Lauriebell82 Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Well, I'm not sure which it is at the moment. I posted another thread about how my boyfriend reacts when i get pissed off and upset. He says that i overreact to every situation and get way to upset over nothing. We had a huge fight the other night about something really dumb. We were on the way to my friends house and i was driving. I hate driving with my boyfriend cause he constantly criticizes my driving and tells me what turns to make, i'm driving too fast, driving too slow, ect. Anyway, the person I was following got too far out in front of me so i didnt know where i was driving. I was overwelmed because i was uncomfortable driving in an unfamiliar place, that coupled with the fact that my bf criticizing how i was driving just frustrated me. I yelled at him a little bit, not mean or name calling, just the snappyness attitude that he classifies as "my temper." Anyway, when we got back to his apartment we got in a huge argument about the whole thing. Again he doubts our future saying that he is scared that if we had children that i would swear and yell like that at him if our children were in the car with us! He really made me feel bad and said that he doesnt know if he can be married to someone who gets that upset or stupid things. I then told him that maybe he needs to be with someone who can be calm when they are upset and he said maybe he did. That really shattered me so i tried to walk out but he ran to the door and blocked it so i wouldnt leave. To make a long story short, yes we did make up, he apologized for saying those things and told me how much he loves me and doesnt want to be without me. He said he just lost his temper and he really does love me. So, wtf? I am still extremely confused about the whole thing. And the kid wonders why i get so insecure. As of now i'm not sure what to do. Things are wonderful between us right now, but i just know that the next time i "dont calm down fast enough" its going to happen again. I dont know what to make about this. I mean i feel like he is just stringing me along, and i really dont want to devote my life and my love to someone who isnt going to do the same for me. I'm scared he doesn't think i'm the one for him and if he doenst than he is just stringing me along. Does anyone have any insight into any of this? p.s. I asked him why fighting bothers him, and he said that it is because his parents rarely fought, they just discussed things calmly.
allina Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 So why is it okay for him to lose his temper and not you? He apologized for losing his but freaks out when you lose yours, not rational. I agree with him in the sense that you should be able to control your mood a little better, driving in a car in an unfamiliar area shouldn't cause such anxiety/attitude in a healthy grown woman, but we all get irritated at times and it shouldn't be a big deal. I have a hard time understanding your bf's actions sometimes so Im not sure about how to handle it. He seems very extreme when you guys fight going from "I'm not sure about this relationship" to "I love you so much and can't be without you"
melodymatters Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Hey Laurie ! Glad things have eased up on the money front at least ! But remember : this is part and parcel of the guy you are in love with. he CANNOTT take any sort of negative emotion without internalizing it. Doesn't matter why ; it's just the way he's wired. I am still good friends with my ex who is a blue print of your guy and he is having the SAME problems with his new girl. They are currently estranged because she " has emotional outbursts". I don't see much changing : you need to learn to speak like a mental health nurse dealing with an upset 2 yr old or find another guy. I wish there were more options but I am living proof there are not. Good luck sweetie !
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