Lilly Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 A friend of mine and I are disagreeing on a subject and I would like to get some opinions. What if a guy that you've been dating for five months has never told you that he loves you. Does this mean he doesn't? Also my friend says that if he doesn't tell you, you should just go ahead and tell him that you love him. That is if you do. Even if he doesn't say it back. I say you should wait for him to be the one to say it first. How ever long it takes. But how long should it take? What do you think?
Tyra Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 If he haven't told you that he loves you yet, than more than likely he doesn't, not saying that he never will. You never know, he could just be waiting for you though. You know what I mean. But me personally, I would just wait until he tells you first, cause you don't want to tell him and he doesn't respond, and you'll end up looking crazy. Another thing, you don't want him to tell you he loves you and doesn't mean it, right? Everyone is different. Some people tell someone they love them in two weeks of meeting a person, and others, like in your situation, more than five months without saying it. Think about it o.k.
Author Lilly Posted July 22, 2007 Author Posted July 22, 2007 Tyra, Thanks, I totally agree with what you said. If he doesn't say it after six months though, then should you just move on? Maybe he never will be able to love that person. Surely they should know after six months if they love the person.
norajane Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Love is an action - how does he behave? Actions speak louder than words, and are often far more truthful. You can't put arbitrary time frames on when someone 'should' know about love. 6 months could be a very long time if you spend a lot of time together, or it could be barely starting things if you only see each other a few times a month.
Enema Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Your friend hasn't said "I love you" either... does that mean she doesn't? It's so silly, everyone worrying so much about the consequences of putting your emotions out there. If she feels it, she should say it. Playing games with it helps nothing.
AHIWON Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Get in touch with your emotions. Can be one of the best things you ever done for yourself. Love doesn't have a time line, it has a feeling. You know you are there when you are there. Nobody else can tell you otherwise!
D&L Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Just because a man doesnt say that he loves you, it doesnt necessarily mean that he doesnt. I personally feel five months is way to short before telling someone you love them and having it be genuine and real love and not just infatuation or lust. If a person really loves you, you will see it in their actions towards you. Actions always speak louder than words. But if he hasnt said I love yet, be patient because it has only been 5 months.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 why not ask him to tell you how he feels about you? then you will know.
oppath Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Don't jump to conclusions about how he feels! Ask, "how do you feel about me and our relationship?" He might say "I'm developing deep feelings for you and falling for you. I deeply care about you." Would that satisfy you? I love you means different things to different people. Often when people first say it, it means "I feel loved by you so therefore I love you," because sex, intimacy, affection, those things make you feel loved. To me, love is what remains after the infatuation diminishes. Love is what exists after there have been some minor fights or disagreements but you look at that person with just as much respect and admiration afterwards. I couldn't truly love someone until after we have fought and made up and until they have had some kind of difficult time in life, so I could determine how WE would cope with it. That's just me and my definition of love. To me, the word is SERIOUS, it means "I am making a commitment to you" and want this relationship to develop and go the distance. WANT means more than HOPE. I didn't tell my ex I loved her. I do believe I did. I was getting ready too. Sometimes I feel I waited too long, but she never asked how I felt. She told me she loved me after 3 months, but she'd also say "I'm 85% sure you are the guy I am going to marry" and "when you were hiking up those rocks, I imagined a little boy, our son following you. Does that scare you?" I could only answer yes, it did scare me, and I felt it was too soon to say those things. This didn't mean I didn't care and I did want a long term relationship with her, but it was too soon to reciprocate, because we hadn't faced difficulties together yet, etc, but I did have strong feelings for her.
Author Lilly Posted July 23, 2007 Author Posted July 23, 2007 Such great advice from everyone. Thank you all so much. I do agree that actions speak louder than words and he truly shows it with his actions. I will be patient and see what happens.
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