Hestia Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I know this will probably sound very silly or naive to most of you (or maybe not, I don't know, that's why I wanted to hear some opinions) but when I was younger, as a teenager, I truly believed that boys/men didn't fall in love. I thought guys didn't feel passion or butterflies in their stomach, but specially I never thought men could be emotionally attached to a girl. That love was only lust to them. Or just physical. Basically, in my innocence, I thought love was too girly for men to feel. I have no idea where that thought came from, maybe I just didnt know men very well at the time. I'm only wondering if there is anybody else who felt this way too.
Tyra Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 When I was younger I thought that men didn't fall in love. But I thought since my mother and father are married, he must love her. But other men, like ordinary men, I thought that they don't fall in love , well not heavy like females. Until I met my man, which we are in a three year relationship, and we both are truly in depth in love with one another, and it isn't just lust or just physical attraction, though its an aspect of our relationship. And Im tattooed on his arm.
Pyro Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I know this will probably sound very silly or naive to most of you (or maybe not, I don't know, that's why I wanted to hear some opinions) but when I was younger, as a teenager, I truly believed that boys/men didn't fall in love. I thought guys didn't feel passion or butterflies in their stomach, but specially I never thought men could be emotionally attached to a girl. That love was only lust to them. Or just physical. Basically, in my innocence, I thought love was too girly for men to feel. I have no idea where that thought came from, maybe I just didnt know men very well at the time. I'm only wondering if there is anybody else who felt this way too. You just have to meet the right guy. We do fall in love as long as we meet a girl who takes our breath away.
Curmudgeon Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 You just have to meet the right guy. We do fall in love as long as we meet a girl who takes our breath away. The last thing I was looking for when I first asked my wife out was love. I simply wanted some companionship on a short day trip I was taking to visit a particular store which sold a one-of-a-kind line of gifts I wanted for my daughters for Christmas. Love blindsided both of us that day (after a five year friendship). We damn sure fall in love when it's right, and the person is too.
EnigmaXOXO Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I have no idea where that thought came from, maybe I just didnt know men very well at the time. If you read through the many stories posted, you’ll soon discover that men “feel” the same way that women do, although they may have a very different way of expressing themselves. A good many have just as difficult a time ‘letting go’ and dealing with the loss of their relationships and love as we females do. And than there are some, both male and female, who fear and avoid falling in love because they can not let go of past hurts. I'm only wondering if there is anybody else who felt this way too. For me, I’ve never doubted the human capacity and need for love. It’s something we require since the day we are born (in one form or another.) But when I first came to these boards, I was under presumption that all men cheated. That it wasn’t a matter of if ... but rather when. And that was a casualty of my own life and experience given the people I just happened to be surrounded by in my life. However, thanks so some of male posters on this forum, I’ve since learned how skewed my perception of the opposite gender was... and I’m grateful to them for the education. Hope you stick around.
McFadden Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I know this will probably sound very silly or naive to most of you (or maybe not, I don't know, that's why I wanted to hear some opinions) but when I was younger, as a teenager, I truly believed that boys/men didn't fall in love. I thought guys didn't feel passion or butterflies in their stomach, but specially I never thought men could be emotionally attached to a girl. That love was only lust to them. Or just physical. Basically, in my innocence, I thought love was too girly for men to feel. I have no idea where that thought came from, maybe I just didnt know men very well at the time. I'm only wondering if there is anybody else who felt this way too. I have wondered about the same thing. I hang out with a lot of guys who talk about thier other relationships, and they talk about the fact that they sometimes date a girl for months with no feelings toward her just to get laid and then dump her, and are cracking up about it like its a joke or something. And they make bets with each other about girls they are going to have sex with ect. Sometimes I want to go into a rant about how inappropriate I think that is, but I am glad they are so comfortable with me and I don't want to alienate myself from the group. But I know other guys who don't do this and have actual feelings, this is just a few guys. What I'm saying is its scary with guys, you never know if its all an act. You could be in a relationship with them for months where they are acting loving and it is not genuine.
bish Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I know this will probably sound very silly or naive to most of you (or maybe not, I don't know, that's why I wanted to hear some opinions) but when I was younger, as a teenager, I truly believed that boys/men didn't fall in love. I thought guys didn't feel passion or butterflies in their stomach, but specially I never thought men could be emotionally attached to a girl. Well you are absolutely wrong here. I had butterflies with every new relationship...and when I was in love with someone...nobody else mattered. But with my experience with women, and my soon to be single status....at the age of 38, you can better believe, love will not be a part of my vocabulary from here on out. Simply don't believe in it anymore and I have no more to give.
Lean On Me Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I know this will probably sound very silly or naive to most of you (or maybe not, I don't know, that's why I wanted to hear some opinions) but when I was younger, as a teenager, I truly believed that boys/men didn't fall in love. I thought guys didn't feel passion or butterflies in their stomach, but specially I never thought men could be emotionally attached to a girl. That love was only lust to them. Or just physical. Basically, in my innocence, I thought love was too girly for men to feel. I have no idea where that thought came from, maybe I just didnt know men very well at the time. I'm only wondering if there is anybody else who felt this way too. I think some that don't let their "best friend" do all the thinking for them, feels all that good stuff.
Author Hestia Posted July 22, 2007 Author Posted July 22, 2007 But with my experience with women, and my soon to be single status....at the age of 38, you can better believe, love will not be a part of my vocabulary from here on out. Simply don't believe in it anymore and I have no more to give. That is so bitter bish. I hope one day you'll get your faith in women back.
Sweet Chestnut Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 I think some that don't let their "best friend" do all the thinking for them, feels all that good stuff. Thanks, so maybe I should stop doing all the thinking for you then. But then, how are you going to survive? without getting fooled?
Lean On Me Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Well you are absolutely wrong here. I had butterflies with every new relationship...and when I was in love with someone...nobody else mattered. But with my experience with women, and my soon to be single status....at the age of 38, you can better believe, love will not be a part of my vocabulary from here on out. Simply don't believe in it anymore and I have no more to give. Yes, it is, and yes you have. You are just hurting right now.
Lean On Me Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Thanks, so maybe I should stop doing all the thinking for you then. But then, how are you going to survive? without getting fooled? Good thing you don't do all the thinking for me. Don't you have a younger picture of that guy?
Sweet Chestnut Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 depends, if you pm me then we can talk about it. also if you are sweet. I hear you talking of love, could be oyu need it and to show it too. You repress it so much that you cant even love me as a friend. Thanks.
Lean On Me Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 depends, if you pm me then we can talk about it. also if you are sweet. I hear you talking of love, could be oyu need it and to show it too. You repress it so much that you cant even love me as a friend. Thanks. Not that one.
Sweet Chestnut Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Not that one. I know. Just dont put me in a bad mood. I should be rewarded for my patience and my big heart, and not insulted and moke. maybe you needed a recall of how it feel to be unjustly attacked and moke and blamed for everything. And being unable to defend oneself. I was there when the roof and floor burned, I was htere for you. Where were you, where are you now? For what side? Thats when friendship count. Being there when it matters.
AHIWON Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Men certainly do fall in love. I think I have about 4 times in my life. I feel sorry for those that never experienced it. Awesome when it's good, sucks when it ends.
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 I know this will probably sound very silly or naive to most of you (or maybe not, I don't know, that's why I wanted to hear some opinions) but when I was younger, as a teenager, I truly believed that boys/men didn't fall in love. I thought guys didn't feel passion or butterflies in their stomach, but specially I never thought men could be emotionally attached to a girl. That love was only lust to them. Or just physical. Basically, in my innocence, I thought love was too girly for men to feel. I have no idea where that thought came from, maybe I just didnt know men very well at the time. I'm only wondering if there is anybody else who felt this way too. Most don't, although the definition of love is subjective. I've only seen real honest love between genders a few times in my life. Too many men are self-centric. On average, I think it's a mutual use relationship. Butterflies in the stomach is only a phase that everyone goes through, the endorphin-high stage. You'll be one of the lucky ones if you find one that does 'cause it will be a long slog. Good luck.
burning 4 revenge Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Most don't, although the definition of love is subjective. I've only seen real honest love between genders a few times in my life. Too many men are self-centric. On average, I think it's a mutual use relationship. Butterflies in the stomach is only a phase that everyone goes through, the endorphin-high stage. You'll be one of the lucky ones if you find one that does 'cause it will be a long slog. Good luck.romantic love doesn't exist, because it's just selfishness turned outwards
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 romantic love doesn't exist, because it's just selfishness turned outwards Real love is different from romantic love. I agree that romantic love doesn't exist although it continues to be selfishness within. The only time the selfishness goes away is when there's a threat of loss or there's some personal gain involved. I must admit that as a marketing technique it's amazing because it sells products in increments of billion dollars per month. The elusive fantasy that turns into a white elephant when one acquires it...
burning 4 revenge Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Real love is different from romantic love. I agree that romantic love doesn't exist although it continues to be selfishness within. The only time the selfishness goes away is when there's a threat of loss or there's some personal gain involved. I must admit that as a marketing technique it's amazing because it sells products in increments of billion dollars per month. The elusive fantasy that turns into a white elephant when one acquires it...yes Case in point, I was crazy in love with an ex gf and she dumped me. Lately she is struggling with a severe cocaine addiction and she almost OD'ed and was in the hospital for a few days. I felt nothing except a twinge of satisfaction. That's not love
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 yes Case in point, I was crazy in love with an ex gf and she dumped me. Lately she is struggling with a severe cocaine addiction and she almost OD'ed and was in the hospital for a few days. I felt nothing except a twinge of satisfaction. That's not love Ouch. No, that's not love. One ray of light, at least you're over her.
alphamale Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 studies show that men are many times the first to fall in love and the last to fall out of love. in addition, 75% of the time it's the female who terminates the romantic relationship.
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Men fall in lust at the beginning of the relationship and then don't fully invest until it's too late and she's walked or walking out the door.
alphamale Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Men fall in lust at the beginning of the relationship and then don't fully invest until it's too late and she's walked or walking out the door. some of us never invest fully at any point. its less messy that way . why commit to one woman when you can have option to never commit to a boat load
Trialbyfire Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Surprisingly, I agree with that too but it's a situation that not only men find themselves in. All it takes is one third degree burn and survival instincts will kick in, providing a little more mature caution.
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