Dani_babii Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 im confused about what to do.. my ex and i broke up about 3 weeks ago after almost 2 years together (he broke up with me) and i swore i wasn't going to date another guy for a while bcos i am still in love with my ex. But then something happened i met this really great guy, that im crushing on pretty hard. but..im confused about what to do bcos my heart says one thing and my head says another..my ex and i are still really good friends and have talked a lot since the break up, we just have a really good connection that neither of us really want to lose. We've even talked about getting back together, just not at this point in time, but he says he still loves me and i do mean a lot to him. Well heres the thing my heart says to wait for him, bcos hes the one im in love with, he means everything to me, if i wait there is a pretty good chances we'll get back together but then theres that chance that we wont. Heres where my head comes in..it was i should go date this new guy that makes me laugh and i like being around him, he thinks im like the perfect girl and he makes me feel that way too. But its like hes got somethings in his life, that i don't really like. I could fall for this guy if i let myself, but im scared and afraid to just hand this guy my heart, considering my ex still has most of it. Then its like am i even ready to date another guy?? Im not so sure about that. I want to be with my ex but he doesn't want me right now, so do i move on completely?? but i also don't want to hurt this new guy, i dont want him to just be a rebound guy, u know. ANY ADVICE PLEASE?? im so confused on what to do?? Thxs Dani
Lizzie60 Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 Your ex broke up with you... You met someone you really like.. Your ex and you are still good friends... so far so good... We've even talked about getting back together, just not at this point in time, but he says he still loves me and i do mean a lot to him. How much time are we talking about? How do you know your ex didn't leave you cause he wanted to 'explore' what out there? if i wait there is a pretty good chances we'll get back together but then theres that chance that we wont. See...that's what I mean... there is a chance that it won't work out either. My bet is that your ex is dating but will never tell you. This is speculation of course but I don't think he just broke up with you and is not seeing anyone. But its like hes got somethings in his life, that i don't really like. I could fall for this guy if i let myself, but im scared and afraid to just hand this guy my heart, considering my ex still has most of it. Then if your little voice is telling you that there is something wrong, then my bet is that there is something wrong... your instinct is rarely wrong, plus you still love your ex. Then its like am i even ready to date another guy?? I don't think so... you need more time... you're confused and it's not a good sign. I say... wait. I want to be with my ex but he doesn't want me right now, so do i move on completely?? Yabut, you can't be just waiting for your ex to make up his mind... what are you... he can't just put you on the back burner and then, if He wishes to have you back, you'll be right there for His Highness. This is not fair to you either. but i also don't want to hurt this new guy, i dont want him to just be a rebound guy, u know. I say wait if you're not totally sure about all this. Good luck...
Chinook Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 Aside from how you and your ex feel for each other and whether you will or won't get back together, the new guy in question should be considered here too. If you already know that there's no room for anyone else in your heart right now, why take up his time. A crush is just a crush, with less contact it dies pretty quickly. I say wait too. Further down the line you'll see how you feel about your ex and other guys. Right now it's probably too soon. It's only been 3 weeks, give yourself more time.
Author Dani_babii Posted July 21, 2007 Author Posted July 21, 2007 i do agree that im not ready to be with another guy right now, i actually told the new guy exactly how i felt, i also told him that my ex isn't going anywhere in my life as he does mean a lot to me. The guy is actually in a simliar situation which actually makes me feel better about everything. Were suppose to go out tomorrow, but im not sure if i really want to go, but i don't want to hurt him. As far as my ex our relationship is very weird right now, like he knows all about this guy i've told him exactly how i felt, i actually even had a problem with this guy and i went to my ex and he just made me feel better. He went on a date on monday and he told me all about it, he said it wasn't that great, the girl was ok but wasn't me. His reason for breaking up was that he doesn't want to be tied down right now, he wants to do what he wants when he wants and he said that doing that while being with me was hurting me way too much and he doesn't want to. Which i do understand what he means, were both still young (he's 22 & im 19). is it weird though that were talking to each other about other people?? Then theres something else thats weird, he tells me that there is noone else, which i know there isn't bcos of some of our friends, but there is this 15 year old, i know him & his friends are friends with her (they work with her dad) but i have found out they've been talking a lot which i find a lil bit weird. I asked him and he said theyre just friends and i do know him better then probably anyone else and i know he wouldn't date a 15 year old, i just find it a lil weird. I keep thinkin about all this stuff way too much... what should i think, this guy isn't the type to lie to me or his friends (im really good friends with his bests friends girlfriend). What do you think? Thxs Dani
sao2 Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Just a thought . . . I remember reading "you wouldn't use a broken arm to lift heavy objects, don't use a broken heart to make decisions" You may very well still be nursing a broken heart, as the new guy is as well. My thinking is "I can't even imagine the type of psycho that would be attracted to me in my current state of mind" Keep those in mind when you think about dating someone new. Be happy that you met someone you could like, that is important.
Author Dani_babii Posted July 23, 2007 Author Posted July 23, 2007 well my ex called me the other night, cuz he knew i had a rough couple of days (family stuff), well we had a good convo and it just made me feel better about stuff. He basically told me that he never meant to brake my heart and he will always love me, we'll always be friends and he'll always be there for me when i need him. He also expressed how happy he was that him and I were still close, cuz he doesn't want to lose me at this point i lost it and started crying lol. Then we talked about the new guy a lil bit and he said hes always going to make sure im dating the right guys and protect me from the bad ones, which showed me that he really does care about me. I kept getting this vibe from him that he really needed to talk about stuff but he was afriad too. Then last night we were texting back and forth and i knew something was wrong, i asked him if it was me and he said no, he said he was just annoyed in general but it wasn't about me. I told him that im always here for him, no matter whats wrong (i kinda know whats wrong but i wanted him to come out and tell me). He said he knows i am and he just needed to think about stuff but i still kept getting this vibe that he wanted and needed to tell me and talk about what was going on, but he was afraid too. Im not going to push him, but when hes ready to tell me about it, ill be there. As far as the new guy, i think we are going to date but just take things really slow. Thxs, Dani
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