Chinook Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 I posted this on my blog today. I thought it might help a few guys here too... For today's post, I'm going to discuss two very important basic inter-related concepts which affect us all in life, whether we like it or not. Both these aspects of our lives, guide us in our interpersonal relationships with others. They also assist us to go through life without wantonly hurting or damaging those who put themselves before us. That is of course, unless these aspects are absent or damaged in some way. Truth What exactly is the truth in a situation...? Is it your reality or the reality of the other person or people...? Or is it actually some place in between...? Why does the truth matter so much to us as human beings...? What is it that we need from verifiable facts and accuracy that will lead us through life...? I will explain why I think we use the truth to guide us through life. The truth is a state of mind free of error, a state of mind which is an accurate reflection of things in existence, of the things about you. The first thing to know about truth is that it is unchangeable; it is ageless and constant. Truth does not vary or shift, it is a piece of unalterable reality. It follows, therefore, that truth is the same for all of us, according to our reality. The second thing to know about truth is that the discovery of truth serves a purpose and has consequences. To determine the true state of affairs of your physical and emotional surroundings (reality) is essential to a person's life; to take a simple example, it is important for one to know what is immediately ahead when walking about because a nasty fall can lead to being taken to hospital, or worse. Some of our "higher" mental concepts, if wrong, can also lead us to an unhealthy state. Therefore, it is fair to say that our physical and emotional truths exist in the reality around us. We cannot function at our potential best without living with the truths around us. For example, sitting here in my office... no matter how many times someone may tell me that the tree outside is yellow... my eyes still see that tree as green. It doesn't matter if the person telling me is of the highest order amongst men or the lowliest, the tree is still green. Therefore, it can be argued that your word, if speaking the truth... reflects your honour as a man (or woman; I don't discriminate) and as a member of the human race. This brings me to my next part of the post.... Instinct Last week, I did a communications lecture with my first year degree students. I posed the question, 'how do you know when someone isn't telling the truth...?' So... I pose the same question here. How do we know...? I'll tell you how we know. Instinct. Instinct is an inherited tendency of an organism to behave in a certain way, usually in reaction to its environment and for the purpose of fulfilling a specific need (like salmon going back to their breeding grounds etc). The development and performance of instinctive behaviour does not depend upon the specific details of an individual's learning experiences. Instead, instinctive behaviour develops in the same way for all individuals or the same sex. Behaviour in animals often reflects the influence of a combination of instinct and learning. Instinct, as opposed to reflex, is usually used as a result of inherited behaviour patterns that are more complex or sometimes involve a degree of interaction with learning processes. For millennia, human beings have learned the truth about their physical and emotional reality. Hundreds of thousands of ancestors have contributed to the finely honed instinct within each and every one of us today... the instinct of when we know someone or something is not true. We instinctively learn to recognise when there is a flaw in our reality. Very often, there is no concrete evidence or issue we can draw upon which will tell us 'yes, you are correct, this situation is untrue'. But we rely heavily on our five senses and the sixth sense of instinct to know when things are wrong. How we know is by watching, listening, feeling, touching and speaking. We listen to the words being said to us, we watch carefully the actions of those around us, we touch the skin and body of those around us and we talk and carefully listen to the responses. All this information tells us when something is wrong. A human being is a more keen lie-detector than any machine. In those cases where people say 'I didn't know about it, I was lied to' usually you will find if they look back, there has been something which has gone ignored which blatantly showed the truth. What it comes down to is, if your instinct is telling you that something is not right, then the chances are that there is something which is just not right. Women are often accused of being hysterical or neurotic because they sense something is wrong, especially in a relationship. When individuals sense something wrong, the most damaging thing anyone can do... is to dismiss that instinctual feeling, because in that moment you're damaging that person's self-confidence, self-esteem, trust and perspective on reality. The fact is in normal people, most individuals know where it's at....they know whether they can trust you or not and they know what the truth is about what you say or don't say. Most normal people will deal with the consequences of knowing the truth about a situation or person, rather than waste their time with lies. Most normal people when faced with an assertion from someone who they assume is normal too, will instead of believing their own instinct, question their own state of mind.... and what people who are lying do, is play on this. So you come out of the situation believing the tree could be yellow, even though your eyes tell you it's green!
East of Jupiter Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I posted this on my blog today. I thought it might help a few guys here too... The lesson on truth and instict has been a long one for me. Mine could be along story. The daughter of an emotionally absent womanizing father, I grew up believing my mother's words over my father's actions. I call my father's love my mother's magic trick. I found out I married a womanizer several years ago. But I still am in the process of learning just what that means. This past week I realized (yes, it should be obvious) that he is a liar. I didn't put cheater and liar together. I put cheater makes a mistake and lies. He has been very good since and we have a good marriage. Recently I found out that he had altered our agreement about him being truthful regarding his coworkers. He recently had chosen not to tell me about two ladies he works with. Why? Because they are young and attractive and he wanted to avoid a 'discussion" about it. He wanted to avoid a conflict. This is very well true as he can't handle any type of difficult discussion. Whether it is an abused child or a dead pet. My insticts tell me this is bull. He explains it all. Apologizes. Admits he did wrong but denies any intention or desire or even attraction to these women. This might be more palitable if he had not gone out of his way to talk to me about the other women he works with. Opening his emails and putting on speaker other people. Giving me a false sense that he was being completely honest. I am not sure I can go on in this marriage of over 20 years. We have children. We have a good sex life and a great relationship. He is a kind, considerate, loving and attentive husband. He is an exceptional father. He mimimizes the lie. I am tired of lecturing on what he should already know. He has hurt me deeply so many times that I find it hard to get over this. Am I overreacting? After all this work post discovery do I walk away even though nothing has happened? This is the cycle I have lived for many years until I found out about him. I'm emotionally sick. I don't want to live my mother's life. I can't stand that I love this man who can love me but yet have so little respect for my feelings. He will do anything and everything. He doesnj't want a divorce. He doesn't want anything or anybody so he says. I say not telling me about the attractive women he works with was in effect leaving the door open for the future. He is insulted by that and insists he has no desire to cheat. He is insistant on this. I'm tired of it all.
Trialbyfire Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Whether you want to call it instinct or gut instinct, I truly believe the sixth sense is nothing more than the subconscious mind picking up patterns of behaviour that our conscious mind either refuses to acknowledge, is unable to process or hasn't processed.
Author Chinook Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 Whether you want to call it instinct or gut instinct, I truly believe the sixth sense is nothing more than the subconscious mind picking up patterns of behaviour that our conscious mind either refuses to acknowledge, is unable to process or hasn't processed.After the last 6 months TBF, I have to say I completely agree with that. I called it a 6th sense I know but I believe as you do it is previous experiences imprinted on us and the subconscious picking those flags up.
Trialbyfire Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 After the last 6 months TBF, I have to say I completely agree with that. I called it a 6th sense I know but I believe as you do it is previous experiences imprinted on us and the subconscious picking those flags up. We appear to have both learned a few things in the last six months to a year. Listen to your gut instinct, not solely your emotions or your intellect. Balance.
FireandIce Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Whether you want to call it instinct or gut instinct, I truly believe the sixth sense is nothing more than the subconscious mind picking up patterns of behaviour that our conscious mind either refuses to acknowledge, is unable to process or hasn't processed. ITA with that. Now looking back I really wish I would have listened to my "woman's intuition" instead of my head.
lonelybird Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Maybe instinct is a part of divine spark, small still voice from within. Some of us are very sensitive to this. Some of us become very numb to instinct. People look the world with a twisted glass, different people has different twisted glass, they project the world differently. Their imaginery in mind become reality to them. Such as addiction to love, in their mind the other person become air and water, if without this person, they image they could not survive. They image they themselves are in control of things that involves many other outside elements and people, which is pride. They image what they believe is the absolute truth, such as rational thinking. they believe in rational thinking like believing in god. And they image their future according to their past. In the past they experienced many negative things, the past negative thought come back to haunt them, and they believed it! But instinct will not be fooled by all these imagenaries. "instinct" always try to protect us, and lead us to the absolute truth: God
child_of_isis Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I will go you one further. I think we are all subconsciously linked. Our subs read their subs then eventually formulate a thought that our conscious mind understands. Wicked, eh? ;-) Whether you want to call it instinct or gut instinct, I truly believe the sixth sense is nothing more than the subconscious mind picking up patterns of behaviour that our conscious mind either refuses to acknowledge, is unable to process or hasn't processed.
Lynna Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I have definitely learned to trust instinct, whatever the source! It has proven itself to be superior to my conscious mind many times over. Once it involved a car accident, once a lost diamond bracelet, and it led me to discover my H's A quickly. It only lasted a month and a half because I listened to my instinct and started paying attention. Maybe if I had not had those earlier experiences which had a big impact on me because they were so INCREDIBLY vivid, then I might not have listened so well about the A and things might have gone on longer. So lesson - listen to your instinct, always! It knows! I am not sure I can go on in this marriage of over 20 years... He has hurt me deeply so many times that I find it hard to get over this... He doesnj't want a divorce. He doesn't want anything or anybody so he says. EofJ have you talked to him about MC? That might help? And it sounds like IC for each of you might also be helpful.
Trialbyfire Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 I will go you one further. I think we are all subconsciously linked. Our subs read their subs then eventually formulate a thought that our conscious mind understands. Wicked, eh? ;-) Whoah...don't you be going all metaphysical on me...
East of Jupiter Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Thank you for the response. I knew something was wrong throughout my marriage but I couldn't confirm anything. I don't know why we don't act other than fear. And I have known fear since I was a very little girl. I think we get used to it. I am in the field. I had very good IC as I worked with therapist. I have also done a lot of work on my own. This issue with him actually brought me to face my entire past and I have worked out a great many things from the past. But MC is non-negotiable at this point. EofJ have you talked to him about MC? That might help? And it sounds like IC for each of you might also be helpful.
Recommended Posts