Lizzie60 Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 IO, i agree with annabelle, why are you here if your husband's indiscretion was so insignificant to you? i think it bothers you more than you would like others to know. it is ok to be hurt by this. it is a hard thing to recover from i am sure. This is the worst betrayal of all... so to say it was insignificant...is a load of baloney!
Tomcat33 Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Right, but to answer the original question. Isn't that a reason to not get involved with a MM? If a MM who cheats is not capable of facing his own problems, why would anyone voluntarily have an affair with a MM? Isn't that self inflicted pain? Please don't come back with the "why would a BW take back her H after he cheated, isn't that asking for trouble?" question. That is an other thread and I believe I have answered that question many times. Because I fell in love with him plain and simple. Because I chose to trust his words, and though I knew the conditions were less than ideal, I took a chance on something that felt very different from anything I had experienced before. As those in-love feelings started to outshine the voice of reason I allowed myself to go for the ride . Once I had him and I was uncertain of whether I was going to have him 100% (divorce final) the voice of reason came througha again and IT outshone the feelings of love. And hence did the 180 to where I, and many OW are now. If I had to repeat the circle, I would not do it...now I know not to take a risk that has odds favorably against me, EVEN if I did end up with him. Lesson learned. hope that answers your question
herenow Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 This is the worst betrayal of all... so to say it was insignificant...is a load of baloney! Interesting Lizzie, you think that it's the worst betrayal of all, but you don't seem to have a problem being part of that betrayal. As a matter of fact, I remember a post a while back about you actually helping the marriage by having sex with another woman's husband. Correct me if I'm wrong, it was a while ago, so I may have have my posts mixed up.
herenow Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Because I fell in love with him plain and simple. Because I chose to trust his words, and though I knew the conditions were less than ideal, I took a chance on something that felt very different from anything I had experienced before. As those in-love feelings started to outshine the voice of reason I allowed myself to go for the ride . Once I had him and I was uncertain of whether I was going to have him 100% (divorce final) the voice of reason came througha again and IT outshone the feelings of love. And hence did the 180 to where I, and many OW are now. If I had to repeat the circle, I would not do it...now I know not to take a risk that has odds favorably against me, EVEN if I did end up with him. Lesson learned. hope that answers your question I think that the lessons learned are the best we can expect from these types of affairs. I know I learned many lessons myself.
sadbuttrue Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 there is quite a difference in being a part of a betrayal, and doing the betraying yourself. OW (unmarried) play a part in the deception, but it is the MM that lies to the W everyday, faces her day in and day out with his lying words and actions. the OW is on the periphery of most of this deception, so excuse me if i dont feel as guilty as the actual perpetrator.
herenow Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 there is quite a difference in being a part of a betrayal, and doing the betraying yourself. OW (unmarried) play a part in the deception, but it is the MM that lies to the W everyday, faces her day in and day out with his lying words and actions. the OW is on the periphery of most of this deception, so excuse me if i dont feel as guilty as the actual perpetrator. Actually, I didn't say that at all. I just said that I found it interesting that Lizzie thinks it's such a big betrayal. Because she is so nonchalant about affairs in general. I don't remember saying anything about your situation. You can feel how ever you want, makes no difference to me. However the MM's wife might see it differently. Now it's my turn to do that dreaded chore and get dinner ready for my family. Such is the life of a married woman. Oh well, I kinda like it that way.
Lizzie60 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Interesting Lizzie, you think that it's the worst betrayal of all, but you don't seem to have a problem being part of that betrayal. As a matter of fact, I remember a post a while back about you actually helping the marriage by having sex with another woman's husband. Correct me if I'm wrong, it was a while ago, so I may have have my posts mixed up. To be honest, I don't have a problem being part of the A...I am single, I am not doing the betrayal...he made the promises, not me... I did say that sometimes, the OW helps the marriage by having sex with the MM and keeping him happy at home since he's having what he needs (sex) outside of the M and everything else is taken care by his W and I still believe that.
LivingMyDreams Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Bish!!! Now I'm going to make a pact with you, if you stop harrassing people in OW/OM forum I will not blow your cover, you know exactly what I am talking about... Now let's have it let's be a good boy and promise to behave here while you post in this forum or your little lies don't get exposed. It's been awhile since his last post in this topic. Guess that got him thinking. Too bad it had to come to someone having to threaten him to get him to back off. Let's see how long it takes for him to start again in some other thread. You made it clear that he needed to step down across the forum and not just in this thread. Bish doesn't bother me. IO, lonelybird, and the others like them don't bother me. I understand at least some of their thinking, some of their attitudes, and some of their public facades. I also understand much of their private torment that they have the greatest difficulty dealing with, which is the reason for the public action, attitude and behaviour. There is much to do today in preparation for tomorrow. If I do not get the chance to check in before tomorrow morning, I hope everyone on here (and I do mean EVERYONE) stays safe and enjoys the life that has been given to them. See you all in a little over three weeks! I'm off to Germany and the Middle East with my guy!
bish Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Bish!!! Now I'm going to make a pact with you, if you stop harrassing people in OW/OM forum I will not blow your cover, you know exactly what I am talking about... Now let's have it let's be a good boy and promise to behave here while you post in this forum or your little lies don't get exposed. LOL...like the cover wasn't already blown...as if I was making it a cover in the first place. Sorry toots...the cat is out of the bag already...or do you so easily forget? And as far as harrassment....you harrass BS's pretty well...rubbing their noses in shi!t.
bish Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Well I want to... but my goal is that we all win in the end. If he states here that he will stop the innecessary isnults then I will stick to my word and I will not throw him to the lions. Ball's in his court. You already know I am Salicious....so does everyone else...so you can threaten all you like. And you insult BS's all the time....so stop being a hypocrite.
Lizzie60 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 I'm too lazy to go through all his posts... (plus I'm not really interested)...but I'd like to know your secret.. From what I read he doesn't give a 'hoot' so let's go... tell me ... I'm sure other posters are hanging in ... waiting for the 'bomb'... LOL
bish Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 I'm too lazy to go through all his posts... (plus I'm not really interested)...but I'd like to know your secret.. From what I read he doesn't give a 'hoot' so let's go... tell me ... I'm sure other posters are hanging in ... waiting for the 'bomb'... LOL What bomb? I used to post under the handle Salicious Crumb. That one was banned because I spoke a little too much truth. So I've toned it down a bit...but I am not going to sugarcoat anything for anyone. There is your bomb....WOOHOO....and what a nuclear one it was...LMFAO.
luvmy2ns Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 I don't repsect people who stay with there spouses once they have been cheated on. How many times did you take your wife back? How long did you stay with her once you knew she was sleeping with other men? It can go both ways. But I choose not to go into the Infidelity forum and call the BS names. The difference between the two, however, which seems to conveniently escape OW's, is that the only one the BS may be hurting by this is her/himself. Not so with an OW/OM.
annabelle75 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 The difference between the two, however, which seems to conveniently escape OW's, is that the only one the BS may be hurting by this is her/himself. Not so with an OW/OM. Huh? That sentence doesn't actually make sense.
luvmy2ns Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Huh? That sentence doesn't actually make sense. Let me spell it out a little clearer. A BS who chooses to stay with a cheater may be hurting him/herself, but that is the only one who may be hurt by the choice to stay. I say "may" because if the cheater has come to the realization of all they could lose and never cheats again, then the BS hasn't hurt him/herself at all by sticking it out and working on their marriage. Are you following me so far? Good. Now the OW/OM, on the other hand, may be hurting him/herself. HOWEVER, they are DEFINITELY hurting the BS and any children that are involved.
Woggle Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 With the exception of people like Lizzie who know exactly what they are getting into I just think that OW/OM are idiots. How can people get so bent out of shape over somebody that is already cheating on their spouse? I would never trust a woman that cheated on her husband with me because it is an issue of character and I don't want a woman with poor character. People that get involved with a person who is married are suckers.
annabelle75 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Let me spell it out a little clearer. A BS who chooses to stay with a cheater may be hurting him/herself, but that is the only one who may be hurt by the choice to stay. I say "may" because if the cheater has come to the realization of all they could lose and never cheats again, then the BS hasn't hurt him/herself at all by sticking it out and working on their marriage. Are you following me so far? Good. Now the OW/OM, on the other hand, may be hurting him/herself. HOWEVER, they are DEFINITELY hurting the BS and any children that are involved. Is there a reason you feel the need to speak down to everyone? The condescending tone in your posts doesn't help in getting your point across. And your previous post literally did not make any sense, hence the need for you to explain. And in answer to your post ......... the OW/OM isn't hurting the BS. The MM/MW that is cheating on them is. If you are goign to start pointing a finger and placing blame on some one make sure you are pointing it the responsible party. If the only thing that is keeping a MM/MW from cheating is the lack of an available OM/OW....well ....... I'm sure you get the point of what I am saying.
Lizzie60 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 the only person responsible if anyone gets hurts is the MM or MW...
Tomcat33 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 You already know I am Salicious....so does everyone else...so you can threaten all you like. And you insult BS's all the time....so stop being a hypocrite. Oh be quiet! I don't insult BSs I defend my stance and in turn when I have to defend my opinions people take offence. I have NEVER EVER gone into the Betrayed Spouses forum and hurled insutls out like you and a lot of your clan does on here! Seeing as you don't give a crap about having your mask taken off I will be the first to demask you. So here goes: Not only is Bish the same person as Salicious Crum who was already banned from the system for bieng a complete JERK, he also is a liar. He changes his personal story by the minute to defend the bull$hit that he spews when he is trying to verbally abuse OW. Yesterday he said the following when asked how long he stayed with his W after he found out she cheated on him: Originally Posted by annabelle75 I don't repsect people who stay with there spouses once they have been cheated on. How many times did you take your wife back? Once because I found out she cheated when we were engaged. Quote: How long did you stay with her once you knew she was sleeping with other men? His response: The next day I found out she messed around during marriage, I told her to get out and that I was divorcing her. So I guess a whole day. BUT the ding-dong forgets that only the day before he posted this in the thread A few questions for the husband/wife of the straying spouse Post #13 to be exact: Well, its funny how all the people that knew your spouse was messing around come out of the woodwork to tell you about it once they realize you are getting divorced. I found out my stbxW cheated during our engagement, after our first child was born, after our 2nd child was born, and during the divorce. All this in an 8 year period. I'm a little pissed at the people that never told me. they didn't want to "rock the boat"...well now that there are 2 children in the middle of it all....do they really think it was better not to tell??? Needless to say, I'll be getting rid of a real tramp. Good riddance. Looking forward to being single. __________________ ------------------ I jussa lil bish So he is FULL OF CRAP. he changes his story in a schizo manner undermining the intelligence of the people here who read his crap and he then expects respect or for people to respect his points of view? Pffft AND if you click on the posts by SC you will see hi did not stay with his W one day after he found out she cheated, he found out quite some time ago and has been on here btchng about her and OW for quite some time.. Take a hike Salicious Crum/Bish whomever you are!! you know at one point I felt sorry for you but you are just a malicious person who has major anger problems!
whichwayisup Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 TC, why not just put him on ignore if he bugs you so much? I found out my stbxW cheated during our engagement, after our first child was born, after our 2nd child was born, and during the divorce. he found this out AFTER the fact, not before or over those years, he found out and then started posting here. All this in an 8 year period. I'm a little pissed at the people that never told me. they didn't want to "rock the boat"...well now that there are 2 children in the middle of it all....do they really think it was better not to tell??? Re-read his post again...
bish Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 Oh be quiet! I don't insult BSs I defend my stance and in turn when I have to defend my opinions people take offence. I have NEVER EVER gone into the Betrayed Spouses forum and hurled insutls out like you and a lot of your clan does on here! Seeing as you don't give a crap about having your mask taken off I will be the first to demask you. So here goes: Not only is Bish the same person as Salicious Crum who was already banned from the system for bieng a complete JERK, he also is a liar. He changes his personal story by the minute to defend the bull$hit that he spews when he is trying to verbally abuse OW. Yesterday he said the following when asked how long he stayed with his W after he found out she cheated on him: His response: BUT the ding-dong forgets that only the day before he posted this in the thread A few questions for the husband/wife of the straying spouse Post #13 to be exact: So he is FULL OF CRAP. Both posts and responses are perfectly in order. No lies and no flip flopping. I found out she cheated during our engagement a year ago. So I had no proof that she cheated DURING marriage. When I found out that she cheated during marriage, that is when I told her to get out. So how am I full of crap? I didn't kick her out when I found out about the engagement cheating because, as alot of ppl here think, it was BEFORE marriage. The day after I found out she cheated DURING marriage, she was out the door. Here endeth the lesson.
bish Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 you know at one point I felt sorry for you but you are just a malicious person who has major anger problems! Well, with people like you in the world that cheat, and sleep with other peoples' spouses, I'd say there is alot to be angry about. People like you disgust me.
Tomcat33 Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 TC, why not just put him on ignore if he bugs you so much? Re-read his post again... YOU re-read the post again. In one thread he says he kicked his W out the next day he found out she cheated, and was with her a WHOLE DAY and in another thread and given all the other posts he has made under SC we ALL know that is NOT true. Guess you missed that too :D NO TIME for liars who pass themselves off for holier than thou's
bish Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 So he is FULL OF CRAP. he changes his story in a schizo manner undermining the intelligence of the people here who read his crap and he then expects respect or for people to respect his points of view? Pffft Well your intelligence should definitely be in question, because its obvious you cannot read. At no time did I change my story. Actually, your posting proved that it was consistent. In both posts that you tried to compare, I said in both that I found out she cheated on me during our engagement. So where is the changing of the story?
bish Posted July 27, 2007 Posted July 27, 2007 YOU re-read the post again. In one thread he says he kicked his W out the next day he found out she cheated, and was with her a WHOLE DAY and in another thread and given all the other posts he has made under SC we ALL know that is NOT true. Guess you missed that too :D NO TIME for liars who pass themselves off for holier than thou's No, it is you that cannot read. I kicked her out the day after I found out that she cheated DURING MARRIAGE. And I do believe in that one post that I told her that I did take my W back after I found it she cheated DURING our ENGAGEMENT. That was a year ago. i found out she cheated during marriage just 3 weeks ago and after finding out she was out the next day. You need to get the chronology straight. And maybe take a reading comprehension class.
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