AHIWON Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Settling is for wimps, real men just want to bang a hot broad, nothing more. Kidding Way more to life than that Anyone else here ever experienced it? No typing from your cell phone!!!
Author Nomad Posted July 23, 2007 Author Posted July 23, 2007 So far, this discussion has dealt in general terms. It would be helpful if anyone had specific examples they could relate from their own lives, especially people currently in relationships. Are you maximally attracted to your partner; in other words is your partner your absolute ideal mate in terms of looks? If not, do you ever secretly wish you could have someone better-looking? Has anyone ever dated someone they actually thought were UGLY?
electric_sheep Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 And yet some would still pick Rosie O'Donnel. I'm willing to bet there's at least one few guy out there who thinks she's the sexiest, most desirable woman he's ever seen, and he wishes she weren't a lesbian. I absolutely agree. I just assumed we were talking about "averages" here. Most people are fully indoctrinated by society, and have adopted the standards of beauty that have been foisted on them since they were born. Nomad mentions there is evidence what we find beautiful is actually genetic, and that's true. There are symmetries and facial features that we may be hardwired to find attractive, but socialization plays a HUGE role in my opinion. I think in general it trumps genetics. If some famous movie actress has big lips or a big nose, it's amazing how quickly this can become the new "thing". That's society not genetics, though admittedly attraction is influenced by both.
electric_sheep Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 Really this is all about rating/value systems. Each of us encounters many, many people in our lives. We use our own personal rating system to decide whether we should seek more interaction with them or not. The idea of having a rating system rubs some people the wrong way, so they try and pretend they don't have one. I think it's rare to find someone without one though, as this implies they make such decisions randomly. Some peoples system is "looser" and "less strict" than others though. So all of this arguing is really just arguing about different rating/value systems, and arguing about the merits of the "default" one provided by society. When people use the term "league" they are generally talking about this default rating society (yeap, society gives us one to use, if we don't want to create our own). Money, personality, looks, intelligence, fashion, power and influence. These are the things that traditionally find there way on the list. As Nomad has pointed out in this thread, "looks" is pretty high up the list, and society is also happy to tell us what constitues "good looking". Of course, I encourage everyone to ignore society and come up with their own system. Funny thing is, that's really hard to do sometimes, even if you recognize what's going on and WANT to do something different. That is the whole point of indoctrination/socialization... to make it hard to buck the system. Wise people come up with their own system and are happy with it. Others agree with society completely, but get pissed because they are not rated too high themselves. Then they have to "settle".
playabum17 Posted July 23, 2007 Posted July 23, 2007 I don't believe anyone thinks that they are settling. I believe that when you fall in love with someone you see them for who they really are regardless of what 'league' they are in. I guess I'm too much of a Pollyanna, but I think if two people find true love, I mean true love with one another it does not matter if one is more attractive than the other or one is fatter than the other or smarter or whatever, they love one another for who they are period. I can also say from experience, that sometimes you meet someone that you think is so-so or very attractive and they become more or less attractive because of their personality. I know some very attractive people who are down right ugly to me because they are *******s.
miabobia Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 There are going to be shallow people in every league. This isn't neccessarily a bad thing. Some people feel more comfortable with people who look just like them. When they look at the person who is in their league, they usually feel like they are looking into a mirror. I think there are ways to change leagues. Change your job, friends, house. Jumping leagues is really easy. But you have to be careful what you ask for. You just might get it. Going to another league is like buying another set of problems that you know nothing about.
Aloros Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I think "leagues" in many cases, are simply a matter of perception. I've been told, more than once and by both sexes, that I am better-looking than my boyfriend. But...I find him incredibly attractive. When I first saw him, before we even spoke, he made my knees weak. I wouldn't change a thing about him. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else because I feel I'd be "trading down" in one sense or another. So maybe those couples you see out there, the ones you think are getting the worse deal between the two, actually find their partners to be very, very attractive. Taste can vary so much.
Pyro Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I have been meaning to ask this, but when we refer to "league" are we referring to it by social status? Looks? Something else?
Author Nomad Posted July 25, 2007 Author Posted July 25, 2007 I have been meaning to ask this, but when we refer to "league" are we referring to it by social status? Looks? Something else? My original question was in reference specifically to looks, not involving income or social status, or anything like that.
Pyro Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 My original question was in reference specifically to looks, not involving income or social status, or anything like that. Ok, thanks. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Generally speaking, if you are afraid to approach someone because you think that they are out of your league, then maybe you don't have enough confidence in who you are and what you look like. Perhaps thats something that those type of people should work on.
allina Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I have been meaning to ask this, but when we refer to "league" are we referring to it by social status? Looks? Something else? To me it's a packaged deal, except for social stats. Looks and intelligence are important to me in an SO, but I also often say that I don't fu*k stupid Also, I think my SO is very sexy, not just because he's mine, my grandma thinks he's a bit scary looking :laugh:
Pyro Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 To me it's a packaged deal, except for social stats. Looks and intelligence are important to me in an SO, but I also often say that I don't fu*k stupid Same here. I can't have just one and not the other.
Cobra_X30 Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 I was at an upscale bar last nite with some friends. The place was packed with gorgeous chicks dressed in designer outfits. Not one of those women was with a nerdy dude. So much for playing out of you league Upscale bar in Detroit? I assume you are referring to a strip club. The only "leagues" that exist outside of highschool are $$$ based.
jcster Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Upscale bar in Detroit? I assume you are referring to a strip club. Ha! No...those are all in Windsor.
Pyro Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Ha! No...those are all in Windsor. There and most of the surrounding cities of Detroit. The city just marked the 40th anniversary of the rioting that lead to Detroit's demise. It s so sad because 40 years ago, Detroit was an amazing city all around.
jcster Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 The city just marked the 40th anniversary of the rioting that lead to Detroit's demise. It s so sad because 40 years ago, Detroit was an amazing city all around. My parents left Detroit in 1966 with little baby me...just a year before it all went to hell. I have such a hard time envisioning the city that they knew and loved becoming the place I last saw 15 years ago. It's unreal. I've talked to people who purposely moved to downtown Detroit (kind of the Urban Pioneer type) and they tried to tell me it was all better now. I don't believe them. I can't believe they haven't turned out the lights yet.
Pyro Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 My parents left Detroit in 1966 with little baby me...just a year before it all went to hell. I have such a hard time envisioning the city that they knew and loved becoming the place I last saw 15 years ago. It's unreal. I've talked to people who purposely moved to downtown Detroit (kind of the Urban Pioneer type) and they tried to tell me it was all better now. I don't believe them. I can't believe they haven't turned out the lights yet. It is better than it was 15 years ago, but they still have aways to go. In the past 15 years, they have put in three casinos, a new football and baseball facility, a riverfront walk/park, a park right in the heart of downtown with an ice skating rink and very cool fountain, and they are currently rebuilding the Cadillac Hotel. Most of the major expressways and Woodward have been repaved and look great.
jcster Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 Have they got around to tearing down all those burnt out houses yet? Glad to hear that they are paying some attention to downtown...all the development can't be on the waterfront. Is the People Mover still running? I ended up growing up in Jackson, which is down I-94 about an hour or so out of Detroit. It wasn't so great either.
zilverenvlinder Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 You know what really sucks? I have always, ALWAYS dated men less attractive than me. And they're always bigger jerks than the ones that are MORE attractive than me! (I've had a couple of those too.) What gives?! Since they're not that good looking, do they think they have to make up for it by being jackasses?
Pyro Posted July 26, 2007 Posted July 26, 2007 Have they got around to tearing down all those burnt out houses yet? Glad to hear that they are paying some attention to downtown...all the development can't be on the waterfront. Is the People Mover still running? I ended up growing up in Jackson, which is down I-94 about an hour or so out of Detroit. It wasn't so great either. Yeah right. The mayor promises to tear down abandoned buildings if elected. He gets elected and guess what he doesn't do?............ This mayor is so corrupt that its not even funny. Google Kwame Kilpatrick and see what you find. They have tore some of the buildings down throughout his current six year run as Mayor, but plenty to go. All the attention is going to downtown and the rest of the city started complaining about being neglected, which they are, so now money is being thrown into 5 different neighborhoods. The people mover is still running strong. Ah yes, Jackson. Last time I was there, I was visiting my Uncle while he served a three year term. Sorry for going off-topic.
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