Nomad Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Guys (or gals): do you ever find yourself wishing you were capable of getting hotter women (or men)? How can one be happy in their "league" without always wishing they could have someone more attractive?
playabum17 Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I don't believe in "leagues." I think I like you!
Enema Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I definitely think "leagues" exist. There are exceptions of course, but 9's date 9's. How to be comfortable with what you've got? I'm not sure, I guess the desire to have someone more attractive is purely a physical thing. Try to make yourself realise that while the grass may look greener, it probably isn't
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Guys (or gals): do you ever find yourself wishing you were capable of getting hotter women (or men)? How can one be happy in their "league" without always wishing they could have someone more attractive? No and no. I hate that term "league". Broken record says..."if there's chemistry, what does it matter?".
alphamale Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I don't believe in "leagues." well i have news for you JCSTER....almost everything in the world revolves around some type of "league"
Pyro Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I don't believe in "leagues." No and no. I hate that term "league". Broken record says..."if there's chemistry, what does it matter?". Ditto. Those who do believe in leagues are not in my league.
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Ditto. Those who do believe in leagues are not in my league. The LS guys are on a roll tonight.
underpants Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 This league idea is in YOUR mind. After all we are all free agents and we make up our teams. Pick a good partner and consider all the attributes they bring to the game. I have been there. I have dated men who maybe physically I was "hotter" just hoping they would be so into my hotness they would love me and treat me right. Does not happen. I remember one boyfriend that asked me if I got upset because so many other guys looked at me. My reply was that I didn't notice because I was too busy looking at him. He later dumped me, insecure maybe. A mutual friend says he can't even speak of me now...years later. Urgh. I have also dated super fine men who I felt like a troll next to, but for some reason they dug me. I agree with TBF, it really is all about the chemistry. Chemistry is sometimes just there and sometimes it is like a slow burn. I have said it before the brain is the sexiest part of the human body. Also, really the only part that gets better with age. (well unless, there is an issue there). If you find yourself attracted to a person, and you can take it to that next level and you know they are great. What would stop you from using the angst of doubt (hey this other one might be a level up) as validation to turn that doubt/momentary attraction around to ...yea, but I got this person and they rock. See what I mean? It is all a search and I have had my share of failures, but I do know that a hand on the penis is better then one or two in the bush. (I should write that down).
jcster Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Sorry Alpha-Male, but I strongly disagree. Leagues exist only by mutual agreement. Who decides who the 9's are? You decide if you're a 9 - someone else decides if they're a 9 - you may or may not agree. You will never convince the other person that they are not a 9 - even if you think they are a 6. "Leagues" are fiction - they only hold water in tiny pockets of homogeneously thinking people and only hold sway over those who subscribe to the view. You might pigeonhole someone as being in a particular league, but it will only be the case if you can convince them. Everyone...put down your magazines, turn off your TVs and meet your neighbors! Talk to people and realize that the quantifying and sorting that you're advocating has no basis in actual reality! No one is calibrating the scale except you.
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Also, really the only part that gets better with age. (well unless, there is an issue there). Good thing you put a qualifier on that. If you didn't do it, I would have.
oppath Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Yes, league isn't a good term because it's not truly descriptive. Saying "when there's chemistry, it doesn't matter" isn't fully descriptive either, unless you are assuming chemistry fully includes physical chemistry. I have said I often date below my league, because I've had confidence issues. Given my confidence and skill set at the time, they were in my league, or rather, my market value was such that I couldn't attract other people. When I gained confidence and improved my dating skills, I was able to attract people who were better looking and who I felt more physical chemistry with, which is a big part of chemistry. I don't turn heads, and I'm not everyone's type, but I am handsome, and I need (yes, I said need) a girl who is cute and athletic (though not a gym rat), because I won't feel chemistry otherwise, and I need someone who can compliment my lifestyle. Often when people say "if there is chemistry it doesn't matter" appear to be saying if your personalities mesh well, what you look like doesn't matter so much. I disagree. For me to make out with someone, I need to be physically attracted to them. Of course, if my personality meshes well, physical chemistry is more likely to exist, but conversely, if I am attracted to someone, our personalities are likely to better mesh because I'll be more flirtatious and we'll have more fun. However, I wouldn't get into a relationship if I weren't fully attracted to a woman as a whole: her entire person, especially her mind. Physical attraction would be part of that. So I'd have no desire to trade up or wonder "can I do better?" because I won't go out with a woman more than 2-3 times if I feel I can do better, better meaning I know complete chemistry, including physical, is not there. This happens with total hotties too, as sometimes they turn my senses daft.
alphamale Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Talk to people and realize that the quantifying and sorting that you're advocating has no basis in actual reality! No one is calibrating the scale except you. why don't you try to get a date with brad pitt or get yourself invited to the white house for dinner? hahaha
jcster Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 why don't you try to get a date with brad pitt or get yourself invited to the white house for dinner? hahaha Stranger things have happened. Does that sounds so impossible? Who the hell is Brad Pitt anyway? What's so freaking great about him? I wouldn't possibly have dinner at the White House, at least until the current guy's lease is up. (I may not believe in leagues, but I have standards).
Pyro Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 why don't you try to get a date with brad pitt or get yourself invited to the white house for dinner? hahaha Brad Pitt is married genius. What does getting invited to the White House have to do with leagues and dating?
underpants Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Good thing you put a qualifier on that. If you didn't do it, I would have. Yes, I almost forgot, then I thought of my most recent...ehhh...disappointment.
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Yes, I almost forgot, then I thought of my most recent...ehhh...disappointment.I hear you. I personally feel that men who've had lobotomies should wear a cautionary sign. Something else the government should reinforce.
underpants Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Stranger things have happened. Does that sounds so impossible? Who the hell is Brad Pitt anyway? What's so freaking great about him? I wouldn't possibly have dinner at the White House, at least until the current guy's lease is up. (I may not believe in leagues, but I have standards). This made me laugh out loud. Standards, not leagues. Standards may not get you laid as often but they do keep you safe. Also, I don't think I could stomach dinner at the White House under the current administration.
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I don't know. If you hang with the current administration, you could easily get screwed.
underpants Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I don't know. If you hang with the current administration, you could easily get screwed. I know, they should all wear that cautionary sign you speak of. However, how can we ever get this passed when the lunatics are running the asylum?
alphamale Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Standards, not leagues. leagues are standards....people with the same standards tend to hang out together.
Trialbyfire Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I know, they should all wear that cautionary sign you speak of. However, how can we ever get this passed when the lunatics are running the asylum? Just use a spraybomb for all the bugs and you'll cripple the current administration. As you can see, the bugs have been so effective with terrorists...
oppath Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 My buddies and I always had a saying in college if someone said "she's out of your league." "That may be true, but she's not too good to put my balls in her mouth." Ladies, sorry if that degrades you. I'm just saying...
alphamale Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 "That may be true, but she's not too good to put my balls in her mouth."... before that could happen she would have to agree to go out with you
oppath Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I don't know when you went to college, but when I was there people didn't go out. They hooked up or were joined at the hip from day 1. But point is made, we didn't get our balls in those girl's mouths too often, but it sure as hell was fun to say.
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