marlboro Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Hi Everybody: As quite a few of you, my heart is completely broken. Like everyone, my situation is also unique - I am a 32 yr male and met this woman about 3 yrs ago, and we became really good friends - she would say that I am her best and closest friend. For the 1st 2 yrs, we were not dating at all. However about 14 months ago (April 06), she made a "move" (so to speak), and we got romantically involved. However, I told her that I feel that this would really screw up our friendship, but she did not think likewise. On the same note, I was very apphrensive about getting involved with her because of my history - I had been brutally raped by 2 men a few years, and still had a quite a few scars from it (figuratively speaking). However, when I confided about this to her, she was very supportive, and told me she would help me in all possible ways. At the same time, I had to move cities as I had got a new job. So we had this long dist relationship, and slowly and surely I completely fell in love with her. In Jan 07, she broke up with me (reason: she doesnt think we will work in the grand, long-term scheme of things). Being a very rational person (atleast at that point in time), I accepted her decision with no drama, and swallowed the bitter pill..However, we would talk at least twice a day, and she started seeing someone else too.... However, when I saw her again in April (she had broken off w the new bf then), I couldnt resist my emotions and begged her to come back, and with a lot of talking we got back together in May, and we had a great time for a few weeks, and I obviously told her exactly how I feel for her, and she responded multiple times by saying "I love you too, and I love you a lot". However, in mid June, she again broke it off, and this time it has been really tough on me, bc I could not understand why she would say all that and things would be so different from her side within a couple of weeks...... Till yesterday, we would talk multiple times a day, and each conversation would finally turn to (from my side) why we could not work on our relationship...So yesterday, finally she told me that "she is fed up of me", but still wants to be friends and enjoy that. Being a somewhat of a rational person, I decided its best to let it go - I have been through a lot rougher time in my life after my rape - but still this one hurts so bad. I have lost my best friend, and my love too. :-( As of now, I have decided a complete NC from my side....Just wanted to share my story, and hopefully get some advice/opinions of others on it.... Love should not be so tough - hope everyone finds what they deserve!
selena_cat Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Ive added you to my buddy list, cuz you need a friend, i would implement No contact with her, no calling,emailing,text, and no begging!!!! Theres teh thing called self respect and it goes a long way,there are better people out there you'll see, it'll take time, let me know how it goes, remember No contact!!
Author marlboro Posted July 20, 2007 Author Posted July 20, 2007 Hi selena_cat: Thanks for ur response....I am sure she will call me just to see how I am doing, but I dont really know how to handle that! marlboro
funkybassplayer Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Tell her never to call you again, and go n/c its the only way to heal bro, stay strong, you will get your self respect, and feel great for that.
Hestia Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 She looks like she doesn't know what she wants. And telling you "she's fed up of you" but still wants all the perks about being your friend? That's not very nice. I agree with the other members, go NC. It's good that you are so rational about these situations, I wish I was as calm as you, so keep the good work and give it time, you'll be fine.
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