supertouch Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 but still love and want to be with the other person more than anything? i'm curious about your take on fighting and relationships.
PandorasBox Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 but still love and want to be with the other person more than anything? i'm curious about your take on fighting and relationships. I don't know to many couples who don't argue at times. Most couples do disagree or will at some point about something. I think alot of it has to do with how you argue/disagree. Theres always more of a a civil way to go about it I think. Screaming matches are so unproductive.
Pyro Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 but still love and want to be with the other person more than anything? i'm curious about your take on fighting and relationships. Very rarely do we fight. We both hate it and we both understand the concept of compromise and fairness. Some people seem to like the drama of fighting but I do not miss it one bit.
Trialbyfire Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Constant fighting means you have core compatibility issues. Whether this means you're both stubborn or have different objectives, is meaningless. At the end of the day, if you can't get along with your loved one, it's simply not worth the trouble. -edit: Try not to change each other because that can also be a major cause of fighting.
oppath Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Studies have shown (hey, I'm getting my phd) that arguing, even heated arguing, can cause no problems in a relationship. What matters is the ratio of positive, affirming parts of conversations to resentful parts, basically 5:1. If you are too kind, often emotions and needs are left unsaid, so anger itself and arguing are not bad. What is important is being able to step back and say "I'm sorry, I was frustrated, you know how I get sometimes, I care about you so much which is why this was such a big deal for me, I love you" etc. Preferably, those things should come within the fight too, even if you were steaming the moment before. What I am saying isn't the same thing as fight, make up, fight, make up. Affection needs to be expressed within the fight, but it is ok to raise your voice or get a little heated. Saying "I feel angry right now" would be ideal rather than expressing it, but that's not a reality. what is important is to argue with love, not with resentment or contempt.
manders0724 Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 i believe its cuz we are both really stubborn. neither of us want to give in. we both also have very different views on relationships; i believe in alot stricter boundaries, hence no flirting with other people, not hanging out with just another girl without me there, etc; he believes flirting is okay, and hanging out by yourself with the oposite sex is fine. he has cheated on every girlfriend hes had until me, i am very against cheating. it makes things very difficult at times, but at the end of the day no matter what has happened we are both still here. if you both want to be there and are willing to keep on keepin on i guess, it can work. its worked for us, we have lived together for over a year and i love him more each day. if it wasnt for our differences i dont think we would have made it this far
Tyra Posted July 22, 2007 Posted July 22, 2007 Of course ever relationship have arguments, but all the time isn't good. Not at all. I personally don't like arguing and the fussing, it doesn't do anything, oppose to just sitting you S.O down and discussing your issues like mature adults and not like children. Im in a 3 year relationship, we have disagreements, of course, but we rarely fuss about them. Maybe every now and then. But not daily
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