BeyondThePale Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 To make a long story short, I dated my g/f for a little over three years and lived with her for 2 years. She met someone else, went out behind my back to see her (yes we were in a lesbian relationship) and eventually told me over the phone she "had feelings for someone else and wanted to pursue them." So, I moved out and had been doing NC for a while with a couple slip ups but only when she'd text me a bazillion times but eventually the other day I told her I didn't want to be her friend. She is insistant on being my friend and I mistakenly met up with her for a beer a few weeks ago and it messed with my head and she confused me and said things like "I realized I lost the love of my life" but never acted like it. That's when I finally decided I couldn't have anything to do with her right now, it's only been 2 months actually from today. So it's been 2 days since I finally told her "I don't want to be friends. Maybe if you put yourself in my shoes you'd understand what it took to be friends or even friendly and whether it's even worth it or not." So today I get a picture from her on my cell phone of her leg cut all up with the message "one for every time I hurt you, varying in length and depth according to the incident. more to follow as I remember them..." I didn't send a text back but called her cousin to check on her and while I was talking to him I got another message that said "and don't worry it's not on my arm...top o my thigh where no one can see ;)" I know she wants attention but she cut her leg all up! WTF?! She's got pictures of she and that woman all over her myspace page and I know they are together. So, what gives? Any advice would be well appreciated...Thank you in advance.
Slippy72 Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Wow, that's prety severe. Your NC worked and it's obviously clear that she misses you, but now it may feel like your progress has been halted. My judgement of the psychological side of a lesbian relationship isn't going to be that accurate though. I'm mainly posting this to get it back at the top of the boards so your question doesn't go unanswered. Maybe talk to someone close to her, family perhaps, and tell them she's been harming herself.
Jmina Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 omg. she obviously has alot of pain in her, but the fact that she showed you her cuts after is a clear scream for your attention. she loves you alot, but not enough to be with you, or even treat you as a friend as she is blind to how pathetic she is acting. you cant be friends with her while she is so out of touch with herself. continue NC for a while. you will know what to do with yourself. i also came out of a lesbian relationship...except she left me as she was curious about men. pfft goodluck. jmina
tinke Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 is this the first time she has self-mutilated? you can easily call your local police dept. with proof of her harming herself and she can be taken in hospital for psychiatric eval/treatment.
Author BeyondThePale Posted July 23, 2007 Author Posted July 23, 2007 is this the first time she has self-mutilated? you can easily call your local police dept. with proof of her harming herself and she can be taken in hospital for psychiatric eval/treatment. Yes, she has hurt herself before a couple of times when we were together but it was always when she was drunk. She quit drinking and was stable for a couple of years but this is just tearing me up. I talked to her this weekend and we were supposed to meet up at the park but then we both decided it was probably best if we didn't see each other. She's still seeing that woman but she says she just needs me to know it's not about someone else but they're still dating each other so I don't know what to think or do.
Author BeyondThePale Posted July 24, 2007 Author Posted July 24, 2007 any other advice out there? All I did last night was sit in my apt. and listen to sad songs and cry, I've got to figure out how to move on.
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