mike5770 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I am so glad I found this site at the right time because there are moments where I will feel weak and miss her and think of the memories...then I start getting ideas..like going to look for her....maybe e-mailing her..or leaving a voicemail. I start bargaining in my head..."Maybe thing are different now...maybe she broke up with rebound man and is looking for me...maybe maybe maybe"..and I get close to wrecking all of the progress I have made mentally in 7 weeks of healing..where my life functions and now she only goes in my head only several times a day rather than every second..where I am thinking about other women and other things in my life. When I get close to cracking I go on this site to remind me every one goes through this...every person who has ever lived on this planet has gone through this..whether they are Brad Pitt or someone rich or famous...it does not matter..you can't get who you want all of the time..and that is life. After reading the stories of other people in here who had more meaningful relationships than my crush and they are going through it..it is like a comradie of sorts. So when the will power is on low..and you are bargaining to get back on the rollercoaster...get on here as fast as you can..because you are better than that. Thanks again to everyone!
Aliddy Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Hi there, I know exactly what you mean, I am on day 21 of N/C and it is getting so much easier, I no longer wonder every time the mobile rings etc. etc. I finished the relationship, as I did not feel loved or happy, and thought that maybe, me doing that would cause him to react and try to sort things out WRONG !!!!! It was me that reacted, 3 times via 1 email, 1text and 1 letter , only to be totally ignored.............. So I stumbled accross this site, and like you found in invaluable............ I have copied down and use so many of the quotes I have found on here. When it has been a long, dark lonely night, I have been able to write how I feel and that has truly helped. So now I think to myself, my instincts were right, he didn't love me, and I did the right thing, without me going n/c I would never of known that !!!!!!!! You keep strong to......
number2 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 aliddy, your story is almost identical to mine. i left because i felt emotionally we werent connected anymore (even though I still loved her, confusing huh?). after waiting for her to contact me, she never did. when i contacted her, i realized again why it was exactly that i left -- because she can't love anyone! anyways keep to no contact and you'll heal so much faster. goodluck
Slippy72 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Yep, NC starts off hard, then gets a little harder, then eventually you reach a point when you don't even realise you're doing it it becomes so easy. I had that feeling. Screwed it up but now I'm eager to get it back again!
Aliddy Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Yes, I loved him completely, but if we ever disagreed, it was me that always said sorry...............it was never his fault. I became so unhappy, with his moods and distance from me, yet when I questioned it.......he just said " it's you not me " We went on holiday ( I took him to paradise !!! as I thought it would help ) He was moody the whole time, we got back, I told him, if this continued, then we would have to call it a day ....... he walked out !!!! Then said it was because " I didn't make him feel secure " WTF ???? So I wrote an epic letter, and I mean epic to which he replied" it was not fair to send that letter " not fair !! it had only been a week !!! The real reason, I know....... he was back with his ex !!!! So the n/c began, and I thought he will contact me ............ but he never did ...............................so now I think ..... my instincts were right.................. Quite simply he didn't love me but didnt have the guts to tell me !!
jackmerridew Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Thanks for this thread. My ex is insisting that she keeps contact, and had drunk dialed me at least three times since we broke up on July 4. Finally when she called me last night to tell me that she's pregnant (and seeing other people, not seriously though), I just got fed up and told her that she can't call me like this anymore because it's really hindering my progress. She keeps talking about us being as individuals, and she can't let me do my own work in finding myself. Because honestly, no contact was working pretty good for me too. Like the original poster said, I went from obsessing over her to just thinking about her several times a day, which I accept as inevitable since we lived together for a whole year. But then I find myself thinking about other women, other prospects, focusing more on my job and enjoying other hobbies like videogames and running. So when she calls, it pretty much makes me relapse and wonder whether there's still a future for us. And the more I talk to her, the more unlikely it becomes, even though the more I think about her. God I wish love didn't have to be this way.
funkybassplayer Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 is it your kid? If not tell her to leave you alone so you can get on with your life.
jackmerridew Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 is it your kid? If not tell her to leave you alone so you can get on with your life. Well she's not 100 percent certain. And once she is, the doctor will tell her how long she's been pregnant. If it's more than three weeks, than I know it's not mine, since she was away for all of June and half of May.
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