directx Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 True, but my point was that he's assuming he has an attractive FACE in addition to a fit body. Yeah, you were clear on your point. I don't know why I want on my tangent. That was a good observation btw.
playabum17 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I so agree with this! AMEN! Guys who don't give me the time of the day because of my weight.....I don't even bother with. If they can't see past a scale, then thats their loss. I like you spunk!
Star Gazer Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Yeah, you were clear on your point. I don't know why I want on my tangent. That was a good observation btw. No worries. While I prefer a particular body type, it's not nearly as important to me personally (speaking strictly about appearances here) as his face. The face is what you wake up to every morning. The face is what you look at while chatting over dinner. The face is what you focus on when taking those "take it yourself by sticking your arm out" picture. A body can easily be changed through diet and exercise.
LN99 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Yeah, face and personality are two of the biggies.... They are hard/ almost impossible to change. I just hate the assumption that bigger girls will have sex with ANYONE for the sake of having sex. Yes, some are like this....as well as many SKINNY women. But a lot of us aren't. I just hate it when men try to play us.....thinking we are vulnerable...and tell us what they think we want to hear, and then use us, and drop us. To iwalkalone: If you want to be with a skinny physically fit girl, then do so. Don't come on to bigger girls if you're not genuinely interested.
directx Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 No worries. While I prefer a particular body type, it's not nearly as important to me personally (speaking strictly about appearances here) as his face. The face is what you wake up to every morning. The face is what you look at while chatting over dinner. The face is what you focus on when taking those "take it yourself by sticking your arm out" picture. A body can easily be changed through diet and exercise. You see, I think I have an impressionable mind. Its like, when I like someone, suddenly I am attracted to all women with the subjects type of body, face, etc. Like, if I find myself attracted to a girl with long brown hair, suddenly long brown hair is IT. Guess I am simple minded. A don't know if a body can be 'easily' changed. But yes, a body can be changed much easier than improving one's face, which is extremely difficult to do
Topper Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Even though I'm a skinny guy, 5'10" and 165 pounds, it seems that whenever I meet a woman who is interested in dating me she is overweight. I like skiing, hiking and mountain biking, and I'd like to meet someone who can so these things with me. I do meet attractive, physically fit women, but they are almost always in a relationship, or once I start asking them out or flirting with them, they claim to be busy or stop talking to me. If it weren't for overweight women, I'd never have sex. Why is it perfectly OK for women to avoid dating me because they rather have someone more muscular and cut, yet if I'd like the women I date more fit, attractive women, I'm superficial? I walk I have no idea where you live. Since you seem to enjoy all the sports that i like I assume you live in a mountain environment. here is what i have fund from living in and around ski towns. The picking are slim! In most ski town there are like 10 guys to every woman. So those woman that like to ski and ride mountain bikes and do all those things are most likely already with their man. or they have at least 10 other guys barking at their door. Now here is one more thing to think about a lot of gay woman are attracted to those same sports. So your dating pool gets even smaller in a ski town. I'm like you I don't want to date someone who does not enjoy the things that I like to do. She does not have to be super skinny. She has to be healthy. I was seeing a woman that was a size 10 and she looked good. She was slighty big and healthy. She could kick my butt on a mountain bike. You are right about the heavy ladies being more aggressive. I was on an on- line dating site for a while. Most of the woman who made first contact were overweight. I have also looked at craig's list and found the woman that are looking for a sexual relationship only or a friends with benefits will say they are Big Beautiful Woman.
LN99 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 You are right about the heavy ladies being more aggressive. I was on an on- line dating site for a while. Most of the woman who made first contact were overweight. I have also looked at craig's list and found the woman that are looking for a sexual relationship only or a friends with benefits will say they are Big Beautiful Woman. Wow, this is interesting. I'm not aggressive (quite introverted actually) nor looking for just sex. I'm also bigger.. Where does that leave me? Seriously that is such a stereotype that bigger girls are more aggressive and easy. I tried the whole online dating thing. Just out of curiousity I guess. Most of the time it was smaller skinny guys who were contacting me on those online sites....along with average and bigger guys. And yes, they contacted me first. Nothing struck my interest though. I guess I'm just the type who needs to actually KNOW the person and their personality before I become interested. Thats why I guess online dating isn't my thing. But I figured it was worth a shot.
Topper Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Just go over to criegs list and check out the woman who are looking for a cook up most are big woman. That is not saying that every big woman is just looking for sex.
dbtmarley Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Man it must be you... I am a lean mean 155 myself and I never had any problem getting women of all shapes and sizes. I keep getting visions of Shallow Hal while reading this thread... I wonder why:confused:
Author IWalkAlone Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 Just to clarify a few points... I'm not a woman. I don't buy dresses, so I don't know how to look at a woman and tell a size 28 from a size 12. I will say that I consider Paris Hilton to be too skinny, and I think Kate Winslet in Titanic was hot. I disagree with those who call her fat. I do like women to have curves. There are some women who are bigger than the image the fashion industry promotes who are physically fit, can go on hikes and ski. Those women do appeal to me. If she can enjoy a 10 mile day hike in the mountains with me, then she is fit enough. Also, for me, personality compatibility and sex drive are more important than looks, but compatibility for outdoor activities is a factor. A few years ago someone told me I was being "too picky," so I lowered my standard to "might have sex with me." While I did have more sex, I found myself in the awkward position of someone expecting to have a relationship with me that I could not be long term with, so I stopped. Now it's back to the same-old where the one's I'm interested in (bigger than Paris, thinner than Rosie) are not interested in me. I don't live in a ski town, but there is a ski town about an hour drive away where I like to ski & mountian bike.
Author IWalkAlone Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 Also, I don't think than big women are more sexually agressive. It's that a certain percentage - less than 50 percent - of women of all shapes sometimes like to have non-attached sex for it's own sake. Thinner hot women like this just hook up with whatever guy is nearby, while the BBWs have to place ads. The BBWs also have lower standards for the guys they'll hook up with.
Author IWalkAlone Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 Man it must be you... I am a lean mean 155 myself and I never had any problem getting women of all shapes and sizes. That's what I can't figure out. I keep getting visions of Shallow Hal while reading this thread... I wonder why:confused: For every Shallow Hal there's a Shallow Holly.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 The last thing you should do is lower your standards. You need to be true to yourself. You're right, women can be shallow just as much as men. But what some people view as shallow, is really just our high standards. At my age I am not going to go out with someone who isn't active or who I am not attracted to. Overweight and active is fine for me but overweight and sloppy is not. I have a long list, but I also have made improvements to myself and I think because of this I CAN be picky. Have you had a chance to talk to any of your close personal friends about what they see about you?
allina Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 If larger women hit on you they may look at you as someone in their 'league' Do you think thinner women, ones that you would ideally choose are out of your league? From your post you seem to feel like big omen are easier to get, or do you just not try hard enough for women that may be more work to win over?
JeanQueen Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 here is what i have fund from living in and around ski towns. The picking are slim! In most ski town there are like 10 guys to every woman. So those woman that like to ski and ride mountain bikes and do all those things are most likely already with their man. or they have at least 10 other guys barking at their door. Man, where is this town! I think I need to move there. My city is pretty much the exact opposite. About 10 girls for every decent guy. To the OP: I've seen this mentioned already, but I am concerned that you might treat these women as sex objects more than you are aware of. Girls can pick up on this and thats why the "upper crust" ladies aren't interested. I can smell this attitude on a guy from a mile away and don't give them the time of day when they approach me. I have a heavier friend who does sleep with this type of guy becuse she has very poor self esteem over her body. This is what I think is happening with you. Do you actualy want a relationship with someone or is it just about sex (I'm not saying this is bad, just wondering)?
playabum17 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Also, I don't think than big women are more sexually agressive. It's that a certain percentage - less than 50 percent - of women of all shapes sometimes like to have non-attached sex for it's own sake. Thinner hot women like this just hook up with whatever guy is nearby, while the BBWs have to place ads. The BBWs also have lower standards for the guys they'll hook up with. Wow! Those are quite the statements!! Um, yeah...I don't know where to begin, so I'm not. I'm a newbie so maybe I shouldn't start flaming someone on my second day. Let me just say, if I were available you are definitely below my standards...and not because of your 'size'.
jcster Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 while the BBWs have to place ads. The BBWs also have lower standards for the guys they'll hook up with. Wow! Those are quite the statements!! Um, yeah...I don't know where to begin, so I'm not. I'm a newbie so maybe I shouldn't start flaming someone on my second day. Let me just say, if I were available you are definitely below my standards...and not because of your 'size'. Yeah...I think I'm going to have to check out of this thread, or I'm going to get booted off of here pretty quick. What an incredibly ignorant and insulting comment. Just...ugh!!!!!!
allina Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Yeah...I think I'm going to have to check out of this thread, or I'm going to get booted off of here pretty quick. What an incredibly ignorant and insulting comment. Just...ugh!!!!!! I don't understand why these threads enrage people so much. It may not be a proper or PC thing to say but it is somewhat true. Women with attractive bodies (healthy weight) are more desirable and in demand than overweight ones. This may be hurtful to some people but it is true. Seems like admitting that looks matter in a sexual/physical/romantic relationship makes you Satan here on LS, sorry but that's human nature.
playabum17 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I don't understand why these threads enrage people so much. It may not be a proper or PC thing to say but it is somewhat true. Women with attractive bodies (healthy weight) are more desirable and in demand than overweight ones. This may be hurtful to some people but it is true. Seems like admitting that looks matter in a sexual/physical/romantic relationship makes you Satan here on LS, sorry but that's human nature. Looks matter, but it's also a personal choice on what you find attractive. I am overweight and my boyfriend thinks I am very sexy. I've lost weight since we got together, but when we first started dating it didn't seem to matter to him, because he either saw past that or it didn't matter to him I'm not sure, but he saw my beautiful green eyes and my sparkling personality. Yes, looks matter, but it's also a personal thing of what a person finds attractive. What I found offensive is for walkalone to suggest is the only way a larger person to find a date is to place an ad and the only way they could have sex is to lower their standards. I did not place an ad and I did not lower any standards. My boyfriend is very attractive, in my eyes, and I am so lucky to have him in my life. He is a great guy, btw he is what I would say is 'proportional height and weight'
allina Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Looks matter, but it's also a personal choice on what you find attractive. I am overweight and my boyfriend thinks I am very sexy. I've lost weight since we got together, but when we first started dating it didn't seem to matter to him, because he either saw past that or it didn't matter to him I'm not sure, but he saw my beautiful green eyes and my sparkling personality. Yes, looks matter, but it's also a personal thing of what a person finds attractive. What I found offensive is for walkalone to suggest is the only way a larger person to find a date is to place an ad and the only way they could have sex is to lower their standards. I did not place an ad and I did not lower any standards. My boyfriend is very attractive, in my eyes, and I am so lucky to have him in my life. He is a great guy, btw he is what I would say is 'proportional height and weight' Good post PB17, you sounds like you have a great relationship. I know not all women who are larger settle or go for what they can get. I was just trying to express my annoyance at the fact that people get flamed for admitting that they are turned off by certain physical features of the opposite sex. Also, I'm not saying it's "right" but a lot of guys do seem to prefer small/skinny women making it harder for thicker women to find someone to who she will be the top choice.
Turquoise Waters Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 The thing is men don't have to be attracted to the woman to have sex. They will pretty much have sex with any willing woman to get their rocks off. Women, on the other hand, have to be attracted at least. So you shouldn't be having any problems, original poster.
LN99 Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Whoever posted that about BBW needing to post ads to get a date or have sex really doesn't have a clue! Sure, some post to get a date and lower their standards, but NOT ALL! I am bigger and am single, but I'm far from Desperate to do all that. In fact, if I DON'T find what I am particulary looking for in a man, I can definately and WILL definately do just fine without. I do get asked on dates, but I'm not one to jump at the opportunity only because it's there. If I'm not feeling it, I definately will NOT lead a man on. I'm particular in ways and have standards. If a guy can't live up to them, then oh well... I've been brought up to be pretty independent. I do for myself and family and friends and look out for myself. I don't rely on a man to do it for me. Right now, my number one focus is my career. That comes first. As for my sex life, I've had quite a fine one with people I was in long term relationships with in the past. I never had to "beg". In fact, I've had plenty of guys "begging" me (including ex's). But, I respect myself too much to sink to that level. (For all those that do all that, thats your business). I don't feel the need to post an ad searching for something anymore because I feel that if its worthwhile, it will come to me. I know plenty of guys(yes even physically fit guys) who are with bigger women. They adore them, treat them like queens, and give them the love and respect they deserve. I hope one of THOSE guys finds me. (because they are rare and genuine.) Until then, all other men can just f*ck off. Point being is that everyone has a type and BBW don't need to be dissed!
Turquoise Waters Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Whoever posted that about BBW needing to post ads to get a date or have sex really doesn't have a clue! Sure, some post to get a date and lower their standards, but NOT ALL! I am bigger and am single, but I'm far from Desperate to do all that. In fact, if I DON'T find what I am particulary looking for in a man, I can definately and WILL definately do just fine without. I do get asked on dates, but I'm not one to jump at the opportunity only because it's there. If I'm not feeling it, I definately will NOT lead a man on. I'm particular in ways and have standards. If a guy can't live up to them, then oh well... I've been brought up to be pretty independent. I do for myself and family and friends and look out for myself. I don't rely on a man to do it for me. Right now, my number one focus is my career. That comes first. As for my sex life, I've had quite a fine one with people I was in long term relationships with in the past. I never had to "beg". In fact, I've had plenty of guys "begging" me (including ex's). But, I respect myself too much to sink to that level. (For all those that do all that, thats your business). I don't feel the need to post an ad searching for something anymore because I feel that if its worthwhile, it will come to me. I know plenty of guys(yes even physically fit guys) who are with bigger women. They adore them, treat them like queens, and give them the love and respect they deserve. I hope one of THOSE guys finds me. (because they are rare and genuine.) Until then, all other men can just f*ck off. Point being is that everyone has a type and BBW don't need to be dissed! I agree with you. I am getting tired of these types of threads. I don't really like the "lowering your standards" for bigger sized women. I mean, these are people we are talking about. So if you only date skinny women, that means you have higher standards? I am not overweight, I just find this whole thread really sad.
LN99 Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I agree with you. I am getting tired of these types of threads. I don't really like the "lowering your standards" for bigger sized women. I mean, these are people we are talking about. So if you only date skinny women, that means you have higher standards? I am not overweight, I just find this whole thread really sad. Same here. I'm sick of seeing these types of threads on here about once a month. It's also sad that some men see bigger women this way. Newsflash: Us bigger women will do just fine without shallow guys in our lives. Also, if you don't find bigger women attractive, thats fine. Just don't waste our time or mess with our emotions in the process. Oh yeah and try dating someone more your "type" instead of complaining and trying(but not succeeding) in making the rest of us here (who are bigger) feel like crap.
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