jackmerridew Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Things got worse, before the proverbial poop hits the fan. She calls me to tell me it's important. She thinks she's pregnant. Her period is two weeks late, she's been having bad cramps, she's become bloated and nauseous lately, all tell-tale signs. We made love precisely the night before I broke up with her (because she cheated on me and I couldn't get over it) and it was unprotected. She's been on the pill, but I guess it didn't work this time. This, and she has the nerve to bother telling me that she's been dating other people. Honestly I was doing fine once again, hanging out with a lot of friends and looking forward to a lot of things, before this bombshell hit me. I don't even know what to do. I told her to get a pregnancy test, and she's seeing a doctor next week. That, on top of the stress of her seeing other people after she screwed me over. God guys I'm so lost and depressed right now.
funkybassplayer Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 could be some elses and shes trying to dump on you-be very careful.
Author jackmerridew Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 could be some elses and shes trying to dump on you-be very careful. That's the first question I asked, and she said she's positive it can't be anyone else's. Now I don't trust her, but I would hope she at least has the maturity to make sure she doesn't just pin this on me and not anyone else. I dunno. If it's true I'd have no choice but to abort it... not an easy decision mind you. I'm still hoping for the best and that she isn't. But the symptoms seem to really add up...
funkybassplayer Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 All words mate, she slept around, could be anyones. I would not trust her one bit. Just the fact she slept around, god-get shot right now man!
Chinook Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 That's the first question I asked, and she said she's positive it can't be anyone else's. Now I don't trust her, but I would hope she at least has the maturity to make sure she doesn't just pin this on me and not anyone else. Not trusting her is EXACTLY where you should be right now. DO NOT do anything. If she is pregnant and it is yours then you will deal with that. Other than that, you don't have to do anything else. Don't let her screw with your head. For what it's worth though, I highly doubt she's pregnant. The pill can be effective even if she missed one or two days. I dunno. If it's true I'd have no choice but to abort it... not an easy decision mind you. I'm still hoping for the best and that she isn't. But the symptoms seem to really add up...Um Jack... the question of abortion isn't yours to answer I'm afraid. If she decides to keep the child then she does. There's not a damn thing you can do about it.
underpants Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 Things got worse, before the proverbial poop hits the fan. She calls me to tell me it's important. She thinks she's pregnant. Her period is two weeks late, she's been having bad cramps, she's become bloated and nauseous lately, all tell-tale signs. We made love precisely the night before I broke up with her (because she cheated on me and I couldn't get over it) and it was unprotected. She's been on the pill, but I guess it didn't work this time. This, and she has the nerve to bother telling me that she's been dating other people. Honestly I was doing fine once again, hanging out with a lot of friends and looking forward to a lot of things, before this bombshell hit me. I don't even know what to do. I told her to get a pregnancy test, and she's seeing a doctor next week. That, on top of the stress of her seeing other people after she screwed me over. God guys I'm so lost and depressed right now. Go to the drugstore. Purchase a test. Go to her house. Ask her to take it right there. At least find out if she is indeed pregnant before anything else. She is capable of cheating, so lying might not be too out of her realm. She might be feeling guilty and grasping at straws. Using tactics to entice you back into her life. If she is pregnant then yea, there is a chance is might not be yours. Cross that bridge when and if you have to. Refrain from being intimate with her. Good luck.
Author jackmerridew Posted July 20, 2007 Author Posted July 20, 2007 Um Jack... the question of abortion isn't yours to answer I'm afraid. If she decides to keep the child then she does. There's not a damn thing you can do about it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I would impose my decision over hers, no matter how much I may resent/love her right now. She's already told me that she would abort it, so that's why I'd have no choice but to follow along, even though it'd make me feel guilty. That is, of course if she is pregnant and if it is mine. I haven't heard from her so I assume she hasn't taken a test yet. She's so freakin' irresponsible. I don't understand how someone could be such a good student, yet so stupid.
YellowLioness Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 I would like to tell you a personal story, but it relates 1oo% to what you're going through now. Before my boyfriend and I met, I knew he had a child by a 23 year old girl in Florida whom was married. The precise situation was that a week after she had moved in with him, she discovered her pregnancy. My soon-to-be-boyfriend tried to do the right thing and assumed it was his with out much of a fight. The relationship between my now boyfriend and this girl turned sour, and she moved back in with her husband. My boyfriend, being the boyscout do gooder kind of guy that he is, paid $900 worth of child support every month for almost a year WITH OUT a paternity test. This girl was a truly terrible person, and I don't say that about many people. She played her husband against my boyfriend because she needed to feel wanted in that twisted way, and she used his desire to be a good father to her child against him and would with hold visitation if my boyfriend didn't pay her extra child support that month. Basically, he was paying $900 a month to support this girl and her husband with out knowing the child was his for over a year. He didn't want to drag her through court because he "was sure it was his." Sorry to repeat myself, it just still stuns me that someone could be as truly intelligent as he is and fall for such a little scam artist. Then, I come in to the picture. You can probably guess what happened next. After a great deal of drama and tear shed, she finally produced a paternity test for this baby. Guess what? It was her husband's child. My boyfriend will never get that money back (and trust me, we could have used it) because he paid it to her in "good faith." The courts considered it a "gift" to this girl. All of his friends desperately had attempted to convince him to get a paternity test, but he ignored it because he wanted to do the "right" thing so badly. Anyway, moral of my rant: get a pat test. If she refuses, tell her that you'll pay her when the courts tell you to. Another interesting tidbit is that this girl is apparantly pregnant again, and her husband has left her. I guess he's tired of playing Russian Roulette with her ovaries.
Author jackmerridew Posted July 20, 2007 Author Posted July 20, 2007 I would like to tell you a personal story, but it relates 1oo% to what you're going through now. Before my boyfriend and I met, I knew he had a child by a 23 year old girl in Florida whom was married. The precise situation was that a week after she had moved in with him, she discovered her pregnancy. My soon-to-be-boyfriend tried to do the right thing and assumed it was his with out much of a fight. The relationship between my now boyfriend and this girl turned sour, and she moved back in with her husband. My boyfriend, being the boyscout do gooder kind of guy that he is, paid $900 worth of child support every month for almost a year WITH OUT a paternity test. This girl was a truly terrible person, and I don't say that about many people. She played her husband against my boyfriend because she needed to feel wanted in that twisted way, and she used his desire to be a good father to her child against him and would with hold visitation if my boyfriend didn't pay her extra child support that month. Basically, he was paying $900 a month to support this girl and her husband with out knowing the child was his for over a year. He didn't want to drag her through court because he "was sure it was his." Sorry to repeat myself, it just still stuns me that someone could be as truly intelligent as he is and fall for such a little scam artist. Then, I come in to the picture. You can probably guess what happened next. After a great deal of drama and tear shed, she finally produced a paternity test for this baby. Guess what? It was her husband's child. My boyfriend will never get that money back (and trust me, we could have used it) because he paid it to her in "good faith." The courts considered it a "gift" to this girl. All of his friends desperately had attempted to convince him to get a paternity test, but he ignored it because he wanted to do the "right" thing so badly. Anyway, moral of my rant: get a pat test. If she refuses, tell her that you'll pay her when the courts tell you to. Another interesting tidbit is that this girl is apparantly pregnant again, and her husband has left her. I guess he's tired of playing Russian Roulette with her ovaries. Good story, and I will take that to heart. Once we determine she is actually pregnant, I will either demand a paternity test or wait until Family Court tells me I need to pay for the abortion. Because believe you me, I desperately need all the cash I can now. I'm sorry your boyfriend had to go through with such heart and headache. But what goes around comes around. If she is pregnant again and her husband has left (rightly so, it seems he was getting tired of playing pawn to her games), she would be a single mother of two. Her life as she knows it is gone, and unless she really bucks up for self improvement, her life will be one of hardship. And welfare!
Chinook Posted July 21, 2007 Posted July 21, 2007 Good story, and I will take that to heart. Once we determine she is actually pregnant, I will either demand a paternity test or wait until Family Court tells me I need to pay for the abortion. Because believe you me, I desperately need all the cash I can now. Jack, I really wish there was some way to make this easier my friend but there isn't. Just do what you have to do and pay what you have to pay. Either way, this female needs to stay out of your life. You need to be able to heal. Once this chapter is closed, keep the no contact rule and heal yourself man. 'kay..?!
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