ICS Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I have broken up with my ex-girlfriend of 5 years for a little more than half a year now. Of course.. I still think about her alot, and two months ago I contacted her via facebook, but she did not reply to any of my messages. When I woke up this morning, I noticed there was a new text message on my phone, and to my surprise.. it was from her.. a simple "hi". I checked the details and realized that it was sent last night, so I must've missed it. Anyway, i replied and said hello back, telling her that I didn't get her message until this morning because I was asleep since I had to get up early for work today. That single message from her made me very happy, and I was looking forward to a reply from her all day, but there was nothing. A few hours ago I called her too, but I only got her voicemail... with her recorded voice.(which was also the first time I heard her voice in 6 months) I am not looking to get back together with her. However, I do miss her and think about her every waking day, and would be very happy to talk to her again. My life is a little better now than the last time I posted because I found myself a few very good friends that I now spend most of my time with. Yes, I know I shouldn't over-analyze anything, but I just want an opinnion on what her intentions are. My friend thinks that she is trying to probe my brain and see whether or not I still care about her, and tells me that if I ignore her, she might start to worry and finally talk to me for real. What's everyone's take on this incident?
Slippy72 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I had a similar experience not too long ago, my ex got back in contact with me and (unlike yours) we actually spoke for a while online for a bit. Then, nothing. Suddenly I don't hear from her again and it's been a while now. In my case, it was her making herself feel better. I think she missed me momentarily, contacted me, felt a little bit better for it and then moved on again. I'm not however saying it's the same in your case, but some people are wiser than you think and will go to any lengths to make themselves feel better. Like I said though, might not be the case at all in your situation but the best thing you can do is stay away for now. Stop the calls and attempts to contact her, you've only been kind up to now, any more efforts to speak to her might make you look desperate. So steer clear for a while, if she contacts you, you take it from there, if she doesn't, then she's pretty selfish and not worth the hassle. Hope that makes sense, don't take what I said as total fact, just my opinion! Hope it helps!
tinke Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 i would have to agree with slippy. there had been a time i did the calling for exactly the reason slippy mentioned, i simply missed him greatly on that day. we seem to fantasize and keep alive the best of memories, however, there was more. after the conversation, i recalled the other side of him also. not that there was anything horrible, but, i realized why we were apart. not to rain on your parade, maybe she was just testing the waters, or missed your voice, or knew you know her and needed some reasurrance, comfort. who really knows...but, i would feel if there is to be more contacts, she would have to initiate. i would keep going on as you had been. 6 mo. is a long time...congrats! keep the focus on you!
AriaIncognito Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 My ex always did that. He'd contact me when he was feeling lonely. Then i'd boost his ego, and he'd be back to not speaking. You're doing great, having gone 6 months already. Keep up the good work and keep looking forward.
kimba Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 i have to say that i agree with what everyone has said. I think that when she first texted you "hi" it was to test the "how much is he missing me" factor. She would have known you called or texted back and i think that is all the info she wanted. (just the factthat you did respond is enough) Don't get sucked into this again. If she texts you again, ignore it, or at least don't reply for a few days, and don't give her any excuses like" i was in bed" because you don't owe her any explanation. I don't know the circumstances of the break up, but did she break it off? It sounds like you have done really really well after only 6 months. BUT you are still vulnerable. Just be careful and stay strong. k
Author ICS Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 i have to say that i agree with what everyone has said. I think that when she first texted you "hi" it was to test the "how much is he missing me" factor. She would have known you called or texted back and i think that is all the info she wanted. (just the factthat you did respond is enough) Don't get sucked into this again. If she texts you again, ignore it, or at least don't reply for a few days, and don't give her any excuses like" i was in bed" because you don't owe her any explanation. I don't know the circumstances of the break up, but did she break it off? It sounds like you have done really really well after only 6 months. BUT you are still vulnerable. Just be careful and stay strong. k You are right, she's not worth my energy or time right now. I should focus my life on better things and break free from the past. I was the one who broke up with her because she never cared about what I wanted in the relationship, and always put her friends before me.. among other things. However, the real reason I still think about her and want to talk to her is because she has a sad life (she was adopted and she also suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder).. and I always wanted to make her happier, and still do.. but I cannot keep my sanity if she keeps playing games with me.
funkybassplayer Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 You are right, she's not worth my energy or time right now. I should focus my life on better things and break free from the past. I was the one who broke up with her because she never cared about what I wanted in the relationship, and always put her friends before me.. among other things. However, the real reason I still think about her and want to talk to her is because she has a sad life (she was adopted and she also suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder).. and I always wanted to make her happier, and still do.. but I cannot keep my sanity if she keeps playing games with me. This just goes to show how easy it is to undo all the hard work that you put in by no contact. If we take the step to do it, it has to be for ever, or at least until there really is no emotion what so ever, and you wont care if you hear from her or not.BE strong, you will get back on track again. P.s i had the same, she put her ex hubby and her friends b4 me............why b/c she was selfish to what i wanted, and only cared about her clubs, and drink. Leave them to it.
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