rlhirish Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 My Ex and I have been divorced for three years now and even though I’m doing better I’m still having a hard time throwing away everything we have been through in our 18 year marriage. My Ex had severe depression the last five years of our marriage (attempted suicide three times) and basically was unavailable in our relationship. I had a hard time dealing with this and started drinking as an escape or for self medication. (Was never abusive in any way because of it, just distant) I always drank but it was always sociable. My Ex drank to but only on occasions. Anyway the drinking was the final straw that broke the camels back and we got divorced (mutual agreement) About a year after are split she wanted to get back together and I told her that I would also like to give it a try but was learning the skills to be a better mate (really for my next relationship) and needed more time and have been doing so through counseling and reading on a daily basis about relationship. Than about six months after this she was seeing some one else and fell in Love, that lasted about a year, maybe she didn’t believe I would change or was just lonely at the time she wanted to get back together.. The thing now and what I’m having a hard time understanding is she parties all the time. She closes the local dives down two to three times a week (and she appears happy doing this) I never see her without a beer in her hand and all her new friends are regulars at the bars and she sees nothing wrong with what she’s doing. What I don’t understand is one of the reasons she divorced me was for the same thing that she is now doing, she’s actually worse than I ever was. The thing that bothers me the most is I know her like the back of my hand and know that this is not the type of person she is and never has been and deep down I think she knows it to and I’m afraid she is now partying for an escape or self medication or maybe she did change but that would be hard for me to believe knowing she is not this type of person, at least to this extreme. I still Love her and am hoping there is a slim chance that we will get back together one day. Even if there is no chance I can accept that and move on but I do still care for her and want what’s best for her so I’m concerned about her behavior. Any thoughts as to the change in her and or chances of getting back together. I know why would I want to get back together when shes like this but I'm hoping it's just a phase. She has said that she has seen a change in me Note: We have to have contact because of kids but I never once have said anything about getting back together or how I feel.
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