confused2007 Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 Just like most LS'ers, I was hurt. To be specific, cheated on. To be more specific, I walked in on it. I thought I would never rid my mind of that image. Heartbreaks hurt, no matter what the situation. It's been over a month since my heartache and I'm here to explain what I learned and pay it forward. I hope it can help someone. My epiphany: Time heals nothing. It's what you do with your time that helps you recover. After my breakup, I felt my mind was tortured and mangled to death, like many of you. But wait. This is a POSITIVE thing. We survived/surviving a very difficult thing. Use this experience to empower yourself. When you face the next difficult situation say, "I went through_______, so I know I can handle _______." I smoked a pack 1/2 of cigs a day for 7 years - highly addicted. Since I went through this awful breakup I felt I could handle anything and still recover. So I quit smoking. Laid my cigs down and walked away. Tortured my mind some more b\c I knew I could handle it. 2 weeks later the cigs are slowly leaving my thoughts and I'm feeling great. Not to mention I'm exercising. Running a mile every other day - not bad for a smoker of 7 years. Be active. Idle time is depressed time. Step away from LS if you keep discussing the same feelings b\c reopening them over and over isn't going to further your personal development. Come back to LS when you're better. Closure. Closure doesn't come from your partner, there's no such thing. You have to accept that it's over and the closure will come from you. That's when the healing process begins. Meet people / go on dates. I don't care if you're shy. I was too. You won't quit being shy until you can accept rejection. Go out and find a woman/man that you're attracted to and go up to her/him (Knowing that you're going to be rejected) and say the first thing that comes to your mind. <= Great way to overcome shyness. There are many more techniques to coping, but these were the most important for me to advance. I hope someone can find it useful.
purety1 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I am going to copy your coping ideas and post it on my refrigerator lol... I feel so discouraged at times.... I need to get my butt out of the house and stay busy but I always find an excuse to be in the house....thanks for the ideas..... I will try to use them
purety1 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I am at the point of torturing my mind... i guess ..going over and over... my past....I need to shake all of it... but i feel happy one minute and sad the next.... wanting to just relax at my house.... when I should be out enjoying life...arghh
Slippy72 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 purety1, I'd recommend you to do whatever makes you feel better. Don't feel guilty if you're not out the house, if you enjoy relaxing indoors, do it until you feel better. That's what I'm doing. However, different people have different methods, I like being with my family at times like this, others will seek to go out more than ever to make themselves feel better. All depends on the person I think. Great list though, the point on closure is in my opinion the most important of all.
Author confused2007 Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 purety, I agree with Slippy in do what makes you feel better. However, if you're torturing your mind by replaying the past while lying around, then get out of your place. Think to yourself, "What did I do for fun before I met the ex?" Then, go do it. If you drink, go out to a random bar you've never been before. DON'T get drunk, but suck a couple down and meet strangers. I don't care if you're a people person or a loner, this WILL help. I wish you the best.
kimba Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I am at the point of torturing my mind... i guess ..going over and over... my past....I need to shake all of it... but i feel happy one minute and sad the next.... wanting to just relax at my house.... when I should be out enjoying life...arghh ooohhh, i feel exactly the same, exactly the same. There is something to be said for doing what you want to do, and not what you think you should be doing. Listen to your body, listen to your heart.
Recommended Posts