lonelygirl185 Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 I was wondering if any of you have read this book and what your feedback was on it???
luvstarved Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 I bought this book and did not read all of it, but think I checked it out pretty thoroughly. I did not feel that it really applied to my situation because it was more about discrepancies in libido than ... um, redirected libido. If your problem is a genuine difference in desire levels, then it could be very useful, I have heard good things about it...but for me it was useless because my H and I both have sturdy libido, it's just that my H chose to address his on his own...
ntocitilop Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 It did not address my situation in which my wife is virtually unable to be sexual due to a painful medical condition. Almost nothing does. Even people of Religion simply give me a deer in the headlights look. The book for me is usless.
StayClose Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I was looking at this book and at Passionate Marriage and choose to read PM instead. What does solution does SSM offer for the low-libido partner?
luvstarved Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 I think the upshot of it was understanding each other's differences and trying to be more mutually empathetic and giving. For example, the lower libido person could be sexually giving for the sake of their partner's happiness - provide oral sex or whatever - and make it a point not to act like it is a chore but something done out of love. The higher libido partner can treat the lower libido partner with understanding and not resent and blame, and can show appreciation for what they do get, etc. You have to start off with some degree of mutually WANTING to solve the problem though. Presumably if people have a healthy relationship of give and take, the issue would not even exist, they would naturally work to please each other. A lot of low libido partners just don't care and have a very tough time getting as "worked up" about the issue than their horny mates! A lot of high libido people "don't get" that anyone could not be as interested and get very resentful and insulting or go off thinking they are justified in having affairs...
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