rumours83 Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 basically i have posted a couple of times regarding my SO and his female friends - none of them are in our social circle, and they are all his exes. I have had issues with two of them before, one was his proper ex girlfriend but from 10 years ago (who cried when he told her he was getting married) and the other was a girl he had just slept with because she kept bugging him, he said it was a mistake, but she is way too overly sexual and behaves inapropriately around him, he realised this (with a little help from me) and cut her out for the sake of our relationship. Now another one has popped up. Is this common? all three are currently single and know he is getting married. Are they trying to see what kind of girl gets married or something? basically i said i wasn't jealous of this particular girl, because he hasn't seen her in ages and only calls once in a while to catch up and we don't see her as part of our social circle, which is fine by me. now she has become his friend on facebook, and keeps sending him cute little messages and stuff which piss me off. i have told him before that "friends for life" will be interested in and respect our relationship, there is no way he can have a friend of the opposite sex that can't do that, neither would i have a male friend that didn't respect my partner or our relationship as that is just asking for trouble. Especially when they are not part of the social circle as i see meeting up with them as akin to a date. how do I tell him I am feeling jealous about this girl too? again she seems to have no interest in getting to know me but wants to come to our wedding and I don't really want her to be there besides if she is i am not exactly going to get a chance to know her, i feel she just wants to be there to see him and check me out. The other two girls I was right about, and my partner admits to deliberately ignoring or overlooking their motivations for the sake of having a friendship with them, he also admits to be naive in this situation. am I overreacting about this one?
supertouch Posted July 24, 2007 Posted July 24, 2007 ask him why he feels the need to contact these girls. if he gives you a spiel about your having to accept the fact that he has female friends, then dump him. if it's obvious these girls aren't true friends, he's just looking for female attention elsewhere and will probably cheat on you.
Ocean-Blue Posted July 25, 2007 Posted July 25, 2007 You should talk to him. Tell me how you feel (w/out sounding like a nag). But before you do, try to think about WHY you don't want them to be friends. Not all friends need to or should be in the mutual social circle of a couple - it's healthy, I think, to have friends outside of this circle. He may think you are overreacting... I'm not suggesting that you are, but think about WHY you feel the way you do before approaching him. That said, you will be marrying this man. If your concerns are valid, he should listen to you (and try to reach some sort of compromise). Good luck to you.
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