onefootinthegrave Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 Hi, I am from the UK and I am in my mid 30's and Male. I have not wrote in forums like what I am about to do, so bear with me please. Right.. I have been dating this girl who is 25 for 1 month now and I have not been in a relationship where I have felt things for a while now. But with her everything is 100% perfect for me. I constantly think about her, Have butterflies in my stomach. love seeing her and I am pretty certain I have or am falling in love with her. She says she feels exactly the same as well. We phone and text (SMS) each other all the time when we are not together. Always speak to each other before we fall of to sleep on the phone. NOW,,,she has 5 days ago gone down south to hook up with her best friend (female) and they have gone on o hoilday together for 2 weeks. in the last 5 days, she has called me once and text (sms) 5 times. Why is it things suddenly changed when she goes on holiday or when she is with her best friend ? She spoke to me other night and sounded so different to how she talks when alone to me. Perhaps I am reading to much into this, I am just scared of getting hurt, I miss her so much, words cannot express how I feel. I think I do love actually after writing this..But why does she not contact me. I have loads of texts from her before she went away saying how much she will miss me etc. Perhaps a female perspective would help. I dont know thanks
frezzle Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 You sound like a lovely guy (in the last post I put up, I was beginning to think they don't exist!) and it sounds like you have begun a really good, mutually reciprocal relationship with a lovely lady. Well done! This is a good thing and you must remember that. I don't think your gf is behaving inappropriately by texting you 5 times in the last 5 days she's been away and only calling you once. People do behave a little differently when they're on holiday, it's nothing sinister, it's almost part of the point of going away. A real advantage of taking a trip is the perspective it gives you on yourself and your own life. I think that you're just missing her. You sound very close and have become accustomed to communicating very regularly with her, that's all. If you were away somewhere nice, you might not be thinking about her as much as you usually do. There would be so many things to see, do, etc. It wouldn't mean you felt any differently about her, though. Please don't let her think you feel resentful in any way that she has, literally, become a little distant. She has only gone on a holiday I presume she had planned before you even met. Start planning how you are going to welcome her home when she gets back. You never know, the space between you might end up bringing you even closer than you already are.
Author onefootinthegrave Posted July 18, 2007 Author Posted July 18, 2007 Frezzle, thanks.. thanks a lot your right, and deep down I know it. Im 35 and she is 26 (but got her head screwed on). I just fell for this one so so quick. I was engaged some 6 years ago and that finished. Since then I have had relationships, but nothing i have been bothered about really, nothing to speak of that "HIT" the mark "Ticked" the box's, Felt "Good" you know ? This girl, i would intruduce to all my friends and family in a heartbeat. I just miss her, yes the holiday was planned B4 we met, I have no problem about her going on holiday, thats fine. I just miss communicating with her like we did before she went away and I fully understand she is busy, I quess the next 12 days will pass quick enough anyhow, what with work etc. As for planning something when she gets back, well 2 days after she gets back is her birthday so I have got a few little presents and have booked a romantic meal at a good local restaurant that has live music. Thanks
frezzle Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 Aah, that's the spirit! It's nice to read about such a healthy sounding thing. Maybe you can one day tell her how silly you got, missing her so much when she first went away! Make sure you fill the next 12 days with stuff that you love doing: going to the cinema, out with your mates, whatever it is, so she can catch up with what you've done, when you next see each other, too. 12 days isn't long to wait for someone that special. Take care, F
shadowplay Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 Aw, you guys sound so cute. I don't think there's anything at all abnormal about the amount she's been in touch with you. It sounds like she's communicated with you pretty much every day. I know how you feel. It's hard when a great relationship is just beginning and one of the partners goes away on vacation or business. But just think how elated you'll both be when you see each other again! I know this sounds silly, but reading this kind of thing restores my faith in love and healthy relationships. Good luck!
Author onefootinthegrave Posted July 18, 2007 Author Posted July 18, 2007 Had a text from her couple of hours ago, just saying hi, how are you, what you up to etc, so all good... Your right, give her some space on her holiday. Not that it is easy of course, I want to talk to her. But we'll talk soon enough, Time flies!
BabyPhoenix Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 How many times have you texted or called _her_?
Author onefootinthegrave Posted July 18, 2007 Author Posted July 18, 2007 I have not called her at all. She called me monday evening last. I only reply to her text's as well.
Author onefootinthegrave Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 She text'd me loads last night and called me for ages, so its me, im a numpty Im Smiling
Tenorman Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 OFITG, I'm not advocating playing games, far from it, but make sure you give her a chance to miss and yearn for you as well. Stay busy, tell her what you're doing in your own busy life, don't text her too much, tell her you feel excited for her that she is on holiday and having a great time (as opposed to the sometimes gloomy sounding I miss you so much) and don't fret if she doesn't contact you for a day or two or even three (ie the original concern of this post) because when you go away on holiday you tend to want to forget about everything back home or are having too much fun to even think about it. So let her have her space and fun in freedom, because I guarantee that later at night her thoughts will return to you and because you haven't bombarded her with texts she'll have had the chance to breathe and miss you and the joy of re-contact will be tenfold... I can relate to your post because my sweetheart is coming back from holiday on Sunday after 3 1/2 weeks and whooee it's going to be hot!
Author onefootinthegrave Posted July 20, 2007 Author Posted July 20, 2007 so she rang me again late last night, telling me how much she misses me and wishes that as much as she is enjoying the holiday, she wishes she hadn't of gone now. Also when she gets back in to the UK wants to come back home 3 days earlier now to see me. So all good....Im happy, Just lovely to hear her voice,
shadowplay Posted July 20, 2007 Posted July 20, 2007 aw, you guys just keep getting cuter. :bunny: I know what you're going through because this guy I just started dating went away to NY on vacation this week. I really miss him.
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