cr8sea Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 I realized today that what is bothering me about this guy ive been seeing is that im not sure if he sees "us" with potential for long term, so i cant let myself care for him as i would if i thought he did. How do i go about asking him about what he thinks about us without freaking him out? we've only seen each other for a month, and although i dont want to rush things, i do want to know im not wasting my time with someone who just sees me as someone to have fun with, with no potential. Any advice on how to go about doing this? asking him or leading him to talk about it without being too pushy and sound needy???? Last time i said something about whether he thought we would be together in december, he responded with "its up to you" what does that mean??? Im so confused, help!!! thanks in advance
Krytellan Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 I'm not trying to get sympathy, but just understand how difficult it is for a relationship style guy. Even if and when we do feel like we are with someone that we see a long-term potential with, we have to be careful about expressing because there are so many weird women out there who freak out when you "commit too soon". Guys who say things like this too soon are seen as clingy. It's only been a month. Haven't you read the hundreds of posts here about how uncool it is to commit to someone verbally too soon? After 1 month he has no obligation to talk like that with you and, in fact, would be told by at least 75% of advice givers to not go there yet. You need to be fair and let guys feel things out. If people were better at accepting others' expressions of emotion there wouldn't be an issue. Unfortunately, there are way too many uptight people who see premature expression of devotion as weak and off-putting.
Tyra Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 I would take things slow. It's only been a month, you know. Just keep your guards up, meaning the protection for your feelings. He probably do want to be in a long lasting relationship with you.When he said it's up to you, he probably said that because in his mind he knows he wants to, he just want to make sure that you'll never change,and the decision is in your hands.But don't stress the issue.Just let things weigh out in the relationship.Once when you both be in the relationship for quite a bit, you both will get the picture that you want to be a long relationship. Funny thing is, I was in your boyfriend shoes three years ago with my man. I said "It doesnt matter".Three years and we're still strong.
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