DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Avoid a guy after a first date and not tell him she is not interested in a email or over the phone. I always thought it was something younger woman did after a date like 19-24, not 29 and older.
Turquoise Waters Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 If She Is Not Interested In You, What Is She Supposed To Do? She Either Avoids Your Call, Or Lets You Know That She Isn't Interested In Some Way. Both Are Perfectly Acceptable. It's Not A Crime To Not Want A Second Date. It's Not Rocket Science.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 If She Is Not Interested In You, What Is She Supposed To Do? She Either Avoids Your Call, Or Lets You Know That She Isn't Interested In Some Way. Both Are Perfectly Acceptable. It's Not A Crime To Not Want A Second Date. It's Not Rocket Science. But I just thought MATURE WOMEN would just let you know so that the guy would be left in the dark and wondering what the hell happened
Touche Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 But you're not left in the dark. You now know she's not interested, don't you? I wouldn't keep dwelling on it or her maturity level. Move forward.
Turquoise Waters Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 But I just thought MATURE WOMEN would just let you know so that the guy would be left in the dark and wondering what the hell happened No, after one date, no one's obligated to say anything to anyone. A date is just a date. Now if you had been in a steady relationship, yes, it would be appropriate to let you know that she wasn't interested.
Turquoise Waters Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 But I just thought MATURE WOMEN would just let you know so that the guy would be left in the dark and wondering what the hell happened No, after one date, no one's obligated to say anything to anyone. A date is just a date. Now if you had been in a steady relationship, yes, it would be appropriate to let you know that she wasn't interested.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 No, after one date, no one's obligated to say anything to anyone. A date is just a date. Now if you had been in a steady relationship, yes, it would be appropriate to let you know that she wasn't interested. But in my case I never really been that good at dating so I like to know why she is not interested so I can see if I can improve certain things. Most of the time I'm just left guessing what I may have done wrong and never get any kind of closer.
Touche Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 But in my case I never really been that good at dating so I like to know why she is not interested so I can see if I can improve certain things. Most of the time I'm just left guessing what I may have done wrong and never get any kind of closer. How can we know that? We don't know you. We don't know her. It could be any number of reasons. It could be a million things and it could be one thing. We can't know that. But I'll try to help by asking you some questions. How was the conversation? Was it smooth or stilted? Did you laugh together? Was it awkward or easy? Did you seem to have things in common? Did you sense any physical attraction on both sides? How did you meet? Also, forget about closure. We almost never get it from another person. It has to come from within..from you.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 How can we know that? We don't know you. We don't know her. It could be any number of reasons. It could be a million things and it could be one thing. We can't know that. But I'll try to help by asking you some questions. How was the conversation? Was it smooth or stilted? Did you laugh together? Was it awkward or easy? Did you seem to have things in common? Did you sense any physical attraction on both sides? How did you meet? Also, forget about closure. We almost never get it from another person. It has to come from within..from you. That's why I need Patti Novak, she is a matchmaker who send you on a date and then calls you back in her office and let's you know why the female doesn;t want a second date if that's the case. But the conversation i felt was good, she never stopped smiling, and told me I had a cute dimple, and asked me about my sex life and my family life so how am I, a overweight guy who has not been on a second date in YEARS, supposed to feel when all that happens? I just knew I impressed her and that we were going to see each other again but that wasn;t the case and I decided no more dates until october
Touche Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 That's why I need Patti Novak, she is a matchmaker who send you on a date and then calls you back in her office and let's you know why the female doesn;t want a second date if that's the case. But the conversation i felt was good, she never stopped smiling, and told me I had a cute dimple, and asked me about my sex life and my family life so how am I, a overweight guy who has not been on a second date in YEARS, supposed to feel when all that happens? I just knew I impressed her and that we were going to see each other again but that wasn;t the case and I decided no more dates until october You don't need another person to tell you anything. Look within yourself. There's a REASON why you haven't had a second date in years. First of all, no offense, but I just read your other thread and frankly, your attitude stinks. That attitude I'm quite sure comes across. You ask what the guy gets out of taking a date out and paying. Weird. That's what a gentleman does. And who says you can't talk to about yourself on a date? I don't get you at all. My H took me out on dates and paid for the first few dates. After that, I wanted to contribute and did. He never thought a thing of paying before that. We were having such a good time together that it wasn't something he focused on. I guess he thought taking me out was better than sitting home alone or something..go figure? Ok, so why do YOU think, deep down, that you're not getting second dates? Are you insecure about your weight? Then do something about it. But my guess is that this has nothing at all to do with your weight but with your attitude.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 You don't need another person to tell you anything. Look within yourself. There's a REASON why you haven't had a second date in years. First of all, no offense, but I just read your other thread and frankly, your attitude stinks. That attitude I'm quite sure comes across. You ask what the guy gets out of taking a date out and paying. Weird. That's what a gentleman does. And who says you can't talk to about yourself on a date? I don't get you at all. My H took me out on dates and paid for the first few dates. After that, I wanted to contribute and did. He never thought a thing of paying before that. We were having such a good time together that it wasn't something he focused on. I guess he thought taking me out was better than sitting home alone or something..go figure? Ok, so why do YOU think, deep down, that you're not getting second dates? Are you insecure about your weight? Then do something about it. But my guess is that this has nothing at all to do with your weight but with your attitude. Currently working on getting my weight down but it's not that big of a deal. My weight is only a big deal if I don;t mention it over the phone before meeting. My phone voice I'm told makes me sound thin so If i never say anything then the girl is expecting a man who is in shape and I may appear a lot bigger in her eyes.
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I read the other thread too and I think it's odd that you are so focused on finding a PRETTY girl when you yourself are overweight. You should bring to the table what you expect from the other person.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 I read the other thread too and I think it's odd that you are so focused on finding a PRETTY girl when you yourself are overweight. You should bring to the table what you expect from the other person. I'm overweight and handsome and i want a medium to plus size women who has a nice face also
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 I read the other thread too and I think it's odd that you are so focused on finding a PRETTY girl when you yourself are overweight. You should bring to the table what you expect from the other person. and always remember, no matter what a person looks like, they always have a choice of who they want to be with
alphamale Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Avoid a guy after a first date and not tell him she is not interested in a email or over the phone. I always thought it was something younger woman did after a date like 19-24, not 29 and older. everyone does this regardless of age...it may occur a bit more with younger folks, however. Its never easy to tell someone you don't like them or that they're not your cup of tea.
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 everyone does this regardless of age...it may occur a bit more with younger folks, however. Its never easy to tell someone you don't like them or that they're not your cup of tea. Even harder to tell them specifically what you didn't like (as he said he wanted to know) as a "learning exercise."
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 and always remember, no matter what a person looks like, they always have a choice of who they want to be with I am not sure what you mean here? Generally speaking, attractive people have more choices and less attractive people have fewer, possibly none.
Star Gazer Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Avoid a guy after a first date and not tell him she is not interested in a email or over the phone. I always thought it was something younger woman did after a date like 19-24, not 29 and older. I'm confused. Are you saying you would rather her tell you at the end of the first date that she's not interested in seeing you again? Really? I've never told someone in the middle or at the end of a date that I didn't want to see them again. To me, that would be rude. Sometimes a woman needs time to think about whether she wants to go out on a second date with you, particularly if your attitude could use improvement. Perhaps she needs time to reflect. To see if you contact her again, and if so, how long and how interested YOU seem. To date someone else. To investigate your criminal background (haha! kidding...kinda).
Lizzie60 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Avoid a guy after a first date and not tell him she is not interested in a email or over the phone. I always thought it was something younger woman did after a date like 19-24, not 29 and older. If I'm not interested in meeting the guy for a second date... I tell him the first time... no stupid games... I'm straightforward... and that's what I expect from guys too.
jcster Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I think silence says it all. I hate hurting people's feelings, and I certainly don't want to have to answer a questionaire at the end of the date. Sometimes I don't even know that I don't want to see them again until the next time they call - sometimes it's just a gut reaction.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 everyone does this regardless of age...it may occur a bit more with younger folks, however. Its never easy to tell someone you don't like them or that they're not your cup of tea. Not for me, I have told women-"sorry it's not going to work" as soon as I realized they were not pretty in the face. Why waste time when I can be home doing the things I love doing
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 I am not sure what you mean here? Generally speaking, attractive people have more choices and less attractive people have fewer, possibly none. What I mean is even though unattractive people have fewer choices, they still have a choice of whether or not to be with someone they find attractive. I don't care how ugly a person is they don't have to settle down with King Kong-lol
Topper Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 How many times do we see post here from woman who have gone out with some guy then wonders why he never calls back? Most of the replies are that the guy is some kind of jerk and to forget about him. Like date analyzer I do find it rude to just not say thanks but no thanks. it is a sign of being immature to simply leave someone guessing. I have called woman and or e mailed saying I just did not think we had much in common. Some woman Have e mailed me with the same polite type of response. If I don't get a return email or a call back I just chalk it up to bad manors. How
Lizzie60 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Not for me, I have told women-"sorry it's not going to work" as soon as I realized they were not pretty in the face. Why waste time when I can be home doing the things I love doing I've said that mannny times... 'It's not going to work'...but then I get the next question: 'Why not, what makes you think it's not going to work'... we just met, you don't know me'... give me another chance'. What do you answer to this DA? and Why waste time when I can be home doing the things I love doing what is it you love doing (by yourself)... hummm????
jcster Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Not for me, I have told women-"sorry it's not going to work" as soon as I realized they were not pretty in the face. Why waste time when I can be home doing the things I love doing Good thing you love being at home...because you're going to spend a lot of time there with that attitude. What's wrong with getting to know someone just to expand your horizons a little bit? What's wrong with taking a chance to see if first impressions hold out? With your approach to dating, I think you would be happier with a magazine than a human. At least you'd get your money's worth.
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