doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 So you can get a free meal off me, I see Your attitude about possibly being fleeced out of the vast sum of one meal comes across very defensive and possibly petty. It's going to make it hard for you to meet and win a girl over with this attitude. If you're interested in a girl, like I said, chances are you're not the only one. Why should she choose you? Like it or not, it's your job to sell her on why she should choose you, and if you're this mean early on, why would she? The way I see it, time is money, and you are paying for her time and consideration for the position of lover, boyfriend, whatever. Or you could stay home and jerk off. Up to you.
Turquoise Waters Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Your attitude about possibly being fleeced out of the vast sum of one meal comes across very defensive and possibly petty. It's going to make it hard for you to meet and win a girl over with this attitude. If you're interested in a girl, like I said, chances are you're not the only one. Why should she choose you? Like it or not, it's your job to sell her on why she should choose you, and if you're this mean early on, why would she? The way I see it, time is money, and you are paying for her time and consideration for the position of lover, boyfriend, whatever. Or you could stay home and jerk off. Up to you. LOL - I have to agree.
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 well it's a little different when it comes to blind dating, in that situation neither person knows each other so it would make sense to go dutch. Why would I just automacially pay for a women's meal i just met? Now if i met a woman in public and she gave me her number then I would pay for the date of course. But if it's a blind date i'm not paying for anything until it's confirmed that the sexual attraction is MUTUAL Ok, this is fair enough. I don't think women automatically assume that they are going to be paid for; I generally offer to pay my share, especially in situations like these. I think I said earlier that if you had never laid eyes on her, going to a cafe is fine, as long as you frame it nicely and not in a dismissive manner.
dbtmarley Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 With today's gas prices would it be to much to ask her to drive if I pay for dinner?:D:D
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 Your attitude about possibly being fleeced out of the vast sum of one meal comes across very defensive and possibly petty. It's going to make it hard for you to meet and win a girl over with this attitude. If you're interested in a girl, like I said, chances are you're not the only one. Why should she choose you? Like it or not, it's your job to sell her on why she should choose you, and if you're this mean early on, why would she? The way I see it, time is money, and you are paying for her time and consideration for the position of lover, boyfriend, whatever. Or you could stay home and jerk off. Up to you. Well if i'm PAYING for a woman's time, then I can just call a NEVERMIND!!!!-lol
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 that's why i'm convinced most men dislike going on dates. Have you ever considered that women hate going on dates too, possibly even more so than men? Watching TV with a pint of ice cream often sounds far better. Generally, men have higher standards of what a woman should look like in order to be appealing. She has to be facially pretty, have a good body, not be too old-looking, etc. Can't you understand that a lot of us aren't really up for being evaluated that way by every guy who asks us out, especially if we've never met? Ever consider that we agonize over what to wear, from jewelry to clothes to makeup, trying to look great without being overdone, nice undies, body hair removed, etc. All you have to do is throw on some jeans and do your hair. For me, it's always nervewracking. Even if I am pretty sure the guy will like what he sees, there's always the chance he may not, and then what will that do to my fragile self-esteem? Especially being rejected by someone who wasn't up to my standards in the first place, which he probably isn't if he's quibbling over buying me dinner.
Trialbyfire Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I see nothing the man gets out of it, he pays and have to see if he will get called back and then must ask all about her and her likes on the date and say NOTHING about himself. So what exactly is FUN for a man going on a first date? Most women don't eat much on first dates because they're nervous enough as it is. I recommend that you don't bother dating anymore because it's way too expensive...
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 Have you ever considered that women hate going on dates too, possibly even more so than men? Watching TV with a pint of ice cream often sounds far better. Generally, men have higher standards of what a woman should look like in order to be appealing. She has to be facially pretty, have a good body, not be too old-looking, etc. Can't you understand that a lot of us aren't really up for being evaluated that way by every guy who asks us out, especially if we've never met? Ever consider that we agonize over what to wear, from jewelry to clothes to makeup, trying to look great without being overdone, nice undies, body hair removed, etc. All you have to do is throw on some jeans and do your hair. For me, it's always nervewracking. Even if I am pretty sure the guy will like what he sees, there's always the chance he may not, and then what will that do to my fragile self-esteem? Especially being rejected by someone who wasn't up to my standards in the first place, which he probably isn't if he's quibbling over buying me dinner. well girls have been DANCING on my self esteem for years now and it has stopped yet. So that's why it's important for me to take another break from dasting and my plan now is to become a GIRLFRIEND to a pretty women who is a GUY. Then we can hang out, talk on the phone, and she can tell me about her dates and then i can't start learning about what women want. Now i just have to FIND that pretty girl to be friends with so she can talk to me about other guys
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I see nothing the man gets out of it, he pays and have to see if he will get called back and then must ask all about her and her likes on the date and say NOTHING about himself. So what exactly is FUN for a man going on a first date? I don't think that's true at all. Getting-to-know-you banter should be two-sided. Yes, it's traditionally the guy who asks the questions, but that shouldn't stop you from volunteering information about yourself. A lot of women are just a bit passive that way. If you get the ball rolling, you may find that it helps her feel more comfortable in asking you things about yourself. A lot of times, your date is probably just nervous and self-conscious because she knows she's being sized up. Going into it with the attitude "What am I going to get out of this?" is a really bad foot to start off on and can only lead to negative outcomes, because I'm sure you show it in the way you speak and act while on the date. Maybe you're just going out with some really self-absorbed women? Unfortunately, that's just part of dating, and you're not going to find a keeper right off the bat, but that shouldn't cause you to assume every girl is this way. I'm sure you weren't everyone's cup of tea either, based on this thread. Again, I think you are getting her time and consideration, and you should be glad to be out and actively dating. She could have said no.
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 well girls have been DANCING on my self esteem for years now and it has stopped yet. So that's why it's important for me to take another break from dasting and my plan now is to become a GIRLFRIEND to a pretty women who is a GUY. Then we can hang out, talk on the phone, and she can tell me about her dates and then i can't start learning about what women want. Now i just have to FIND that pretty girl to be friends with so she can talk to me about other guys Maybe that's your problem right there. Your priority seems to be to find a pretty girl. You haven't really spoken of anything else you are looking for. Pretty girls are known for being self-absorbed and having a sense of entitlement. I understand you need to feel sexual attraction to want to pursue something, but you should look at the entire package and possibly scale back on the physical component. How old are you, btw?
alphamale Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I mean why go to a restarunt and spend money on dinner and eat in front of someone I don;t know and don;t know if we are going to see each other again? Isn't going to a restarunt more of a second date thing? These days apparetly people are meeting "for coffee" on the first date. A short 1 or 2 hr date where the total bill comes to like $6.50. I've never done that but I guess its big with the younger set.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 I don't think that's true at all. Getting-to-know-you banter should be two-sided. Yes, it's traditionally the guy who asks the questions, but that shouldn't stop you from volunteering information about yourself. A lot of women are just a bit passive that way. If you get the ball rolling, you may find that it helps her feel more comfortable in asking you things about yourself. A lot of times, your date is probably just nervous and self-conscious because she knows she's being sized up. Going into it with the attitude "What am I going to get out of this?" is a really bad foot to start off on and can only lead to negative outcomes, because I'm sure you show it in the way you speak and act while on the date. Maybe you're just going out with some really self-absorbed women? Unfortunately, that's just part of dating, and you're not going to find a keeper right off the bat, but that shouldn't cause you to assume every girl is this way. I'm sure you weren't everyone's cup of tea either, based on this thread. Again, I think you are getting her time and consideration, and you should be glad to be out and actively dating. She could have said no. One mistake i made before the date was saying out loud on the phone-"That if I meet a woman on a blind date and don;t feel the attraction I'm going home because I don't want to waste my time" So from me saying that her expectations of me were HIGHER and then she saw this fat guy with his shirt tucked in coming toward her on the date when she probably expected me to be physically flawless when she saw me going by how I was talking on the phone. So in the future I will not say-"I'm leaving if she is not cute" I will just keep it to myself
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 Maybe that's your problem right there. Your priority seems to be to find a pretty girl. You haven't really spoken of anything else you are looking for. Pretty girls are known for being self-absorbed and having a sense of entitlement. I understand you need to feel sexual attraction to want to pursue something, but you should look at the entire package and possibly scale back on the physical component. How old are you, btw? I'm 32 and I focus on the personality after the physical on dates.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 These days apparetly people are meeting "for coffee" on the first date. A short 1 or 2 hr date where the total bill comes to like $6.50. I've never done that but I guess its big with the younger set. I want that girl to mail me a $5.00 money order so I can get my money back since she doesn;t want to see me again-lol
shadowplay Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Have you ever considered that women hate going on dates too, possibly even more so than men? Watching TV with a pint of ice cream often sounds far better. Generally, men have higher standards of what a woman should look like in order to be appealing. She has to be facially pretty, have a good body, not be too old-looking, etc. Can't you understand that a lot of us aren't really up for being evaluated that way by every guy who asks us out, especially if we've never met? Ever consider that we agonize over what to wear, from jewelry to clothes to makeup, trying to look great without being overdone, nice undies, body hair removed, etc. All you have to do is throw on some jeans and do your hair. For me, it's always nervewracking. Even if I am pretty sure the guy will like what he sees, there's always the chance he may not, and then what will that do to my fragile self-esteem? Especially being rejected by someone who wasn't up to my standards in the first place, which he probably isn't if he's quibbling over buying me dinner. You speak the truth. I find dating (as a woman) to be totally agonizing. I get the same nerves that I do before an important job interview. There is so much pressure on women to look a certain way, and I always feel so exposed sitting opposite a strange guy -- feeling his eyes evaluating me. Dating only gets fun after you know the person likes you. The first date never is.
McFadden Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 What are like Denny's and Norm's considered? Is that a restaurant or cafe? Is it acceptable to go to fast food on a first date? If you aren't rich going to a fancy restaurant on the first date doesn't seem practically. It depends on what class the people are in lol, I guess taking the girl on an expensive date will make an impression that youre wealthy and don't mind spending money and that is what a lot of women are impressed by. Not necessarily money but sucessful, not stingy ect. I hate getting to know you banter, people trying to make impressions, calculating every move down to who pays and how they pay. It sickens me. I always hear the guy smiling fakely and thinking the whole time 'ok what do I have to say to get laid as soon as possible' while the woman is thinking 'how much money can I squeez out of this one before having to put out.' Because that is the case with a some people (not the people here though, obviously most of the people here actually care about relationships.) Anyway I don't really date.
Trialbyfire Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Now I'm curious to know what happens if you get a g/f and it's Christmas. Do you like...suggest...an exact dollar value for both of you to spend? What if she spends $5.00 less than the stipulated dollar value? Does she need to give you $5.00 cash back?
alphamale Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Now I'm curious to know what happens if you get a g/f and it's Christmas. Do you like...suggest...an exact dollar value for both of you to spend? What if she spends $5.00 less than the stipulated dollar value? Does she need to give you $5.00 cash back? No...cause you just specifiy and upper limit. Like max $100 or something. No ca$h rebates if you don't spend the total amt.
Trialbyfire Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 No...cause you just specifiy and upper limit. Like max $100 or something. No ca$h rebates if you don't spend the total amt. Print it on the coupon...
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 One mistake i made before the date was saying out loud on the phone-"That if I meet a woman on a blind date and don;t feel the attraction I'm going home because I don't want to waste my time" So from me saying that her expectations of me were HIGHER and then she saw this fat guy with his shirt tucked in coming toward her on the date when she probably expected me to be physically flawless when she saw me going by how I was talking on the phone. So in the future I will not say-"I'm leaving if she is not cute" I will just keep it to myself This is some stupid sh*t to say, no matter what you look like. NEVER do it again! It's not necessary for you to tell the woman everything you're thinking. Would you like it if someone said that to you? I was given this same vibe by a guy I found relatively handsome, but after I won his approval (yes, petty of me), I flatly refused to see him again. Actually, he put out a weird, superior, defensive, overly cynical vibe on our 2nd date, a real meal, albeit a cheap one, so I think that's what did it. I don't think the food has to be expensive nor the restaurant fancy, but I like to eat and I think most people do. It helps diffuse the tension and gives you something to do instead of just staring at each other awkwardly.
shadowplay Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I always hear the guy smiling fakely and thinking the whole time 'ok what do I have to say to get laid as soon as possible' while the woman is thinking 'how much money can I squeez out of this one before having to put out.' What a romantic you are.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 This is some stupid sh*t to say, no matter what you look like. NEVER do it again! It's not necessary for you to tell the woman everything you're thinking. Would you like it if someone said that to you? I was given this same vibe by a guy I found relatively handsome, but after I won his approval (yes, petty of me), I flatly refused to see him again. Actually, he put out a weird, superior, defensive, overly cynical vibe on our 2nd date, a real meal, albeit a cheap one, so I think that's what did it. I don't think the food has to be expensive nor the restaurant fancy, but I like to eat and I think most people do. It helps diffuse the tension and gives you something to do instead of just staring at each other awkwardly. I also have to remember that a woman's impression of me starts from the very FIRST EMAIL which eventually leads to the phone convo
nicki Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 If I'm going to wear uncomfortable tight jeans, high heels and a push up bra, then a guy can spring for the first meal. It's a question of generosity. I'll pay for the next date. It is also about reciprocity. But a guy won't get past the first date if he is cheap. Sorry. Personally, I don't like first dates where we sit and talk. I have too much first date nervous energy to burn. So I usually suggest hiking or go cart racing or even going to a festival. Walking and talking is easier. Even going to a sports event is good. Maybe the second date will be a nice intimate dinner, replete with high heels and push up bra. It seems more fun to talk to someone about real things. An active first date jump starts that for me.
doiask42much Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I also have to remember that a woman's impression of me starts from the very FIRST EMAIL which eventually leads to the phone convo It took you 32 years to figure that out? Wowser.
Lizzie60 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 If I never saw him before... definitely go out for a coffee...I would never ever go for a whole meal... just in case, I need to leave within the next 10 minutes.
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