zilverenvlinder Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 I had a dream about mine last night, so I feel I need to vent about it. And, by the way, I know it's long but... this is all true. I should probably write a book or something about it. So, please feel free to vent about yours here also. ; ) When I was a mere 14 years old (okay, think about all the 14 year olds you know and how young they are...my sister is 14 and I would kill anyone who did this to her..) and was a freshman in high school, I was, of course, in love with a senior. This senior was 18 and the Homecoming King, the Class President, blah blah. Let's call him Jake. I thought he was the coolest guy ever. He was gorgeous, and witty, and artsy, and just, well, cool. So imagine my utmost shock when, while in an afterschool play together, he asked me to go to a movie with him and his friends. So, of course, I told my mom all about it, and told her I was going to this movie, and he was going to pick me up. She was kind of weird about it, since I was only 14 and he was 18, but I convinced her that it was all right. So, he picked me up that night... but there was no one with him. I got in his car and he drove to this hicker-billy cornfield out in the middle of nowhere. He took off his pants and told me to give him a blow job. I'd never given one before, so I thought...well, hey, he must like me enough to have me give him a blow job, so I might as well. Then, he dropped me back off. He told me not to tell anyone. The next day, I found out that he had just started dating this very tall, beautiful senior girl a couple of weeks before. I saw them holding hands and making out in the hall, and I was crushed. So imagine my surprise when Jake called me AGAIN...except this time, he asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was watching TV. He told me I could still watch TV, but I'd have to do squats to make my butt look better. He said I'd have to do 20 minutes of squats every day from then on. He also told me to do crunches so my stomach would stay small, but I should eat more ice cream than usual so my butt would get bigger. O_O I thought it was really weird, but I didn't tell anyone about it and of course I did it. I thought he liked me or would eventually like me or other weird 14 year-old girl notions. So, every week or so, Jake would pick me up after school and drive around and snort cocaine while I gave him blow jobs. He refused to call me by my name anymore, and when I was with only him, he called me Poodle. After a few weeks, he bought a collar and leash from the pet store and I had to wear it on our "drives". (I also had to tell my mom I was going to the movies/getting coffee/etc. with him. It was a new story every time.) After awhile, he was bored with me and decided to invent a new game. First he started smacking my butt with his hand, and when he got tired of that, he moved on to a wire coat hanger and then a leather belt. Eight years later, I still have a huge gash scar on my upper leg. This went on for an entire year. He ignored me in the hallway at school. He told me if I told anyone he would come into my house with a knife and slit my throat and then slit my mother's throat. Sometimes he would discreetly call me and ask me what I was eating, and I had to tell him. If I wasn't eating enough, he told me to eat ice cream or cookies to make up for it. One time, when I was sitting with my friend in the cafeteria and eating an apple and a peanut butter and jelly, he bought two huge cookies from the vending machine, shoved them in my backpack, and sat across the cafeteria. He watched me like a hawk until I ate them both. After I ate them, he got up and walked away. He broke up with his girlfriend a few months into this, and when I saw her in the bathroom crying, I asked her what the matter was. (She had no idea who I was.) When I tried to comfort her, and told her my name, Jake called me later that night and told me never to speak to her again or he would kill me. He then called me a half hour afterward and told me I would always be his Poodle and nothing else, and I would never be anything more to anyone than just a pet. One time when he picked me up, and I was wearing my collar, I wasn't even allowed to speak. If I opened my mouth, I had to bark like a dog. The weird part was, I never had actual intercourse with him. Never once. He told me I should go have sex with some boy so I wouldn't be a virgin anymore, and then he would have sex with me. I didn't, of course. So, at the end of freshman year, after one of these trips, I came back home and my mom saw a handprint on the back of my leg (I was wearing shorts). She told me Jake was never allowed near me again or she would get a restraining order. I cried about it for weeks. (Stockholm Syndrome?) I didn't tell Jake about it, because I was afraid that if he knew my mother knew, he would kill me or do something horrible to me or her. I just stopped talking to him. I didn't return his phone calls and it was so weird...because I thought I loved him...but I was so relieved to be away from him. I was scared to death the entire summer. I made sure my mom locked the doors every night. He eventually stopped calling and emailing me. Then, he went to college in the fall and I haven't seen him since. I even forgot about it. I forgot about the entire thing for the next five years or so. It was like a repressed memory. Then I saw him in the mall and everything came flooding back. I have tried to contact him since then. I want him to suffer. He ruined my high school adolescence. I hope something horrible happens to him...but I can't find him. Weird, huh.
shadowplay Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Jesus Christ. I can't even imagine what you must have gone through. Whatever you do don't contact him (!), but if I were you I might try contacting the police and report that he assaulted you if it's not too late. The bottomline is this guy needs to be outed so he doesn't do this to other women and you need some closure.
Recommended Posts