Lonestar23 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Say you've been with this girl for 5 months and .... She don't trust you because of her previous relationship(s) - What do you do? Even after you proved to her countless times you are serious. She wants to give 100% of herself to you but she can't because she still has feelings for her ex ( but she don't want to be with him ) - She even rejected him when he wanted to her to come out - What does this mean? She need time to figure herself out because of the above question is bothering her ( She needs space ) - but don't know how long it might take. But she still don't consider you two broken up. What does this make us? She still wants to work things out if I stay in contact with her and prove that I am serious - but she won't contact me or might not even reply if I contact her till she's ready to talk to me. And if we do make plans (I) have to call her to confirm if she wants to hang out or not. And vice versa. (To me this is not how a 'relationship' suppose to be) But she still consider we are together ' not broken up '. To me it seems like it. What should I do? There is probably more but I can't think of anything right now because my brain is fried. Thanks in advance
tinke Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 from a woman's perspective, i would drop out of the "relationship" but if you are indeed interested, let her know. explain to her that this situation is unfair to you and what you want out of a relationship. then, do make it clear to her that if she decides to give it her all, she knows where to find you. don't contact her...give her the space she obviously needs right now. i would imagine you wouldn't want only 50% of her anyway...let the decision be HERS. if she does not contact you, then you know. unfortunately, her mistrust issues have to worked through by HER. you can only lay your thoughts out for her, being true to yourself. take care
Author Lonestar23 Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 I know you said " do not contact her" I understand why you would say that. But she said one of the hugest reason her and the ex didn't work out was because he gave up. Didn't contact her or anything until LATER LATER on. She said she don't want that to happen with me. Now this is confusing to me. I understand your point and hers. But I don't know what rules or if there are any to follow with this.
tinke Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 i thought she is the one who requested space. well then, you would only be honoring that. where is her initiation in all this? you wouldn't be giving up, in my opinion, because you will have already stated you care, etc., but will respect her need for time apart to think, whatever. she seems to be asking much with setting specific guidelines of communication, or does it just appear that way? the truth is...once you tell her of your feelings and back off, the ball is then her's.
Author Lonestar23 Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 i thought she is the one who requested space. well then, you would only be honoring that. where is her initiation in all this? you wouldn't be giving up, in my opinion, because you will have already stated you care, etc., but will respect her need for time apart to think, whatever. she seems to be asking much with setting specific guidelines of communication, or does it just appear that way? the truth is...once you tell her of your feelings and back off, the ball is then her's. Yeah, she was the one requesting space and she is also the one who is requesting we keep in contact once in awhile and not break up. She wants (me) to keep in touch - I guess to prove that I still care and want something out of this. I told her the same thing I don't understand how we are going to work this out. How can I give her space while keeping in contact to show her I still care. That is why I am so confused on what to do. Like right now - shes online and I am not going to IM her because she want her space. But earlier in the day I called to make sure she was ok. She txt me back stating shes a little under the weather and I wished her well.
tinke Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 sounds like you're doing the right thing then. maybe just small hellos for now. however, i would think after awhile, you will grow bored with that, needed something more from her, also.
Author Lonestar23 Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 sounds like you're doing the right thing then. maybe just small hellos for now. however, i would think after awhile, you will grow bored with that, needed something more from her, also. She is someone really special to me because she is the second real relationship I ever had since my breakup with my first love. But, yea, I do feel like I am getting the unfair treatment. Should I just do as she says? And try and hopefully be able to wait it off? Or just give up and move on? It hurts, it hurts a lot. Technically we are not broken up. Because we didn't break up but I don't get what we are really. Our profiles still states we are together - Our pictures are still up on myspace. yea and after awhile if she don't respond like she cares then I will start loosing faith and hope. Its like you go 50 and I go the other 50 to make thiings work if I go 100 all the way all the time - I don't know if I can do that.
alphamale Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 What should I do? run fast and far...this chick is playing you like a fiddle.
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