steph10 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 This sucks, i am not sure what to do. I have dated A for almost a year and a half. He is 19, I am 18 and the OW is 17. We have broken up a few times. I cheated a few times, I was drunk and the other times he was gone at boot camp. The last time we broke up was over christmas, and he called his ex RIGHT AWAY, they hung out while he was home on leave over the holidays, he had dumped me, well when he came home from baiscs we got back together. So to bad for her!! She and him talk once in a while I guess. BUT last week we were at a street dance and she was there. A could not take his eyes off of her!! I was so mad. I just saw her a few weeks ago. She was walking down the road, I called her a whore and told her I hoped she falls off her horse. All she did was laugh at me. I am very jelous of her. we look NOTHING alike. I feel like a big amazon next to her. She had all the guys checking her out. She is pretty I guess. A lives with me at my moms house, his home life was pretty bad. so I know where he is most of the time. The thing that gets mee is that his jaw dropped when he saw her, he STARED at her and was always sneaking a look when she was around, she did not even look at him. She seemed to go out of her way to ignore him. But he was getting irritated. I could tell because his friends were talking and dancing with her. He found out that one of them asked the little princess out and he wants to know who of his friends did that! She did not go out with the guy BECAUSE he was friends with A!!!! A and her had been on and off for a long time when he and I hooked up. I have heard from his friends about her, that he was nuts over her. She dumped him, I dont know why and he refuses to talk about her to me. He even at one time had her in his cell phone under a dif. name so that I wouldnt know it was her!! What is going on? does he still like her? or what?
Author steph10 Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 Just and FYI He says he is not into her at all anymore.
T-town Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Just and FYI He says he is not into her at all anymore. Of course he is says that...what else is he gonna say? He knows u will get mad if u say otherwise. In situations like these i normally trust my gut. I have a feeling yours is sayings some bad stuff otherwise u wouldn't be here. The fact that he saved her number under a different names speaks volumes. ps this guy has some sh*tty friends
Author steph10 Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 I guess I am still angry over his reaction. He is still into her. His jaw dropped when he saw her. I should have dumped him right there.
Arizona100 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Red flag... seems to me like he's at your house because it's convenient for him. Do yourself a favor, kick him out. Break up. And I am a bit uneasy about your comment about her being hot and you looking like an amazon .. if you feel like you can improve your appearance (because YOU aren't satisfied with it), go for it, go walk, diet, whatever you judge necessary. That's what I did when I got divorced (hehaaa 40 pounds lost). May I add that being at his feet, totally needee, is the last thing that is gonna be attractive? "Just and FYI He says he is not into her at all anymore" = riiiiiiight... and you buy it? Of course you don't
Mary3 Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 This sucks, i am not sure what to do. I have dated A for almost a year and a half. He is 19, I am 18 and the OW is 17. We have broken up a few times. I cheated a few times, I was drunk and the other times he was gone at boot camp. The last time we broke up was over christmas, and he called his ex RIGHT AWAY, they hung out while he was home on leave over the holidays, he had dumped me, well when he came home from baiscs we got back together. So to bad for her!! She and him talk once in a while I guess. BUT last week we were at a street dance and she was there. A could not take his eyes off of her!! I was so mad. I just saw her a few weeks ago. She was walking down the road, I called her a whore and told her I hoped she falls off her horse. All she did was laugh at me. I am very jelous of her. we look NOTHING alike. I feel like a big amazon next to her. She had all the guys checking her out. She is pretty I guess. A lives with me at my moms house, his home life was pretty bad. so I know where he is most of the time. The thing that gets mee is that his jaw dropped when he saw her, he STARED at her and was always sneaking a look when she was around, she did not even look at him. She seemed to go out of her way to ignore him. But he was getting irritated. I could tell because his friends were talking and dancing with her. He found out that one of them asked the little princess out and he wants to know who of his friends did that! She did not go out with the guy BECAUSE he was friends with A!!!! A and her had been on and off for a long time when he and I hooked up. I have heard from his friends about her, that he was nuts over her. She dumped him, I dont know why and he refuses to talk about her to me. He even at one time had her in his cell phone under a dif. name so that I wouldnt know it was her!! What is going on? does he still like her? or what? Does he know you cheated ? Sounds like he has it bad for the ex and is just using you for a place to stay. He** Yea he still likes her ! Dump his sorry b***
Author steph10 Posted July 18, 2007 Author Posted July 18, 2007 Yes, he knows I cheated. I thought we were past all that. I talked to him last night about her. He insists there is nothing going on between them anymore. that they dont talk at all. When I confronted him about staring at her, he said he was just surprised to see her, thats all. Then he said he was NOT staring at her.
jcster Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 You need to drop the jealousy right now. Regardless of how he might feel about her, you will only alienate him by being hung up about this girl. That being said, it does sound like you both are not too sure about your relationship. Are you sure you are really that into this guy, or are you just being territorial?
Author steph10 Posted July 18, 2007 Author Posted July 18, 2007 i don't think I am being territorial, I am worried, I really like him alot. When we first started dating, I heard about her, that he really liked her ALOT, and that she was the cause of his breaking up with another girl,I guess that other girl found out he was texing and talking to her behind her back and gave him the old ultimatum and he chose HER! His friends all really like her too. He will NOT say what happend, and why they broke up. When we first broke up last summer, he ran to her and they hung out a bit, then we got back together. she at that time showed up at a party and he practically drug me out of it when he saw her. I guess SHE did not know we were back together yet. I thought she was out of the pic. She was haniging out a bit with some of his friends once in a while and I found a tex to her gibing her a hard time about hanging out with them, then she backed off. then last November we broke up again, and bam, right back to calling her! When he came home at Xmas on leave, she spent ALOT of time with him. They didnt hook up, but they danced and partied, she is 'hard to get' I guess, but I was soooo angry. I wanted to scream. I guess they talked alot before he came home from basics, then when he got home he came to me. HA HA HA!! I was so happy. I thought she was gone forever. Now I wonder if I am being overly jelous, am I overracting? SHE does not appear to be interested in him, but then why did she 'ignore' him at the street dance? If she was so nice, why did she not just say hi to him? I think she is mad that he chose ME over her!! He could have gone to her when he first came home, he didnt. He came to ME! So, why did he come to me when he came home? Not her? I know they talked alot, even up to the day he left basics, I saw it on his cell phone, I read a tex from her, it said " Whoo hooo one day left" That irritated me, But he CHOSE ME!!! He did NOT call her right away, I checked his phone. I think she is pissed at him because he led her on when he was coming home and I think she is mad he didnt call her first. THAT is why she is not talking to him now. Maybe I am overreacting. But why was he so flirtty with her before he came home? They were texing almost everynite for a while up untill he came home. I also found out from his brother last nite, that at christmas time one of his friends caused them some problems, they both got mad at each other and didnt talk for a few days before he had to go back, BUT that before he left he called her and they talked for like 3hours up untill he had to leave for the airport! I don't get this. They have not talked a whole lot since he got home, very very little. I just know that she dressed to kill that nite to show him, she had to have known he would have been at that dance, she had to have known when she was talking and dancing with his friends that HE was there with me!! There is NO way she could not have! Why did he come back to me then when he got home, if he loved her so much, why not her?
Mary3 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 :eek:Sorry but your boyfriend is using you as a rebound : A diversion . He still seems to be interested in her . You are backup. As having previous experience ( if you read my boards from 03 ) you can see what happens when your new bf is still carrying a torch for his ex and usually you end up losing... Thats why before you get deeply involved you pay close attention to how much he talks about her, how much positive and negative things is he saying about her, is he still texting the girl, is he seeing the girl still, calling her... ( ALL of this BEFORE you invest your heart )
Author steph10 Posted July 19, 2007 Author Posted July 19, 2007 Well, he NEVER says anything bad/good about her at all, but he NEVER talks about her either. At least not to me. He used to have her number under a dif name in his phone, but its not there anymore. He would erase any texes from/to her before I could see them anyways, and the few times she called/texed him. were one time her car overheated. He called her back RIGHT AWAY. He did tex her a month ago and asked her if she was still mad at him. She texed back that she was never mad at him. I didnt see any more texes since then. I am just not going to worry about her, if he wanted her, he would have gone after her, he didnt he came to me. I guess i do worry about what would happen if they run into each other and i am not around. Her best friend move into a house just a few miles from my house, so I am contantly on the lookout for her car, and yes I have seen it around, and I know he will eventually to if he hasnt already. Here is my question, why did he not go after her first?
Mary3 Posted July 19, 2007 Posted July 19, 2007 This sucks, i am not sure what to do. I have dated A for almost a year and a half. He is 19, I am 18 and the OW is 17. We have broken up a few times. I cheated a few times, I was drunk and the other times he was gone at boot camp. The last time we broke up was over christmas, and he called his ex RIGHT AWAY, they hung out while he was home on leave over the holidays, he had dumped me, well when he came home from baiscs we got back together. So to bad for her!! She and him talk once in a while I guess. BUT last week we were at a street dance and she was there. A could not take his eyes off of her!! I was so mad. I just saw her a few weeks ago. She was walking down the road, I called her a whore and told her I hoped she falls off her horse. All she did was laugh at me. I am very jelous of her. we look NOTHING alike. I feel like a big amazon next to her. She had all the guys checking her out. She is pretty I guess. A lives with me at my moms house, his home life was pretty bad. so I know where he is most of the time. The thing that gets mee is that his jaw dropped when he saw her, he STARED at her and was always sneaking a look when she was around, she did not even look at him. She seemed to go out of her way to ignore him. But he was getting irritated. I could tell because his friends were talking and dancing with her. He found out that one of them asked the little princess out and he wants to know who of his friends did that! She did not go out with the guy BECAUSE he was friends with A!!!! A and her had been on and off for a long time when he and I hooked up. I have heard from his friends about her, that he was nuts over her. She dumped him, I dont know why and he refuses to talk about her to me. He even at one time had her in his cell phone under a dif. name so that I wouldnt know it was her!! What is going on? does he still like her? or what? I think you might be in denial here.......She is pretty and can get anybody...She doesn't sound like she wants your bf much anymore but likes the power of INSTANT response when she calls him or needs him. He on the other hand was DUMPED by her...and thats where YOU came in.....Do you get the picture now ? If she wants him back he will JUMP and run......please be prepared for that idea....its real....from what you have said so far... Please read the highlighted quotes above in your text...
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