How do you just. stop. thinking..?

[Chinook]

I'm tired of it all.

 

I'm exhausted with the sleepless nights and the pain of it all.

 

I just want it to stop now.

 

I've done all the take-your-mind-off-it things.

 

They don't work.

 

How do you switch the brain off from the pain of a break-up..? Huh..?

 

Cuz I've just about had it.

[directx]

Just keep waiting.

And keep living for yourself.

 

It takes a LONG time. But trust me, time does heal.

But you just have to accept it. You are going to have pain about it.

[Ruby]

It is a gradual thing!

 

You wont just feel better one day it will happen in time. You will just find it easier day by day - You have to feel the pain to appreciate the good times hun!

 

Wish you strength to realise you are too good for him anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!

[frd150]

Aww Chinook,

 

Below is something i posted on another thread earlier. It helps me sleep. Like ruby said "you will find it easier day by day". My good days outweigh my bad ones. Today... not so good. I feel you. Stay strong.

 

 

 

I have to live with the confidece that I was a great boyfriend and I am a good person. I never insulted or raised my voice to her. I just wanted to take care of her, for life. I was commited. Thats all i have right now. I did my best. Like you i was just temporarilly lame.

[Chinook]

hey, you know... that quote helped a little. I did my best. I really know I did.

[Trialbyfire]

It's a conscious effort to let go. Everytime you think about this person, tell yourself to let him go. Also, try to think of other things. If you've always wanted to skydive, this is the perfect time to try something new with an adrenaline rush associated to it.

[uniqueone]

Aww Chinook,

 

Below is something i posted on another thread earlier. It helps me sleep. Like ruby said "you will find it easier day by day". My good days outweigh my bad ones. Today... not so good. I feel you. Stay strong.

 

 

 

I have to live with the confidece that I was a great boyfriend and I am a good person. I never insulted or raised my voice to her. I just wanted to take care of her, for life. I was commited. Thats all i have right now. I did my best. Like you i was just temporarilly lame.

 

But what if you think you did something wrong? If only I hadn't gotten so angry at him.....if only I had been more sucessful.....etc.......

[nylah]

I'm tired of it all.

 

I'm exhausted with the sleepless nights and the pain of it all.

 

I just want it to stop now.

 

I've done all the take-your-mind-off-it things.

 

They don't work.

 

How do you switch the brain off from the pain of a break-up..? Huh..?

 

Cuz I've just about had it.

 

Please believe me when I tell you, I know how you feel... Things will get better I promise.

 

Ps.... be strong, girlie.... who else is going to help me figure out how to navigate thru LS..

 

feel better, okay....

[Chinook]

Please believe me when I tell you, I know how you feel... Things will get better I promise.

 

Ps.... be strong, girlie.... who else is going to help me figure out how to navigate thru LS..

 

feel better, okay....

I know Ny. Just some days are a bit shyte you know..?

[frd150]

But what if you think you did something wrong? If only I hadn't gotten so angry at him.....if only I had been more sucessful.....etc......

 

I'm not saying i wa perfect by any stretch. I often bounce around the what ifs. I will bet that everyone on here would do it differently if given another chance.

 

Something my ex told me post break up... "you cant teach an old dog new tricks". Well i replied in my needy way "this old dog is miserable without you". This frustrates me because i am a very open minded person, willing to comprimise for the greater good. But i want to make one thing clear i will never comprimise my beliefs or morals.

 

Live in the now i guess. It's all we can do.

 

Sorry Chinook. I had to answer to this one.

[Chinook]

Sorry Chinook. I had to answer to this one.

 

hey, that's no problem

 

We're all here because we're experiencing or have experienced the same things and so we can always learn from what each other has to say, whether we agree with it or not. No worries.

 

[Yamaha]

I'm tired of it all.

 

I'm exhausted with the sleepless nights and the pain of it all.

 

I just want it to stop now.

 

I've done all the take-your-mind-off-it things.

 

They don't work.

 

How do you switch the brain off from the pain of a break-up..? Huh..?

 

Cuz I've just about had it.

 

There's no way to do it if you cared about the relationship. You just have to come to the conclusion that you did your best.

[Chinook]

There's no way to do it if you cared about the relationship. You just have to come to the conclusion that you did your best.

Yeah, you're right, I think I did do my best, I'm happy about that

 

I just wish time would speed forward just a little and let me off the hook a little.

[AriaIncognito]

I feel your pain too, Chinook.

 

My ex even told me that i was "amazing" and that he didn't know how to react to be treated so well, so I know I didn't do anything wrong. Of course we always want to find fault in ourselves, because if the cause was US there's a chance we can fix it, and a chance we could get them back. But to be honest, we should try our darnest to not want them back.

 

There's a reason for the breakups, and someday we'll find out what it is. It sucks in the interim, of course, but hopefully one day we'll all be sitting around here and posting about how it all became so obvious...

[Aliddy]

What I have done, is to keep a diary, a very personal diary, which details everything I am feeling.

When I have moments of weakness, I re-read, just how badly he treated me, and when I told him, I love him and I hurt and he just ignored me.

 

I have read your posts, I also had some major concerns in the " bedroom " department, that things were far " from normal ".

 

Also, in 4 years I never met one of his friends, he is 43 years of age and not one single friend !!!! Not even from school !!!!

 

I would love to tell you of his sexual behaviour, as from what I read of yours, it was not disimilar.............

 

Stay strong Hun, I KNOW it bloody hurts.....

 

Suzanne :-)

[AriaIncognito]

Also, in 4 years I never met one of his friends, he is 43 years of age and not one single friend !!!! Not even from school !!!!

 

 

This sounds familiar. My ex didn't want to meet my friends and "wasn't ready" to meet my family because he wasn't sure of whether or not we were forever or not. Funny, I've met tons of other parents and we weren't forever either.

 

We need to learn to RUN from men like this. Men that don't have friends, or don't want to combine their lives with yours, have something to hide. And more than likely, in the long run, it won't be a healthy relationship for us.

 

My ex had very very few friends. So much that he used that as part of the reason he didn't want to be in a relationship, because he felt the need to "focus" on making new friends. So what did he do? Broke up with me and went right to another girl right away. I'm talkin the same week.

 

Don't fall for their traps. Don't stick around to find out how it will play out. Run like hell and be glad you dodged that bullet. He is now someone ELSES problem, and youre free to find someone who is willing to be with you fully.

[Aliddy]

My Ex went out with someone else, also within a week, after almost 4 years with me................and didn't look back or even once think of my feelings ..............

A life partner .............

Mutual understanding and Respect !!!!!

[AngryHeartache]

I'm tired of it all.

 

I'm exhausted with the sleepless nights and the pain of it all.

 

I just want it to stop now.

 

I've done all the take-your-mind-off-it things.

 

They don't work.

 

How do you switch the brain off from the pain of a break-up..? Huh..?

 

Cuz I've just about had it.

 

I know how you're feeling, hun. I'm in the same boat here. Some days for me are okay, even happy. Others are pure hell. Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about my ex, what he's doing, what we did together..everything. And no matter what I do it doesn't take my mind off it. But in the end it'll die down. You can't think of someone CONSTANTLY, so it will did down. I'm sorry to tell you, everyone is right. I wish I could give you some magic advice that would take this pain away, and stop you from thinking about your ex. But I can't. The harsh reality is, only time can heal this really. Other things can help, but time is the only real healer. We have to feel all these emotions. But they will go with time, and we'll be okay again We may always miss them in a way, but it won't hurt. Know what I'm saying? Just carry on with the "take-your-mind-off-it things" because they will help somewhat. And just wait for that day to come. It will probably be a lot sooner than we think. Let's hope

 

Good luck.

[Slippy72]

It's something you can't force, feeling better will come naturally. Whilst you may not believe it right now, things will improve.

 

Think about it, nobody feels bad forever do they? It's impossible to think of someone this much for a huge period of time, so that means that it will go away. When? Nobody knows, and that's why we feel all these feelings.

 

I'm in the same situation as you and I keep thinking to myself 'one day I'll look back on this and wonder what I was thinking'.

[eldiablo]

the stomach churning the lack of sleep and appetite and the feeling that no-one understand your pain, i am going through this now, still, after 2 weeks. why me i keep asking myself, i did nothing at all wrong, maybe too good for her, she was used to violent relationships. she dumped me and within 2 hours she got back with the lad who put her in hospital. try that out, for feeling like a complete arse and waste of all the time she was getting over him. i feel like a total twat! you will feel better over time and that is what it will take. life is hard, use your emotions and do some writing, songs, poems or just put your feelings in a vlog. take care and try and vent your pain more.

I'm tired of it all.

 

I'm exhausted with the sleepless nights and the pain of it all.

 

I just want it to stop now.

 

I've done all the take-your-mind-off-it things.

 

They don't work.

 

How do you switch the brain off from the pain of a break-up..? Huh..?

 

Cuz I've just about had it.

[Chinook]

you will feel better over time and that is what it will take. life is hard, use your emotions and do some writing, songs, poems or just put your feelings in a blog. take care and try and vent your pain more.

Yeah, I know. It's only 4 weeks on Tuesday... so it's still kinda raw at the moment. The feelings are up and down right now - although I do think possibly hormones have had a lot to do with the last few days. Hopefully next month will be better.

[AriaIncognito]

Every day, week, month, will get a little better. Then, there will be a day when we'll feel like we've made no progress, but try not to worry, as it seems normal to suffer setbacks. None of us are perfect.

 

I've been NC with my ex since the beginning of June. I won't lie, I've wanted to drop him a line. I've wondered what he's doing. I've wondered if he's still seeing the girl he met which caused me to go complete NC (breakup occurred a while back but we were still kinda seeing eachother casually cuz i'm dumb lol). I wonder if he thinks about me and/or regrets losing me. Etc. However, all these thoughts, they are becoming less frequent. I no longer wake up and think of him first thing, and he's no longer the last thing I think about before sleeping. There was a time when he was so important in my life that I was like that. You'll get this way too. Eventually. It just takes time, and hurt, and anger actually, to help you start moving on.

 

Eventually, you just get so angry that someone could look at you and say "eh, I can do better" that you start moving on because you can't believe how dumb you were for wasting your energy on someone who didn't hold you in as high a regard as you held them.

 

I'm getting there. Slowly, but surely. I only hope that the man I'm meant to be with, comes along soon, cuz I am also bored. :-)

[frd150]

So i decided to do some more clean up this morning And what did i find....

 

More cards and notes written by her.

 

 

They said things like Your are amazing (sound familair Aria?), I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, I look forward to forever with us. There was alot more but you get the picture.

 

Today was the first time i had shed tears in weeks. Like most of you i wonder how someone can say all these things and then in a matter of weeks just leave out of the blue.

 

It was like stirring up a hornets nest.

 

 

I still just do not know. I thought i was a good boyfriend at least from where i sit. I see how some of my guy friends treat their girlfriends and how some of my girlfriends are treated by there boyfriends. It just leaves me scratching my head how these couples stay together. Should i have been more of an a**? Shoud i have been more dominant?

 

I feel that relationships should be 50/50 and each party should be respectful of the other.

 

 

Hope you guys are having a better one than me today. Ill get over it, i have become good at that.

[Chinook]

Nope, not having a much better time here.

 

I don't know what took me so long, but my friends are only just finding out that we did in fact, split. I actually only spoke to my Mom and Dad in detail on Thursday evening. So the whole trauma of having to tell people 'it's over' isn't helping. Of course, people are trying to be supportive and helpful but nothing helps right now. I'm angry, sad, exhausted and worn out with it all.

 

I too opened a wound today. Everything he gave me, I sent back to him around 12 days ago now. Every email, text message, card and picture... I deleted or ripped up. I got rid of everything. But I could never find the birthday card he had sent me. When he was here one time (working from home) I asked him to put it away because it had been up for over a month after my birthday. He had put it in my filing cabinet at the back of the files. I don't know what I was doing in there anyhow, but I came across it today.

 

I cried my heart out. Let me tell you what that card said... on the front are two hearts interlinked and it says...

 

To the One I love

I wish I could find

the words to tell you

how much you mean to me

if I could only describe

the way I feel

when we're together

 

[then open it up to the first side]

 

...you would see how you

have given me more love

and happiness

than I ever could have wished for

but for now...

 

[open it up fully to the inside]

 

... the only way

to tell you how I feel

is to say I love you

with all my heart

 

Happy Birthday my love

 

and he added his message below...

 

"C, You know how I can mess up how to say things to you, so I bought a card that says it for me, I love you... B x x x"

Now, I don't know what to do with it. If I rip it up it will hurt me more than him. If I keep it, it will still hurt me. I'm tempted to send it back to him, but then that's breaking NC and I don't need to do that. All I see with this fcking thing is pain. That's all I'm feeling day after endless day. FFS, I know it's only been 4 weeks on Tuesday but jeesh why does something have to come along and fcking wreck it all...?! Isn't it painful enough..?

[Slippy72]

I'm tempted to send it back to him, but then that's breaking NC and I don't need to do that.

 

No way, don't do that, don't break the NC. I kept all the stuff that my girlfriend gave me for a little while, then she did some things post break-up that she really shouldn't of and that angered me, so I threw away everything she'd given me, besides one photo which I've locked away. It's helped me a great deal, the less I'm reminded of her the better and I know that if I kept them, there'd always be the temptation to start looking at them and remembering the old times.

 

It's just my opinion, that's the way I work, it really helped me ripping them all up though, but that may be to do with the fact that I was so angry at the time.