cocismanuk32 Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 My girlfriend of 9 years (we have 2 daughters) told me 2 weeks ago that she does not love me and thinks we should consider a separation. She has been under huge amounts of stress and has felt incredibly restricted and out of control for years with raising the kids and not following the career she always wanted. I think part of her is wanting to regain control over her life hence the announcement. Do any women out there have experience of what she might be going through? Is it possible that such huge stress and lack of control (and insufficient support, love and understanding from me) could have lead her to this? Can this make her love for me truly die or is there any hope that if we deal with the issues she may regain her love for me? If any women have experience of this then it could be very useful. Thanks for anyone who takes time with this
TXButterfly Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 I can speak from experience that this type of situation (working too hard without proper emotional support from spouse, or at least the "expected" amount of support) causes a lot of resentment. It did for me. Did you know she expected more support from you? She told you but you disregarded her needs? You guys were just in a rut so you ignored it? Or you had no idea. Either way, it sounds like resentments built up & either you'll be able to work through them or not at this point. I think it depends on what happened to cause the resents, how long she's been feeling that way, how much you both want to work to improve it, etc. My STBXH and I own a business together. I blamed him for MY overworking (too many reasons to name). The truth is we were both trapped, we were both to blame. We didn't put the marriage first. But we formed a lot of resentments & yes, that can make the love die if you aren't careful. But in the midst of everyday life, who thinks about "being careful"? It is really hard NOT to take your spouse for granted a bit when you're in a comfy relationship...sad but true I think. This said, I can't speak for your situation. I don't know if she is at a point where it has been too much. I'm sure other (more experienced) posters will have good advice for how you should "toe the line" or not at this point. My situation went straight to divorce very quickly after STBXH brought up the topic of splitting up. I don't think there was anything I could really do. Relationships are just HARD and I opened your thread b/c I was asking myself the same thing. There is a lot of everyday stress out there & I think both people have to be aware of that & be committed to having fun & working on the relationship in spite of that stress. Good luck & I hope you guys get it resolved. This seems like a good place to get advice so keep posting.
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