PANDA Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 I visit this website alot, but I didn't talk alot. I met a guy years ago in website. We dated more than one year, we've been together more than 10 months. We loved each other. We are very happy being together.But a few month ago. Something happened between us. He got a great new job in another city:cool:. :cool:100 miles away from the city we current live. I really don't think this is far enough to called long distant. His house still exist. I lived in here. He lived one and half hours drive away. Company pay all the hotel expenses.He wants to keep the house he has. He wants me to quit my job and move the new city with him. but he will not support me at all. I have job and condo. I hesitate to move. So he is unhappy, he said he is very busy if I am not going to move the new city. I have to move out his house and split up for short period. we will see what is going to happen then. I told him, we've together for a while, but he is not ready to commitment to our relationship.but he said to me all the time he loves me. but it is not best time to get married. because we are not married, I love him very much but I still can't just give up my work and move to new city. We had arguement, we are ready to break up, it hurts me a lot. I really don't know what I should do? move or stay?? Please give me some advice, thanks advance.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 If it's only 100 miles away, could you two get a place halfway and both commute 50 miles?
Zona76 Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 That's a difficult one. I met my husband online. We'd chatted via messenger over 2 years before we met. Neither of us rushed for meeting sooner. When we did it was a mutual decision. He moved from Canada to Florida to live here. Why? I have an aged mother in a nursing home that I wont leave. She'd have no-one else.All other siblings have moved away. Also I have a long standing job in a GOOD company with excellent benefits. (almost 20 years now)Me walking away from this would be stupid. You have a job, and a good one. You have a home(which you could possibly rent out). Is this worth it all? He'd need to be willing to support you till you found a good job. Then if things didn't work you'd not be able to return to your previous position. You both need to re-evaluate your relationship and see if this is what you want in your future.
sao2 Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Long distance is far enough to get in the way of "normal" dating. Personally 100 miles would not be too bad(depending on traffic). If you could make that drive in 1.5 hours than I would just continue doing it and trying to visit every weekend if possible. At the same time, long distance is whatever makes you uncomfortable.
catrocks Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Before he moved back to the US, we were about 1.5hrs drive away, me in Belgium, him in Germany. I never considered that to be long distance as we saw each other every weekend. Now he is in Ohio, and I'm in the UK.... that is long distance to me. But I don't think you can have one definition because everyone would feel differently about how far away you have to be to make it long distance. I hope you two manage to work it out. 100 miles is doable
Trialbyfire Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 1.5 hours away isn't that far. My old commutes to/from work each way, sometimes would get close to that amount of time, depending on the amount of traffic and if there were any problems. I do like the other member's suggestion that you find somewhere to live in between. Commuting 50 miles is not big deal. I also feel it's unreasonable that it's all about his needs, that you should quit your job, move to where he lives and basically do what he wants you to, for the privilege of being with him.
damnitname Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 100 miles?! Im 2 weeks into a Washington-North Carolina LDR with my girlfriend of almost 2 years. Its about to drive me crazy
DOA Posted July 18, 2007 Posted July 18, 2007 Long distance, to me, is when it's not very feasible or convenient to drive by car to see your SO. To me, if a plane ride is the best option, then that qualifies as long distance. When I look at the future of my relationship, my heart sinks. It just keeps getting more and more long distanced. We started off together, then had to go mid distance, now long distance, and we'll soon be heading into really long distance and then EXTREME long distance within a year. I can't even calculate in my head how many different time zones that is. Sometimes I don't really see the light at the end of the tunnel at all, because it will be a good half a decade before we can end the increasing long distance.
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