raindog Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 Hi, I'm new to these forums, though I have been reading for a little while, and I was really hoping someone could give me some advice to a strange situation I'm in. I met a girl about 4 months ago and had instant chemistry, like just clicked better than anyone I've met in my life. I was in the last stages of a failing long-term relationship, and she also had a boyfriend who she spoke unfavorably about when we first met. There was a clear attraction from the beginning, I liked her instantly and I heard through several mutual friends that she liked me too, and wished I was available. Anyways, my relationship since ended and my feelings have only intensified. We're still fairly close, but I'm not sure I get the same intense vibe from her as I used to, but again I don't have a relationship at home so maybe I'm just being more analytical. Here's the thing: her relationship is ending soon (3 weeks) because her boyfriend is leaving the country for work, which would seem great, but she herself is moving about 7 hours away in September for school. So it kind of limits my options here - I'm crazy about her, and really want to tell her how I feel, but don't really know what my "best case scenario" is. I also have no idea how she'd respond - there was a definite romantic interest in the past ("I really wish he wasn't involved with someone..") but I haven't gotten any confirmation of that recently. We're seldom alone, though I did have a great opportunity at my home a couple weeks ago but did not tell her how I felt. So with all this information, what should I do? Tell her how I feel, hope it's requited and try to have an amazing, though brief time together? Or recognize that a) she has a boyfriend, and b) she's leaving so it would all be in vain? I feel like something's gotta give here, it's really killing me! Thanks!
guilt_and_regret Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 I'm in a somewhat similar situation myself, and don't know how to handle it...
nittygritty Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 You could say something lighthearted like "You would be the perfect girl for me if you didn't have a boyfriend and weren't moving 7 hours away", "So do you have any friends to hook me up with?" You should probably leave that last part out of the conversation. I don't think the situation looks too good. If your just looking for a brief hook up, don't. Its not worth it. She has a boyfriend and is moving. You never know if your paths will cross again and she might feel used if you just take what you can get from the situation. Just be her friend for now and you will be keeping that door of possibilities open.
Author raindog Posted July 15, 2007 Author Posted July 15, 2007 I hear ya, I mean that seems like the logical thing I guess. I will have about a one month window after she breaks up with her boyfriend, and before she leaves. I know it's only going to make things really complicated if I tell her how I feel, but there's just been this tension between us for so long, I think about her constantly, and I almost feel as though if there's ANY way I can be with her, in whatever capacity, I almost have to take the risk. You know what I mean? I don't want to confuse her or make things difficult, but you ever get that feeling where you just NEED to get it off your chest and tell someone how much they mean to you?
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