dt311unity Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 So my girlfriend/former fiance went out of town for this weekend with some of her girlfriends/coworkers. They went out of state to go watch a concert and just have a girls type of weekend. She left Thursday night and we had Lunch in thursday because she was leaving right after work so I wouldn't see her again. She isn't coming home until monday night. So four days basically. Our relationship has been rough the last couple of months. We went from being engaged to now just being together because she decided that she needs to figure out how to be independent and figure out some other things with herself. I have a longer story in the Breaks and Breaking up section titled: Need direction if you want to get the whole story. Things have been getting better for our relationship in the last two weeks. She is starting to realize that she can be happy without me being there all the time and she isn't so needy anymore which is good because she was really mentally unhealthy before. Anyways, me being not controlling told her to have fun and didn't really question where she was staying or asking for one of her friends numbers in case something happened at the house and I couldn't reach her. I just figured I would give her the space that she wants and not badger her with questions. Well, I haven't heard from her at all yet. I tried calling her but her phone goes straight to voice mail which tells me it is off. Her mom and step dad called me asking where she was because they were trying to get ahold of her too. I don't know why she wouldn't call just to say "Hey we are here and having a good time. Just wanted to let you know that I'm ok." I mean that is kind of common courtesy when you are in a relationship, don't you think? I just feel disrespected that she wouldn't call. I know sometimes she forgets her phone charger but use one of your friends phones or the hotels phone. I just couldn't imagine going away for 4 days and not calling her just to let her know I'm alright. What do you guys think? Am I thinking about this too much? I guess I am just worried because I am not there with her. I can't be there to protect her and I haven't heard from her. I just hope she doesn't not call at all and come home monday night and expect me to not be somewhat upset or dissapointed with her. I want to be happy to see her when she comes home and not have to bring this up. Let me know what you think.
Author dt311unity Posted July 15, 2007 Author Posted July 15, 2007 No, I can be without her. I'm perfectly fine doing my own thing. I have plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me busy. I've been gone for weeks at a time before. I'm just saying when your in a relationship I think the other person deserves to know your alright when you go away somewhere for a few days. I guess it just bothers me because if I were to do that and not call she would have my ass on the fire when I got home. The only mental issues I have are her and how she can't figure out what the hell she wants.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 You're completely justified in feeling the way you do. But, my honest take is that she's not really into the relationship. From your description of the situation, that's what I can surmise. Talk to her about it, and let her know that while you don't expect (or want) to be joined at the hip and be together 24/7, you still expect her to be in touch with you often enough. Without established, regular communication, you two might as well be simple friends. Perhaps that is what she wants now. Either way, talk to her, be direct about the issue, and ask her to be direct about it, too.
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