Airlovinggal Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 I've haven't been on a date in a while and am having post date butterflies. Talking to my friends is helping zero so I thought I'd get some non-partisan opinions from here. I guess I should start out with how the date came to be since it's playing into my nervousness. I posted an ad on a dating website, got a response from a guy , responded back, and nothing from his end. Fast forward two months and I use a mass invite tool on a social networking site. I accidentally added him , he messages me, we start a dialogue. He says my reply to his first email went in his spam box. He claims to have found it 2 weeks later, but figured I would have already found someone since I'm a "cool,intelligent girl". So we email back and forth, just fun light hearted getting to know you type emails. I give him my number and suggest he calls sometime. He suggests he should go out sometime and that he will def. call me at some point. He doesn't call when he says he will, but he does text me, then calls the next day and is very apologetic and I can understand someone being busy. We chat briefly a few times, decide we should go out..but he have to reschedule twice.Each time due to something in his life but he's always been apologetic and makes sure to keep in contact, calls when he says he will. So finally our date night approaches, first we get held up cause he was late home due to traffic (really bad where we live), he tells me he can only stay out till like 11pm cause he's got an early morning coming up,then my sitter cancels and I have to hunt one down. I tell him whats going on he's cool with it, and I actually got to know him better since we chatted on and off during little progress reports about the sitter situation. So finally get that squared away, we finalize plans to meet at a little dive bar near me since they've got live music. We met there, we get along the instant we meet, the conversation never falters, we've got similar music tastes, lifestyles, outlooks on things, etc. We talked about everything under the sun but nothing too serious. We played a few friendly but competitive games of pinball, trivia, etc and entered him for a raffle for something he wanted they were auctioning off ( I paid for the games and raffle tickets).We had some beers and a drink or two, but we weren't drunk, just tipsy a little so we got a little touchy though nothing inappropriate.He mentioned we should do it in his neighborhood next time;and when we were discussing a sport we both do though he's more experienced than me,and he offered to give me a guest pass to the place he goes to so I can practice more. We hang out till closing time (2 something am), he pays our by then big tab and would not let me chip in or even mention it. The only weird thing that happened was I caught him going through my purse (told him to hold it while I went to the loo), though he just grinned and laughed. So we start to walk towards where I need to go to walk home and his car is parked the same way. He suggests that he give me a lift since I have heels and I have to walk far (there only tiny kitten heels and I was going three blocks. So we walk to his car, then he drives me to the sitters (two blocks from where i live), then insists on driving me home. We pass a late night joint on the corner near where I live, decide we''re starving and go eat, while there I realize my phones lost. So we go backtrack my steps looking for said phone. Never find it, give up after an hour and something. He drives me home, insists on carrying the kiddo up since she's sleep, and we talk outside my door for 15 minutes or so. He goes back to his car, comes back 5 minutes later, apparently my phone was in his car the whole time. So I give him a big hug for finding my phone, and he says he had a great time,and heads out since he's got to wake up in less than 4 hours. It's been a day and something and no call. I'm not sure if he's playing the whole waiting game or maybe he just see's me has a friend or isn't interested. Also if you're a guy have you ever looked in a date's purse and why?, if you're a gal has that ever happened to you? Anyway, just haven't dated in a while and so it's nerve wracking. Input, thoughts always appreciated.
shadowplay Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 So your date was on Friday? In any case it's too early to jump to conclusions. Often guys will play it cool and wait 2-3 days to call. In fact, I think that's pretty standard. The guy I'm seeing now waited practically a week to call once and he's definitely interested based on his behavior in our last date (tonight). So it could go either way. Did he mention anything about another date at the end of the evening? Also, when you say that you guys were kind of "touchy" could you be more specific? Did he ever kiss you? Did you get any indication from his behavior that he was interested? It's very possible that he's interested but either playing it cool to avoid seeming desperate, or feels like he's all "set" because you seem interested and can relax about getting in touch with you immediately. Btw, I can totally sympathize with your post first date nerves. I just went on a first date recently for the first time in a long time and it was a totally nerve-wracking experience...though it turned out well, and I got a call back. It's funny how dating is supposed to be fun, but in reality it's often a more grueling/agonizing experience, especially if you're new to it.
Author Airlovinggal Posted July 15, 2007 Author Posted July 15, 2007 Hi shadow, Touchy like ahe slipped his arm around the small of my back while playing pinball and lingered there, just gen. flirty touching..nothing like groping but def. not something you would do to a friend. He mentioned doing something near where he lives next time during the date, also he mentioned several times and at the end of the date that he had a great time. We kind of did that weird hug/walk thing on the way back from the pub,you know the cuddle and walk thing. I'm probably overanalyzing, he did go mountain biking 4 hours after our date ended so who knows what shape he's in. It's just the waiting thats killing me.
shadowplay Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 I'm probably overanalyzing, he did go mountain biking 4 hours after our date ended so who knows what shape he's in. It's just the waiting thats killing me. Aw, I know exactly how you feel. It's agonizing, isn't it? Usually I try to distract myself and tell myself it doesn't matter whether he's interested, but of course that never works. I think the best solution is to assume the worst case scenario. Then you'll be pleasantly surprised if you're wrong, and won't be completely heartbroken if you're right. That said I really do think he's interested from what you've described. Just two questions. Who initiated the "cuddle-walking"? And was he drunk at the time or just a little buzzed? But there are a few considerations to keep in mind. One is that online dates are notoriously flukey. If you've never had face to face contact with a person, it's really hard to say how much you'll like them in person. So there's a greater likelihood of rejection. Also, a lot of people who do online dating may be dating several people at once. I think in general people just take online dating less seriously. It's a casual sport to some. If things don't work out with this guy, I would suggest you look for a way of meeting men in person. Hobbies or something where you're doing a group activity are a great way. The other consideration is that men are just weird. It's the whole 'He's Just Not that Into You' phenomenon. You can't read their emotions as easily as women. You'll go out with a guy and think he totally digs you and then he'll suddenly go missing. I and other women have learned this the hard way. Keep us updated on how things go. I wish you the best luck!
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