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I don't want to hear how he's doing...


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Posted

I was posting on a message board...the message board where I "met" my ex. His name was mentioned by me, and then some girl on there stared saying how she spoke to him and he's doing well. Well, I was doing well too tonight. Until then. That totally started me off. I went into a rage and started bitching about him. The tears were flowing, and the pain unberable. I still feel it now. I just don't want to know how he is :( Esp. when it's apparently well. I don't want him to be BAD, but at the same time not be happy. Know what I mean? He can tell HER he's good, but he was ignoring me. Why is it so hard to hear they are okay? How can he be okay when he broke my heart, and he apparently loved me so much? I know that sometimes we say we're okay, when we're not. But I dunno....I just need to vent...

Posted

Perhaps you should avoid that message board, if it does nothing but bring back bad memories.

 

Also, by bringing up his name, you opened that can of worms yourself.

 

You can't mention a person and not expect someone who knows that person to chime in.

 

If you don't want to know how he's doing....simply don't ask.

 

-tp

don't ask, don't tell

Posted

Yeah it takes some strong willpower but if you go to that message board you're always gonna run the risk of finding out how he is.

 

It'll be really hard at first but you've gotta refrain from going on there.

Posted

I agree with the others-- stay away from that message board. You still feel for him and have mixed emotions towards him. There is a fine line between jealousy and angry vengeance. Be careful. If it must end then be strong and move forward, not backwards.

Posted
I was posting on a message board...the message board where I "met" my ex. His name was mentioned by me, and then some girl on there stared saying how she spoke to him and he's doing well. Well, I was doing well too tonight. Until then. That totally started me off. I went into a rage and started bitching about him. The tears were flowing, and the pain unberable. I still feel it now. I just don't want to know how he is :( Esp. when it's apparently well. I don't want him to be BAD, but at the same time not be happy. Know what I mean? He can tell HER he's good, but he was ignoring me. Why is it so hard to hear they are okay? How can he be okay when he broke my heart, and he apparently loved me so much? I know that sometimes we say we're okay, when we're not. But I dunno....I just need to vent...

 

I very much understand where you're coming from here. It's not like you wish ill on the person, but you are hurting and sad and hope that somehow, your ex is feeling the same over you. It hurts badly to know they are moving on and happy and whatnot. I'm currently dealing with this same realization. The best advice, for both of us, is what others said here. Avoid whereever it is you'll learn of how he's doing, and do all you can do not put yourself into situations where you become vulnerable to him.

 

Now, I dont necessarily agree on dating others and hurting them, that's just ridiculous. I was going to start dating recently, but then I realized I'm totally not ready, and I'm not the type to hurt someone just for the heck of it. I stopped talking to the guys that I was talking to, and yes we discussed why, and will date when I feel ready. Do what you can to move forward. It's so hard. I'm only about a month and a half into my latest round of no contact, but this has proven to be the hardest, because it started due to his deciding to date someone else.

 

Like someone else said, if someone looks at us and thinks they can do better, well then, they aren't worth it.

 

We'll find our matches, someday. I just hope it's sooner rather than later...

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Posted

Yeah, you guys are right. I know you are. I told myself earlier, after another big argument with his friends on there that I would not go on there. I'm going to try my hardest not to, but it's just so hard because I've been going on there for years :( I have friends on there, and I enjoy posting on it. But I also know that there are too many connections to him. He's going to be mentioned at times, and I may read things I don't want to read. Another thing is...I can't help logging in on another forum he sometimes going on, and seeing when he was last on. He doesn't know I go on there. Same with his Youtube account. I know it's a bad idea, and I need to stop, but it's like an addiction :( But something I have done is, take him off my friends list on MySpace, and changed my profile to private. I don't want to have to see his profile on there. I don't want to have to feel like I have to watch what I post on a bullentin, or what somebody says to me on a comment, etc. So, it's all pretty mixed up. I'm taking steps, but still failing miserably on some things. Oh well...one thing at a time I guess. Yeah, I don't want him to be in a bad state. I do care about him very much. It just hurts, and confuses me how he can be moving on so easily, apparently. But like I said...they don't really know that. Only what he says. So maybe he isn;t so good. But either way....I don't need to know.

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