sungrl Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 I need to know if i am being too sensitive..i feel a lot of resentment towards my b/f sometimes and i actually don't know if i am justified to be because maybe i am overreacting. I do see him every weekend--3-4 nights a week. Here are some things that get to me or have gotten to me in the past and its hard to let go. When i am at his mother's house..he always makes some comment that makes me feel a little embarrassed or angry at him..for example--one time i was eating with him and his mom at her place and i forget who else is there. I got a stain on my shirt i didnt see..his mom pointed it out and my b/f says shes a pig..and he didnt say it like with a smile on his face to show he is joking or didnt give me a tap..he said it and i know he didnt mean it and it was probably dripping with sarcasm but it bothered me he would make a comment like that in front of others..i told him so and he said ok maybe he shouldnt have...another time i was over at his mom's and the mother put the AC on for her daughter saying she will be coming home soon etc..and then my b/f says well does she sleep with the AC on and puts herself under a heavy blanket? and he looks at me after saying it almost embarrassing me because that is what i like and in private he says im wasting electricity at his place(its his place so if he doesnt want me doing it, then fine) but i just didnt see the comment as necessary in front of his mom. With this nephew who is 2 and i am there..he says his name and points and me tells him to say yuck like that is my name or something..he has done this a few times and it doesnt bother too much because its cute when the kid says it..but it in a way yes, it does bother me. I don't know how to drive(due to insurance being too high and then i just never got the permit)..i also didnt know how to ride a bike until he showed me and it was only one time so im probably not great at it yet...but his sister was cleaning her motorcycle and she said if you ever wanna learn i will show you..and then i just casually said i probably should learn to drive a car first(his mother is outside too so you know) and then my b/f says and a bicycle probably first too..and I felt embarrassed because i felt like his sister was looking at me and then his mom said oh well you know now how to and i just said yeah..I just feel like he is almost putting me down in front of his family with these little comments and almost putting me on the spot with my little shortcomings or annoying things to him that i do..i feel like its almost putting me down in a way. Now keep in mind--these are only things i resent when it comes to being at his house with family. Comments like this happen constantly..there is always something said when i am there by him and i feel like even if he doesnt mean it--he should be trying to make me look good in front of his family and seem happy i am there or just not say comments like that. Doesnt it sound like he is putting me down? Not completely putting me down but almost giving me a little punch or something??Does he have intimacy problems or something where having a g/f at his house is slightly difficult? Would anyone else be slightly upset?
DaNziNgQuEeN1 Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 If I were you, I WOULD be insulted! You said that you told him when it bothered you the time that he said you were "a pig." What about the other times? Have you said anything then? No offense to the guys but sometimes guys are CLUELESS when it comes to knowing that something bothers us...IF WE DON'T SPEAK UP. Guys will say things like, "Well how was I supposed to know that bothered you? You didn't tell me anything." That being said...you should try talking to him again. Tell him exactly what is bothering you and what you would appreciate he would do INSTEAD of insulting you. Don't just tell him that such and such bothers you, but also explain how it makes you feel. Then, like I said, tell him what change you would like to see. If he still doesn't get it then it could just mean he doesn't RESPECT you like you should be respected. Don't think or let HIM make you think that you are overreacting. You can't change the way you feel and a boyfriend that cares about his girlfriend would NOT be bringing her down...he would be lifting her up for all that she's worth. Good luck!
Reckless Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 I had to stop because I was getting annoyed ... Do you WANT to end up on Jerry Springer with the audience yelling at you because you not only have proved to be a total doormat but have got yourself involved with low class, intellectually challenged, emotionally retarded dimwit?! These things start slow "you're a pig", debasing you in front of others, teaching the children (of course eventually they will be your children) to disrespect you ...and finish with a punch in the face. Type in verbally abusive in the search engine her at the Shack and read how these relationships BEGAN... No your are not being overly sensitive. Yes this is unacceptable behaviour. Yes you should leave his butt fast (I know you didn't ask the last question but I thought I'd put in the answer anyway). Bad bad boyfriend. Sad to put up with it. Tragic to not even know you're being debased.
Author sungrl Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 he has good qualities but i notice when i am at his house and sometimes in private, little comments like this come out to make think..arent you happy to be with me or to say thanks a lot in a sarcastic way.
DaNziNgQuEeN1 Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Ok so you say he has "good qualities." Since you are posting this up on the forum it seems to me like his negative qualities are stronger than his positive qualities. In other words, this bugs you so it's a problem that needs to be taken care of. People do not change overnight. Is that the kind of boyfriend you want??? I bet you can find a boyfriend who has those positive qualities that he has AND MORE...a boyfriend who is NOT going to treat you in that negative way like that. Not to be offensive but either you change the way you think about this and stop complaining or you change the boyfriend. If I were you, I'd change the boyfriend! Good luck!
cr8sea Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 Girl!! its called ABUSE! Im freaking out because my boyfriend doesnt seem to want to go to the fair with me...and here you are thinking you're too sensitive because your boyfriend, the one person who should be supportive, caring and most importantly, respectful, is calling you a pig...and not only to you, but in front of his parents...uh...no...you're most definitely not being sensitive...you're being verbally abused and disrespected. And you should NEVER put up with that...no matter how good his other qualities might be. Respect is always ALWAYS number one...and if he doesnt have that, (and he doesnt) you need to get out quick. i hope you listen before the verbal things become physical.... good luck
cr8sea Posted July 17, 2007 Posted July 17, 2007 ...slightly upset???? i would have walked right out of that house as soon as he said "pig" .... ....not without a slap on the face first....
Author sungrl Posted July 17, 2007 Author Posted July 17, 2007 well that pig comment was over a year ago..i told him that he said that in front of his mom and he actually said i did? and i yeah and i dont like, be careful what you say in front of others..so something like that has never happened again BUT the things stated after that--would that bother you? the bicycle comment, his nephew..please comment on that. Thanks
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