loquaciousl Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 Hi. So I posted the other day about this guy that I am falling in love with. We have hit it off tremendously and are like peas in a pod in a lot of ways. For the sake of brevity (yeah, right!) I will cut to the chase: We have both expressed that we care about each other. He wants me to meet his 8 year old son next week and I have no qualms about that. I care about him a lot but we both have issues; he has expressed that he's "at the edge of the cliff but not ready to jump," but that he had seen us together from the get go, and that it would take him some time to bring his walls down. He also expressed that he was surprised that someone has gotten into his head and heart the way I have, etc. So this week he has a female friend visiting from out of town. She got there on Monday. I have received a text from him telling me he misses me and can't wait to see me next week as well as a email. However, I have not received a phone call at all from him. He told me there's nothing there with them, ie, romantically, and I want to believe him. He says there are characteristics about her that would drive him nuts if he was her boyfriend. I am inclined to believe he is telling me the truth. My issue is that I am smitten. However, I came to a conclusion about myself yesterday, and a big one at that. Each time I have put myself out there for a man, I have been abandoned; either physically or emotionally. He and I have not "cemented" or "labeled" our relationship at this point although he said that if he didn't see it going somewhere with me he wouldn't introduce me to his son. I have no reason to believe that he has suddenly changed his mind about all of this just because I haven't really heard from him this week. However, I feel so insecure because I haven't felt this way about anyone in a looooong time. Finally today, after just being fed up with the fact that I feel this way, I gave it up to God, for lack of a better way of dealing with this. I don't know what's going on, and I want to know, but at the same time, I am having a hard time with my propensity to thrive in fear. I just feel like, now, if it's meant to be it will happen. I just don't want to be the fool. Any thoughts or encouragement?
kymberann Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 Just go slow!!! Often we tend to over analyze and just pick apart our relationships just to make sense of it all. If things are meant to be they will. Those insecurities do creep in when we can't make sense of it all. Especially at the beginning of a new relationship when the deal has not been sealed and we really don't know where we stand or fit in this other person's life. Weird, these are all natural reactions but yet somehow when we let it get the better of us they can truly sabotage any potential happenings! Don't let that happen. I say just breathe and give it to God. Isn't it amazing, God knows exactly what we need, even before we even know we need it. God knows how this will all turn out for you, so trust that god will only give you what God knows what you can handle! I am glad you posted as I find myself in a similar situation right now. I find that I am working so much harder at going slow, for fear of jumping too quick and not being abandoned, while at the same time relying on myself to let it all go if it ever becomes too unhealthy. Nothing about this would mean you would be a fool. What it means is that this is where you are at right now and this is what you need to go through! On a lighter note, I bet since he hasn't seen you in awhile, that absence will actually make that relationship stronger. There is something to be said about absence making the heart fonder. Pluse if his friend has the ability to drive him nuts, then maybe he will be appreciative of your qualities. Just have patience! Best.
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