Chinook Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Do you mind telling me what "Eeyore" means.... Nylah, Eeyore is the sad donkey in the Winnie the Pooh stories. He's always down and looks on the sad side of things. Google the name.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 Ur gonna give up dating for the rest of the year cause of this? Its all part of it, just because somebody smiles doesn't mean they are into you. I have been on plenty of dates and have smiled and been polite and talkative, cause i am nice guy, but there was no second date cause i either just got out of a relationship and wasn't ready or there was just nothing there. U just gotta pick urself up and get back out there, you will never find what you're looking for if you dont put urself out there. Everybody get rejected sometimes, its no big deal. How many times can you pick yourself up after 7 years? After the age of 25 I can't make it to a second date to save my life. Sometimes you have to just accept that you are not relationship material
Chinook Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 DateAnalyzer, I could understand your frustration if you had been dating every week for the last 7 years. But isn't it true that this was the first in a couple of only recent forays into the dating world...? Do you not think you need to give it and yourself more of a chance...? It's not like you actually dated continuously for those 7 years with one-date only things is it...?
nylah Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 thanks..... okay, I thought I knew it from somewhere but I couldn't think where.
T-town Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Called and got the voicemail ahd left a message which means it's over. Very surprised by this after the nice outing I had. I no longer have the mental energy or stomach to go on another date. I'm done. Sick of this sh*T. And yes she will get a NASTY MESSAGE on her voicemail tomorow evening if my call is not returned for wasting my time Because she didn't answer the phone its over???? Maybe she was busy!! Dont why dont u give her sometime to call back before you jump to any conclusions! The girl i am dating now didn't pick up the first time i called cause she was busy, but we have gone out several times since then...just give it chance and DONT SEND HER A NASTY MESSAGE!! That is really immature and wont serve any purpose other than reenforce why she didn't want to go back out with you in the first place. Let it go and go find another girl.
T-town Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 How many times can you pick yourself up after 7 years? After the age of 25 I can't make it to a second date to save my life. Sometimes you have to just accept that you are not relationship material As many times as it takes...this sounds like part of the problem. To me it sounds like you have already decided that these dates will fail before you even go on them. U ever think about working on you? Sounds to me like you have some self-esteem issues. Go to the gym and start working on you...i think you will find when you are happier with yourself others will enjoy your company much more.
shadowplay Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 DateAnalyzer -- Might I suggest you ditch the online dating route and try getting to know some women in person the traditional way? That will greatly diminish your chances of rejection after the first date. Online dating is really risky because you can't know if you really click with a person until you meet them irl. I've had the experience of really hitting it off with somebody online only to find we have zero chemistry in person. Furthermore, a lot of people who do online dating are dating several people at once and don't take each prospect too seriously. Out of curiosity how many of your past dates did you meet online?
shadowplay Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Just wanted to add that unfortunately the reality of dating is that you have to go through a lot of rejections to find a girl who digs you. Most men go through that. But the numbers are in your favor if you don't quit. You need to just desensitize yourself, and keep trying. It will happen eventually, I promise.
nylah Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 As many times as it takes...this sounds like part of the problem. To me it sounds like you have already decided that these dates will fail before you even go on them. U ever think about working on you? Sounds to me like you have some self-esteem issues. Go to the gym and start working on you...i think you will find when you are happier with yourself others will enjoy your company much more. I think the advice that you are giving DA is great. You're a very good motivator:)
lino Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 As many times as it takes...this sounds like part of the problem. To me it sounds like you have already decided that these dates will fail before you even go on them. U ever think about working on you? Sounds to me like you have some self-esteem issues. Go to the gym and start working on you...i think you will find when you are happier with yourself others will enjoy your company much more. I can definitely relate to the same problems that dateanalyzer is having although most of my rejections come after 1-3 months into the boyfriend/girlfriend phase, not as early as his. I feel the women I've been with have just gotten over me & decide to chuck me out like rubbish. I know I have a self esteem issue & I've received similar advice as you've given above and while it sounds very good & rational, its much easier said than done. I'm heaps into weight training/fitness & I'm in great shape physically & I'm told I'm a good looking guy but still I've never had a LTR. I know my appearance is probably the only aspect of me that attracts girls & I agree that getting into shape helps but it only goes sofar. you need something extra to keep a woman interested in you. How does one improve his self esteem beyond appearance? this is something I have a lot of trouble with, I don't even know where to start? Also, no offense, but the people who usually give out such advice are people who don't suffer from ONLY rejection. Sure they have also been rejected like pretty much everyone else but they also have success stories to talk about. whereas guys like myself & I'm assuming the OP also don't have such stories. it does get very frustrating & it really makes you question your worth for others.
lino Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Just wanted to add that unfortunately the reality of dating is that you have to go through a lot of rejections to find a girl who digs you. Most men go through that. But the numbers are in your favor if you don't quit. You need to just desensitize yourself, and keep trying. It will happen eventually, I promise. This is also something that is very re assuring to hear, especially after you've been dumped bu in reality its very difficult to believe, especially when you're constantly getting tossed aside by women for, in your own view, no apparent reason! Like I said above its all sound advice & completely rational but much easier to truly & instinctivly understand & say when you have some success stories under your belt, which unfortunately I don't have
lino Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Oh and one more thing. DON'T leave a nasty message for the girl dateanalyzer, it won't get you anywhere. Just leave things where they are and move on. If she's interested she has your number now she can contact you and then you can decide if you want to let her talk to you again.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 I will try again in 2008, right now i'm just waiting for football season to start
shadowplay Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 I know a guy who isn't very good looking but has completely desensitized himself to rejection. He approaches a ton of girls, and gets turned down fairly often, but because he's so persistent he's dated some really attractive women (and even been in long-term relationships with a couple). Persistence pays off. You really just need to desensitize yourself and not take rejection personally because everyone gets rejected. I know that's hard to do, but the more you get rejected ironically the easier it gets to brush it off. So in a way getting rejected at first is a good thing because it gives you a thicker skin. If you run away now you'll just be reinforcing the notion that dating is horrible and you can't handle rejection. That will make it much harder for you to date again in the future. Face your fears and be strong. It will pay off. Believe me.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 All I have to say is that was the best performance by a female on a date with me who was not interested in my entire dating life. She defintely deserves a EMMY because everything she did was totally unnecessary. Like when the meter ran out where she parked her car, she could have just left then instead of sitting with me in the park. I swear females are so retarded sometime.
Krytellan Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 I'm going to reiterate, DA, that whether you know it or not, I think your poor attitude comes through in your interactions with these women. I think you should acknowledge that's possible.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 I'm going to reiterate, DA, that whether you know it or not, I think your poor attitude comes through in your interactions with these women. I think you should acknowledge that's possible. for the last time, i did not have a negative attitude on the date, maybe I was bigger than she expected, she asked me was i overweight and I said yeah but slightly. I'm so programmed to make something NOT SOUND BAD when talking to a woman on the phone. I never want to volunteer negative info about me so I just try to dress everything up. maybe i didn;t look slightly overwweight, and i guess me meeting her right after work with my shirt tucked in didn;t help anything. so I will no longer meet a woman on a blind date right after work unless it's the winter time. I realize that most of my success is in the winter time because I have on more clothes and I'm more sexy in the winter. I'm the least sexy in the summer because I have on less clothes which is another reason for me to hate the summer time. So I'm thinking I should just wait until the fall and just lose weight in the meantime
jcster Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 All I have to say is that was the best performance by a female on a date with me who was not interested in my entire dating life. She defintely deserves a EMMY because everything she did was totally unnecessary. Like when the meter ran out where she parked her car, she could have just left then instead of sitting with me in the park. I swear females are so retarded sometime. Oy! I might have to stop replying to these types of posts, because they're making me upset. Women are PEOPLE! Just like you! We don't always say the right thing, we don't always know what we want. Sometimes we come home from a date and change our minds. Sometimes we're just nice without any reason whatsoever. It's not leading you on, it's not playing games, it's being a person!!!! It's so frustrating to hear the cynicism, the bitterness and outright BLAME that women are getting from you guys because you aren't getting the dates you think you deserve. If you need to look at one primary reason you are alone - it's because you're trying to date women and you don't even LIKE THEM.
whichwayisup Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Just let it go, move on. Don't make this about you and think you did something wrong, or she thought you were too chunky. WHO CARES what she thought and why it didn't work out. Bottomline, you didn't really know her, but now you know what she is like - A game player, and someone who isn't worthy of your time and effort. I wouldn't bother leaving ANY messages on her machine - ANY reaction towards her will only edge her ego on and the game she seems to be playing. Live well and forget all about her. Lose that weight, feel good about yourself and gain some self confidence.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 Oy! I might have to stop replying to these types of posts, because they're making me upset. Women are PEOPLE! Just like you! We don't always say the right thing, we don't always know what we want. Sometimes we come home from a date and change our minds. Sometimes we're just nice without any reason whatsoever. It's not leading you on, it's not playing games, it's being a person!!!! It's so frustrating to hear the cynicism, the bitterness and outright BLAME that women are getting from you guys because you aren't getting the dates you think you deserve. If you need to look at one primary reason you are alone - it's because you're trying to date women and you don't even LIKE THEM. Well that the fact that you say women sometimes come home and change their mind after a date just makes me want to go on another tonight.
nylah Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Well that the fact that you say women sometimes come home and change their mind after a date just makes me want to go on another tonight. Good for you!! I think things are going to work out just fine for ya:)
whichwayisup Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Well that the fact that you say women sometimes come home and change their mind after a date just makes me want to go on another tonight. Jesus, people have the right to change their minds! You don't think GUYS do the same thing to women? Like maybe the date is going well and then the guy changes his mind and doesn't call? Why are you taking this so personally? You didn't invest a whole lot of time in her, so just relax, man...
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 Good for you!! I think things are going to work out just fine for ya:) I was being sarcastic, hearing that makes me want to wait until july of 2008 to go on another date. That's why I rather do so many things than going on a date because you have no control of the outcome. Just like a job interview, you may get the call, you may not
nylah Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 I was being sarcastic, hearing that makes me want to wait until july of 2008 to go on another date. That's why I rather do so many things than going on a date because you have no control of the outcome. Just like a job interview, you may get the call, you may not But if you quit, you're never going to get what you're after....right?
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 Jesus, people have the right to change their minds! You don't think GUYS do the same thing to women? Like maybe the date is going well and then the guy changes his mind and doesn't call? Why are you taking this so personally? You didn't invest a whole lot of time in her, so just relax, man... because i could have been home in my apt doing something i enjoy, watching sports, reading, on the web, instead of sitting across from a girl who has no intentions on calling me back. And the message I will leave on her machine won;t be nasty, i just want to tell her I don;t appreciate my time being wasted
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