Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 so whats the update man? oops wait, maybe you're not in eastern time or you may not even be in US, who knows? Called and got the voicemail ahd left a message which means it's over. Very surprised by this after the nice outing I had. I no longer have the mental energy or stomach to go on another date. I'm done. Sick of this sh*T. And yes she will get a NASTY MESSAGE on her voicemail tomorow evening if my call is not returned for wasting my time
alphamale Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 And yes she will get a NASTY MESSAGE on her voicemail tomorow evening if my call is not returned for wasting my time um, i wouldn't do that.
Chinook Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Called and got the voicemail ahd left a message which means it's over. Very surprised by this after the nice outing I had. I no longer have the mental energy or stomach to go on another date. I'm done. Sick of this sh*T. And yes she will get a NASTY MESSAGE on her voicemail tomorow evening if my call is not returned for wasting my time You know what...? I wouldn't bother leaving her a voicemail tomorrow if she doesn't return your call. Why bother giving her the satisfaction of knowing it bothered you at all. You're better than that, at least you had the courtesy to call. I'd leave it at that and take the high road. If after a period of time she calls you - explain that she had her chance but you're sorry you can't date someone who is rude and refuses to return their calls. Just one thing though, I keep my cell on divert all the time. When I'm dealing with life's shyte, it makes it easier for me to just not talk to people. I would have expected her to call you after the first call to her though (actually, if I liked you that much, I would have called first, I don't do the dating rules thing either). Now, maybe she should be just dropped. Oh and don't give up on the dating...not all girls are the same.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 um, i wouldn't do that. I don't respect women who play games and pretend to be interested.
Chinook Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 I don't respect women who play games and pretend to be interested.It ain't about respect for her. It's about respect for you and yourself. If she's playing games, you should simply not engage in it and take the high road.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 You know what...? I wouldn't bother leaving her a voicemail tomorrow if she doesn't return your call. Why bother giving her the satisfaction of knowing it bothered you at all. You're better than that, at least you had the courtesy to call. I'd leave it at that and take the high road. If after a period of time she calls you - explain that she had her chance but you're sorry you can't date someone who is rude and refuses to return their calls. Just one thing though, I keep my cell on divert all the time. When I'm dealing with life's shyte, it makes it easier for me to just not talk to people. I would have expected her to call you after the first call to her though (actually, if I liked you that much, I would have called first, I don't do the dating rules thing either). Now, maybe she should be just dropped. Oh and don't give up on the dating...not all girls are the same. After 7 years I just can't do it anymore
JeanQueen Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Called and got the voicemail ahd left a message which means it's over. Very surprised by this after the nice outing I had. I no longer have the mental energy or stomach to go on another date. I'm done. Sick of this sh*T. And yes she will get a NASTY MESSAGE on her voicemail tomorow evening if my call is not returned for wasting my time I don't thing I would waste my own time leaving her a nasty message if I were you. That seems a bit immature for a 32 year old. I know it sucks, but if she wasn't interested in a second date then you should just let it go at that. She didn't really "waste" your time. The whole point of dating is to figure out if you like someone. Some people are just really bad at being able to say "look, I don't feel and connection" and would rather fake that they are having fun for the rest of the evening because they think they're sparing your feeling. At least she didn't lead you on for several dates and then drop you. Take it form me, it's better to know right away instead of being played.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 I don't thing I would waste my own time leaving her a nasty message if I were you. That seems a bit immature for a 32 year old. I know it sucks, but if she wasn't interested in a second date then you should just let it go at that. She didn't really "waste" your time. The whole point of dating is to figure out if you like someone. Some people are just really bad at being able to say "look, I don't feel and connection" and would rather fake that they are having fun for the rest of the evening because they think they're sparing your feeling. At least she didn't lead you on for several dates and then drop you. Take it form me, it's better to know right away instead of being played. But why compliment someone if you don't want to see them again? I never did any dumb sh*t like that.
JeanQueen Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 But why compliment someone if you don't want to see them again? I never did any dumb sh*t like that. Yeah, it's a mystery. People do weird things in dating situations. I went out with several men as a distraction shortly after breaking up with my ex last summer. They were all very nice and attractive and I complimented them but did not see them much after the initial date because I was just not ready for that. Maybe she has other things going on and isn't really looking for a relationship, but still wanted to go out for some fun. Where did you meet her/ how long have you known her?
Chinook Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 But why compliment someone if you don't want to see them again? I never did any dumb sh*t like that.Um, just because someone compliments you on a first date doesn't mean they like you or want to take it further. I think for me, unless a guy actually says "I like you and want to take it further" I rarely listen to any other crap that comes out their mouth unless we're weeks down the line and it's looking like it's moving into relationship territory. I think the mistake you're making is doing the old 'love interpretation' thing. Unfortunately people are human beings and they're falliable. We expect them to exceed our expectations, but sadly...they rarely do. Whose fault is it though...? Ours for expecting...? Or theirs for failing...? How can they not fail when they don't know what the expectations actually are...? If you had said to her 'just call me and let me know if you want a second date' I could understand your frustration...but it seems that you guys just were kinda unclear about the whole thing. So, she did what people do and took the easy way out by not taking your call. I doubt it's even personal towards you to be honest. She just wasn't that into you from her perspective. There's no shame in that.
nylah Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 I don't respect women who play games and pretend to be interested. I'm sorry things didn't go good... If she doesn't call you back, then it's her loss..... I promise you things will get better... And I want to keep seeing you on here..
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 Yeah, it's a mystery. People do weird things in dating situations. I went out with several men as a distraction shortly after breaking up with my ex last summer. They were all very nice and attractive and I complimented them but did not see them much after the initial date because I was just not ready for that. Maybe she has other things going on and isn't really looking for a relationship, but still wanted to go out for some fun. Where did you meet her/ how long have you known her? Met her off craiglist and talked for 2 weeks. I'm just so confused by this , not only did she smile during the date but when I first looked at her coming down the street she smiled. Defintely no more dates for me in 2007
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 oh...there's the problem Why is that the problem
alphamale Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Why is that the problem thats were many kooks and freaks post their free ads
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 what is craiglist? Is that a dating service? ... A free Dating service
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 what is craiglist? Is that a dating service? ... A free Dating service
alphamale Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 A free Dating service well DA...you get what you pay for
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 thats were many kooks and freaks post their free ads I'm not following you because the person I met wasn't a freak. They have a section on craiglist for freaks
Krytellan Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Hey DA. I want to throw something out here. Try not to take it too personally. Your last message about leaving a nasty message with her tomorrow if she doesn't respond kinda confirms what I've been thinking about this. That is, that you sound like a miserable person to me. I understand that through a purely text communication style, I only get 7% of the full understanding of your communication. However, in text, I get the impression that you might be a real downer to be around. Maybe like an Eeyore. If what is coming through on this forum comes through in person, that may be part of the problem with getting second dates. People don't want to be around miserable people by choice. And that message about being nasty made me feel like maybe you're also a little... hmm... bitter and mean toward women. Like you give off this air of they "owe it to you". Another unattractive quality if true. You'll know if any of this pertains to you. If not, then I missed. If so, try working on it.
Author DateAnalyzer Posted July 16, 2007 Author Posted July 16, 2007 Hey DA. I want to throw something out here. Try not to take it too personally. Your last message about leaving a nasty message with her tomorrow if she doesn't respond kinda confirms what I've been thinking about this. That is, that you sound like a miserable person to me. I understand that through a purely text communication style, I only get 7% of the full understanding of your communication. However, in text, I get the impression that you might be a real downer to be around. Maybe like an Eeyore. If what is coming through on this forum comes through in person, that may be part of the problem with getting second dates. People don't want to be around miserable people by choice. And that message about being nasty made me feel like maybe you're also a little... hmm... bitter and mean toward women. Like you give off this air of they "owe it to you". Another unattractive quality if true. You'll know if any of this pertains to you. If not, then I missed. If so, try working on it. No that was not the case at all, we both smiled all evening and after leaving the cafe went to sit in the park and talk more. So that's why I'm not motivated to do anything right now, go to work, talk to my mom, talk to friends, do my laundry. I just can't believe that this happens to me again.
T-town Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Met her off craiglist and talked for 2 weeks. I'm just so confused by this , not only did she smile during the date but when I first looked at her coming down the street she smiled. Defintely no more dates for me in 2007 Ur gonna give up dating for the rest of the year cause of this? Its all part of it, just because somebody smiles doesn't mean they are into you. I have been on plenty of dates and have smiled and been polite and talkative, cause i am nice guy, but there was no second date cause i either just got out of a relationship and wasn't ready or there was just nothing there. U just gotta pick urself up and get back out there, you will never find what you're looking for if you dont put urself out there. Everybody get rejected sometimes, its no big deal.
nylah Posted July 16, 2007 Posted July 16, 2007 Hey DA. I want to throw something out here. Try not to take it too personally. Your last message about leaving a nasty message with her tomorrow if she doesn't respond kinda confirms what I've been thinking about this. That is, that you sound like a miserable person to me. I understand that through a purely text communication style, I only get 7% of the full understanding of your communication. However, in text, I get the impression that you might be a real downer to be around. Maybe like an Eeyore. If what is coming through on this forum comes through in person, that may be part of the problem with getting second dates. People don't want to be around miserable people by choice. And that message about being nasty made me feel like maybe you're also a little... hmm... bitter and mean toward women. Like you give off this air of they "owe it to you". Another unattractive quality if true. You'll know if any of this pertains to you. If not, then I missed. If so, try working on it. Do you mind telling me what "Eeyore" means....
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