uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 I'm hurting so much over my breakup situation..... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t124587/ and who would have thought that it could have gotten worse. There is another man that I started seeing awhile back and I didn't find any chemistry with him so I told him that and he told me he would be able to be friends. Lately he's been talking relationship talk. He knows I've been feeling down lately and that I want someone to talk to about things but everytime I try to, he just tells me that I'd be happy if I was in a relationship with him. Well today this scenario kept happening in our emails and I told him that I know what will happen because it's happened to me before with men who told me that they could be friends. I had a man leave me earlier this year when I was going through a crisis. He had told me he could be friends and then decided (when I needed him most) to do the disappearing act on me. It was devastating. So I told this current guy that I know this is what's going to happen by what's taking place today and it's better to end it completely because I know the same thing will happen that happened with the guy friend earlier this year who deserted me. Knowing that I was already very down lately, he responded with a very cruel e-mail. He basically made me feel worthless. He said that as far as me having no one there for me that I should go look in the mirror. I couldn't believe what I was reading. I started crying. I sent him an e-mail about how depressed he's made me now and he sent me a patronizing one back saying "nights are the worst for you, aren't they?" He was acting as if how bad I felt was due to my being depressed rather that what he had just said to me. I just can't believe all these bad things happen to me. This might not be the right place for this thread but I've already told my initial story here so thought I'd post this here as well.
nylah Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 I'm sorry about what's happened to you. But, I've gotta say that it sounds like the new guy was trying to reach out to you....it's probably not a good idea to keep talking about your past relationship with him...It also sounds like you should take some time off for yourself, and heal from whatever it was/is that has you down....and I'm just curious....what was it that the new guy said that made you feel "worthless"????......
funkybassplayer Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 I would not take too much notice, the guy is proberbly hurt, and was trying to get you back as it were, but in fairness you did the right thing, because he wants a relationship with you, and you dont (aside from being friends) So whatever it would have been wrong to keep the friendship going if he cant be a friend to you, dont be tpp down, it happened for the best, just ignor his coments, i bet he will say sorry after a few days, but for both your sakes, let him go, as he cant be a friend.
nylah Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 I would not take too much notice, the guy is proberbly hurt, and was trying to get you back as it were, but in fairness you did the right thing, because he wants a relationship with you, and you dont (aside from being friends) So whatever it would have been wrong to keep the friendship going if he cant be a friend to you, dont be tpp down, it happened for the best, just ignor his coments, i bet he will say sorry after a few days, but for both your sakes, let him go, as he cant be a friend. Can you enlighten me on what the insult was??....was it "look in the mirror"??
Author uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 I'm sorry about what's happened to you. But, I've gotta say that it sounds like the new guy was trying to reach out to you.... I'm not really sure how you're getting that out of what I said. I tried to talk to him about things going on---because I was keeping to myself and he wanted to know why. And when I told him about things bothering me, his solution for it was to have a relationship with him. That would solve it all, he figured....then I'd be happy. Instead of addressing the things I was upset about, he bypassed them and went straight to relationship talk.
Author uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 Can you enlighten me on what the insult was??....was it "look in the mirror"?? He said: if you are looking for friends get off of a dating site. if you don't have friends at your age maybe you need to look in the mirror. Very strange for someone like you not to have any girl friends or otherwise.
Author uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 I would not take too much notice, the guy is proberbly hurt, and was trying to get you back as it were, but in fairness you did the right thing, because he wants a relationship with you, and you dont (aside from being friends) So whatever it would have been wrong to keep the friendship going if he cant be a friend to you, dont be tpp down, it happened for the best, just ignor his coments, i bet he will say sorry after a few days, but for both your sakes, let him go, as he cant be a friend. I have tried countless times but over and over again, he keeps going back to relationship talk. It went on all day yesterday. I would email him that there was no chemistry and he'd email back how we could kiss, hold hands and make out and chemistry would grow, etc... I mean, he just kept it up and kept it up.
nylah Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 He said : if you are looking for friends get off of a dating site. if you don't have friends at your age maybe you need to look in the mirror. Very strange for someone like you not to have any girl friends or otherwhise. Yeah, that was pretty mean of him....Initially I thought that you were looking for someone to take your mind off of your last relationship, and to talk to....which you are, but you don't want it to be a relationship, right???? My bad....I hope you find what you're looking for......
Author uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 He said : if you are looking for friends get off of a dating site. if you don't have friends at your age maybe you need to look in the mirror. Very strange for someone like you not to have any girl friends or otherwhise. Yeah, that was pretty mean of him....Initially I thought that you were looking for someone to take your mind off of your last relationship, and to talk to....which you are, but you don't want it to be a relationship, right???? My bad....I hope you find what you're looking for...... Yes, I would like to meet someone to do that but this guy isn't going to do that because there is no attraction. I thought I could talk to him though. I wasn't talking to him about the other relationship either. Also when he said the above, he knows how very down I've been lately and how I've tried to turn to others, such as family and how they've just pushed me aside which made me even worse. He said this knowing all this.
nylah Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 Yeah, people love to kick you when you're down....the more you talk about this guy, the more he sounds like he's trying to take advantage of you because he knows you're down....You probably should tell him to go f**k himself...
Author uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 He knew how much that would hurt me and when it did and I showed my pain in my response back to him, he replied: "nights are the worst for you, aren't they?" patronizing me.
Author uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 Yeah, I know all too well that people like to kick you when you're down. I don't know why that is. I wished I'd never told him I was depressed. He made me feel I could trust him.
nylah Posted July 14, 2007 Posted July 14, 2007 yeah, he sounds pretty creepy...do you have any girl friends that you can talk to? How long were you in your last relationship?
Author uniqueone Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 yeah, he sounds pretty creepy...do you have any girl friends that you can talk to? How long were you in your last relationship? No real women friends that are there for me...just acquaintances, I guess you'd call them. I've had women friends in the past who drifted away because I wasn't a drinker and then there were ones who'd meet a guy and disappear...stuff like that. I've known that last guy for six months.
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