hope1975 Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 I have a close guy friend who gets a bit weird when I talk about other guys, and he always points out their flaws. I asked him about this, cos I didn't think it was jealousy, as he has a girlfriend, and they're getting married. He said it's not jealousy, although he does feel kind of protective towards me & doesn't want me to get hurt. I'm just curious what other LS'ers opinions are...Is it normal for a guy that's getting married to be concerned about who his friend dates...I thought he'd be happy for me to find someone, but I have a gut feeling he's not going to like any guy I date. Is it a bit of jealousy, competitiveness, or protectiveness...I don't understand it!!! So what do you guys think?
doiask42much Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 If he's consistently finding flaws with pretty much any guy, I'd say it's jealousy/competitiveness. Even if he is engaged, he can still have ego validation needs (low self-esteem) and seek to meet them by pointing out others' flaws. And he can be jealous of those guys being "better" than him, even if he has no romantic interest in you. If it were just about being protective, you'd think he'd ok at least one of the guys you talk about, unless you consistently pick "bad boy" types.
Trialbyfire Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 Good call d42m. One more possibility is that he feels brotherly towards you, where brothers never feel that anyone is good enough for their little sister. And yes, I have two older brothers.
Author hope1975 Posted July 13, 2007 Author Posted July 13, 2007 I think you both may be right!! I don't consistantly pick bad boy types, and the guys I talk about, he's never even met. I wanted to bring one of the guys to a seminar we attended, but I got the impression my friend wouldn't have been comfortable with it, so I didn't. When I said that to him, he didn't deny it, which I thought he would. I thought it may be an ego thing, but he has a pretty good ego...unless that just makes him more competitive. It's also very possible that he could feel a brotherly love towards me...is there anyway to tell the difference?
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