angelus Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 HI, everyone. I'm new here. I need some help..not sure how this is going to play out. I started dating this girl 5 months ago. Played it cool at first i broke up with her 1 time because she wasn't sure what she wanted me or the ex-boyfriend. so, i gave her some time to think. After 5 days of not talking to her, she said she doesn't want to do this anymore and she wanted to be with me. Everything was fine...for awhile..the ex kept texting her and calling her..one time he even drove over her house and saw me walking her dog, i didn't know it was him. He found out about me and he said to her "oh, god kill me now". anyways, everything was fine and i wasn't jealous...for awhile. Then she when to new jersey for the weekend 2 weeks ago, she called me and texted me all weekend telling me how much she missed me and wished i was there with her. After, she got back we had a great week until this past Saturday, we were kinda pissy with each other..then she got a text from the ex that day and made me even more pissy. She assured me everything was fine. So, i apologized for the weekend..then she tells me that she got defensive when i brought up the ex, but she said it made sense. She was still holding on to the past. So this past tuesday, i made a decision and broke up with her..i didn't want to but it was the right thing to do. I told her i can't see here anymore, we both cried and i told her the only way you are going to be sureif i am what you want is if we are not together anymore and you can do whatever you want, even if that means seeing the ex again. So, i let her go. Well, we work together and she has called out sick the past 3 days. Then i heard from a mutual friend, that she hasn't been home and she took the dog with her. I pretty sure she is with him. But, damn i didn't think it would be that soon. She called me last night , we talked for a few minutes and she told me that she missed me. I am in pretty bad shape...didn't realize i was the rebound until a few days ago. Any advice on how i should handle this? or what do you guys think is happening? why is she saying she misses me?
funkybassplayer Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 If she is with the ex, walk away, if not maybe meet her and see whtas going on, but if you ask me, she need to be single for a while, and find herself. She still sounds like she is keen on the ex, and its hard to say if you are just the rebound man. Eighter way, she needs time out on her own, as if you went back to her now, it wont last. Every1 has a past life, and if they want to keep friends with an ex, thats up to them, as long as it is friends and no more. You cant be friends and be in love no way, thats why its best just to walk away after a split.
JulieJ Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 I wouldn't assume that you were the rebound. Perhaps he is the rebound from you? I'm sure you upset her when you broke-up and he was waiting there for her afterwards. It was the perfect opportunity for him to move in on her while she was vulnerable. I don't know, there is always more than one way to look at something.
Author angelus Posted July 14, 2007 Author Posted July 14, 2007 i left out an important detail. She was with this guy for 1 year before me. also, kind of an update. She called me today and we talked, i was pretty much telling her how i felt about her and how i didn't want to break up. told her how she kind of put me in that position. talked for longer than i should have, but ended up making her laugh alot and totally cheered her up, she is sick and she was sad. maybe she is using me as a crutch? damnit, why can't i just be a man and let it go? i think i just want to satisfy myself. to know that i did everthing i could to try and save us.
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