fly_gurl Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 This is kind of a long story, but please bare with me on this one, please, I need your advice! It's been bothering me, so I guess I will go ahead and ask. I don't know how comfortable I am asking for this kind of advice, but I truly do need it. I have been with my SO for about 5 years now. I don't feel like there's any passion between us. I feel like I have been the blame for that because I don't like having sex, I am always arguing, and I blame him for a lot of things. I am constantly talking bad about his family, telling him he will end up like his father, calling his mother names behind her back. I am such a b1tch. He does so much for me. He works two jobs, just to bring in enough money, goes to school full-time, and also has to come home and clean up our apartment, because when he is gone, I don't ever get off my butt to lift a finger. Things have been the way they are now, for a little over a year. When he succeeds at something, I never compliment him. In fact, I get jealous, and act like I don't want to hear about it. I feel like a complete bad person right now. He has done so much for me in and still does, without complaining. He has done the laundry and cooked for us for the past two years of our relationship. He does this because he knows I'm depressed and was having issues with my mom. I was never really close to her, and when I started talking to her she stole from me. She treats me like ****, yet I get mad at him when he tells me I should stay away from her. I might sound like a total complete Beotch right now, but I also gave things up for this man since I have been with him. I feel like since we have been together I have lost friends, I have lost family, I changed myself so much. I use to smoke, but he would always get down my throat about it, so I finally quit. I use to listen to rap music, but he would get annoyed, so I quit doing that. I liked to drink and hang out, but he got so drunk one night he decided to quit. So now we don't drink anymore. I have changed so much for this man. I feel like I can't be myself around him or his family either. They are all--picky-picky, and stuck up. They are all middle and higher class people, while most of my family are working-lower class people. I love this guy so much because I feel if it weren't for him right now, I would have nothing. But, I also feel like I walk on eggshells way too much. Like I have fall into this depression of self-hate. I am always criticizing myself. It's to the point were I don't even like seeing people. I would rather just be by myself in the house watching tv. I am constantly worried about what other people are thinking about. I always feel as though I am being judged. I can't even look at someone and talk about how life is going without becoming teary eyed. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore. I feel like such a lonely person. Getting back to him. We don't spend much time together anymore, he is always gone. He is a very hardworker, but we aren't intimate. We don't even hold hands anymore. I want that back. I want out kissy-kissyness back. Can somebody please give me some advice on how to repair my relationship with him, please!!! I love him so much!
Lezbean Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 Go here and read, read, read. http://www.marsvenus.com/
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