Going out with the guys after work...what's the big deal?

[SOS_Please]

Okay...so as the title implies: tomorrow I am going out with some guys I work with after work. I am one of the only girls at my place of employment. Honestly there are like 10 girls and about 100 guys. I have hung out with three of the girls; pretty regularly. I have not, however, hung out with the guys.

 

Okay, well I have, but it was my two bosses, both their wives, and the girls mentioned above.

 

Tomorrow night, however, I am hanging out with some of the guys who are just fellow employees. They always go out every Friday, and finally two of four who decided to go tomorrow invited me to go with them. I am friends with all of them--JUST friends. I mean, three of them are married, and the other has a significant other. So, I am really excited to go.

 

However, I act a little flirty at work; it's not deliberate, but just my personality (I act the same way with guys as I do with girls). So, all of them expressed concern with that--seeing as how we live in a small town, and none of them want it getting back to their significant others that they were seen out with a flirty, 22 year old who was questionably dressed.

 

So (though I don't understand why they would ask me and then express concern, when they know that is just my personality/style), I decided tomorrow that since they are trying to include me, I would wear a polo shirt and jeans, with my hair back, and minimal make-up, and not be "flirty." I think that would be appropriate and respectful of their image.

 

Now, my problem is this: I have no idea what to talk about with guys. They all consider me to be like "one of the guys," but, I mean, at work, we don't really get a chance to talk about things outside of work. However, I do talk more with the two who invited me, and I know that they just go to throw back a couple of beers, chat about whatever (their lives, wives, kids, work, etc.). Well, I want to go and have a good time (though not get drunk and act foolish), but all--with the exception of one who is 25--are in their 30's and 40's. So, I don't know what imput I'll have really. Haha, I mean, I don't have kids, a husband, boyfriend, or a life outside of work really...well, I do attend college.

 

I guess I would like some suggestions for how to behave and what to discuss. What do guys like to talk about when they are just "out with the guys"?

[Enema]

Just don't talk about their families.

 

Nobody likes a cockblock.

[alphamale]

I guess I would like some suggestions for how to behave and what to discuss. What do guys like to talk about when they are just "out with the guys"?

Well, first of all I think you should dress all sexy and cause a scandal. Secondly, when most people get together after work they usually end up talking about work...mainly cause thats the main thing they have in common. Gossiping about other people at work is also a common subject.

[SOS_Please]

I think you should dress all sexy and cause a scandal.

 

Hahaha, yeah...there are enough scandals at work! Me being in a few of them--gossip is big in this town. LOL, I've been accused of being everything from a prude, to a lesbian, to a man-stealing-whore...all because I don't have a boyfriend, and I am friends with guys. Haha, people love to come up with things down here! I mean, $hit...I am a virgin (never done anything more than kiss a man, and only done that with two), but I have been accused of being a slut.

 

Haha, I don't need any more scandal in my life!

 

Nobody likes a cockblock.

 

Okay, this may sound stupid...but what exactly is a cockblock?

[Lizzie60]

I, personally, don't like the 'after work' socializing...

After work, I'm heading home... I see enough of them all day...LOL

 

But, in your case, I feel you actually like the negative attention:

 

Hahaha, yeah...there are enough scandals at work! Me being in a few of them--gossip is big in this town. LOL, I've been accused of being everything from a prude, to a lesbian, to a man-stealing-whore...all because I don't have a boyfriend, and I am friends with guys. Haha, people love to come up with things down here! I mean, $hit...I am a virgin (never done anything more than kiss a man, and only done that with two), but I have been accused of being a slut.

 

From what I read here, you enjoy it.

 

If you go, it could make some guys uncomfortable... they won't tell you not to go, but they might eventually stop going because they don't want to deal with the jealousy of their SO at home...

 

You know this can cause 'hoola' with their SO but, from what I read, you want to do just that...

 

You don't even feel comfortable enough to 'know' what to talk about with those guys (you're asking us ), you seem like you're forcing your way there...

 

Of course, no one can prevent you from going... it's your prerogative...but if I were you, and I knew I would make the 'guys' uncomfortable because of me and be the 'party pooper' I wouldn't go... but that's me...

 

I would never impose myself where I know I'm not welcome, especially with co-workers.

[redfathom]

I would be careful, if people do gossip it could hurt you professionally. I would careful about the reputation you might already have and thus the reason why so many married guys are inviting you out.

[travellingman]

What do guys like to talk about when they are just "out with the guys"?

 

How hot 22 year old chicks are.

[McFadden]

Oh this poor woman. She sounds like a pure and chaste person, probably even more so than myself but then people jump to conclusions. Why would she already have a bad reputation?

 

If you just go along with the conversation because youre the newest person I'm sure it will be fine. If anyone says otherwise its thier problem.

[StaringContest]

How hot 22 year old chicks are.

 

Exactly.

 

SOS_Please, It's kinda cute that you think guys at a bar are going to be talking about their wife and kids and you won't have anything to say. Unless they're b*tching about them, they won't even bring them up.

 

You're a cute girl, and they're 30+ guys. You don't have to worry about what you're going to say. Your biggest worry should be to make sure you don't drink too much tonight.

 

Side note: No matter what they say, guys are never going to consider you as "one of the guys". The only way that'd be true is if you were really butch looking.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

If you can, buy them a lapdance!

 

A friend of mine did that, she prided herself as being able to fit in as one of the guys. But it backfired when they returned the favor and bought HER a lapdance

[SOS_Please]

So, I went out tonight, and all went well!

 

We had a great time! Another woman (who's married) ended up going, and we had so much fun! I'm so glad I went!

 

Those of you who said I wouldn't need to worry about what to talk about: you were right. It was very easy to talk with the guys! What's funny: those that were most concerned with what their SO's would think had the MOST fun!

 

To the comment regarding my "wanting" negative attention: Yes. You are absolutely right; I love being called a lesbian...slut...what have you. Yeah, it's great! WOO HOO!

 

Seriously, I have to laugh at the assumptions, because if I don't I would cry! So, if my taking them humorously is what you mean by my "wanting" it, then you are mistaken. I am not going to stop being friends with guys, because of some rumours that got started by stupid people. I am an open book, and rather than just ask me, they run their mouths. Oh, well. I don't let it bother me, nor do I let it determine who I hang out with. And as long as they don't care about what people say, then neither do I. If they do, then I respect that.

 

I mean, the guys asked me to go; I would never have just "impose myself where I am not wanted"! If they didn't want me to go, I am sure they wouldn't have asked (they haven't in the year I have worked there). Finally, they said that they feel comfortable enough with me to take me, and asked me to go.

 

Anyway, I am happy to state it went smashingly! YEY!