RandomUser Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 I'm a 35 year old man, married 2 years. I moved to the state where I currently live 3 years ago. While my wife and I are very close, we both are lacking other local friendships. While I consider myself to be a friendly person with a good sense of humor, I've always found it somewhat difficult making friends for several reasons. I was pretty shy when I was younger but this is much less of an issue for me now. I'm not a big sports fan, which can make it quite difficult to find male friends. I am more interested in music, films, and whatnot. I've historically found it easier to make friends with women (in my single days, either platonic or more than platonic). I don't think that I am snobbish, but I would say that I am selective; I don't want to spend time with someone that I don't feel compatible with JUST for the sake of spending time with them (to me, that can feel lonely). I've moved a number of times (interstate) through my graduate schooling and training but have made some (but not all that many) good friends through those times. My work now is not particularly conducive to making friends and I work in a few different settings. That said, someone else in the same situation may be more prone to develop friendships. I understand that at this age, it can be difficult to develop new friendships given people's involvements with their families, but of course it's not impossible. Typically, I am more comfortable in 1 on 1 situations as opposed to groups. I guess I'm posting this to ask for some feedback, suggestions, etc. Thanks...
underpants Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 It sounds like you and your wife need to throw some parties. BBQ, holiday party, bad movie night, game night. Whatever gets a group together. From there you might spark a friendly connection. I don't have children, but have learned that if I want to deal with reality that my friends do. My rule is that you can bring them, but you also have to take them home with you. Sometimes I get creative a make fun games to entertain the littles (or really confine them to a safe zone so the parents can rest a little more easy). Just throw a party for "whatever" reason and see who shows up. It is not that hard. Regards, Unders
Author RandomUser Posted July 13, 2007 Author Posted July 13, 2007 It sounds like you and your wife need to throw some parties. BBQ, holiday party, bad movie night, game night. Whatever gets a group together. From there you might spark a friendly connection. I don't have children, but have learned that if I want to deal with reality that my friends do. My rule is that you can bring them, but you also have to take them home with you. Sometimes I get creative a make fun games to entertain the littles (or really confine them to a safe zone so the parents can rest a little more easy). Just throw a party for "whatever" reason and see who shows up. It is not that hard. Regards, Unders Unders, Thanks for thw reply. My concern with doing that is - who would I invite? In the town where we currently live, neighbors wouldn't be good choices (we're looking to move to another town in the area where there is overall a better fit). It would be very embarrassing to throw a party and have 1 or 2 people show.
underpants Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 Why not throw a BBQ one weekend afternoon and you and your wife invite some co-workers? You could make little flyers with your contact info address, time and date and tell people to bring there own meat, byob. You could call it Dog Days Celebration. Set up a baby pool or two and just have a great day outside in the oppressive heat of summer. Since you and your wife would be the host, you should provide some non alcholic beverages and maybe some snack food. Most parents though come fully stocked with all the essentials so don't worry too much about that. So what if only a few people show. I have thrown alot of parties, some are successful some are lame. Actually smaller more intimate parties probably have a better chance of sparking a lasting friendship.
travellingman Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 I'm a 35 year old man, married 2 years. I moved to the state where I currently live 3 years ago. While my wife and I are very close, we both are lacking other local friendships. In my experience, childless couples are more lonely than single people, because they don't make the same effort to get out, and it is easier for two single people to find common ground than two couples. So it's easier to make friends if one of you is already establishing a friendship with one of the members of a couple. So you can't make friends together until you've made friends on your own. Find people you like individually, and let your wife do the same. Over time, some will filter through as "couple friends".
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