Zara26 Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 Hi. I posted here a few weeks ago and got some good advice. Here's my thread if your interested: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t122034/ OK. So my H of 6 years (together for 13) told me he wanted a divorce. Emailed me from duty to let me know ~ Nice. He didn't give me the reasons over email, but subsequently phoned me to deliver the good news. So anyway, he admits that he's had an affair. This much I now know. I spent 3 weeks waiting for him to come home so I could give him a belt between the eyes with that 4x2 Gunny lent to me ~ The thing is ~~ He doesn't actually WANT divorce now, he wants to reconcile. ~ Now that he's gotten rid of his guilty conscience he thinks we can "re-build" PISH ~! I told him a week ago in no uncertain terms that there's not a snowball's chance in hell that I would go near his widger with a barge pole after he's been dipping his oil somewhere else. He KNEW this was a huge deal breaker for me. I told him ONCE when we FIRST got married that I would NEVER tolerate infidelity and I NEVER mentioned it again. I wouldn't do it to him and I wouldn't expect him to forgive me if I did. I'm not like that though, I made a vow, I keep it. What a f~cker he truly is. I also told him that I am NOT going to be threatened with divorce. He wanted it, so he's getting it. No doubt about that now. I asked him why he couldn't keep his maggot in his trousers and his reply was "it was a one off, he was drunk, he was sorry, he loved me" ~~ PISH PISH BLAH BLAH Thats it ~~!!!! Thats ALL he could manage to say for himself after 13 years ~ ~ . Oh yes ~~ I picked a beauty here didn't I ~ A real peach ~ ! He actually started to get whiney and beggy about it at one point (VERY Unlike him I can assure you) ~ I told him to build himself a bridge and get himself over it ~ (He didn't like that ~!) OK I'm sorry for rambling but I suppose I needed to vent - The problem I have is that now he knows I am not up for reconcilliation he's moved up a gear. Apparently he's got a military lawyer (he's in the army) acting for him and he's (apparently) going for everything ~~ House, cars, horses, savings, bikes ~~ EVERYTHING. Now you have to bear in mind that AT LEAST half of that is mine. I have a very good job with fantastic pay. I have invested JUST as much, if not more into our assets. I am not really clued up about the legalities of divorce (never thought it would happen) ~~ And I must admit I'm a bit intimidated by the military attorney. He MIGHT be bluffing but does anyone know about this kind of thing ~~ I'm SURE the army dont like marriage break ups ~~ especially when cheating is the cause ~~ it looks bad. so surely I have some sort of standing there ~~ ?? My attorney say's there's NO way he can take everything but I'm worried ~?? SO sorry about this long rambly post. Just needed to get this off my chest. I feel alot calmer now I've typed it all out ~ ! Any comments welcome.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 You need your OWN lawyer and if he has not already FILED for divorce you need to do that first as you will set the tone for the divorce. The legalities very by state and there are some things specific to the military from what i remember, but YOU need to protect yourself. As for what he is asking, it is customary in many cases to ask for the world. You won't see anyone getting MORE than what they ask for. You do need your own lawyer pronto.
Topper Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 Whatever anyone says here is not relevant. Listen to your lawyer. your lawyer is the only one who has the facts. In most cases assets in a marriage are split 50/50.
Author Zara26 Posted July 12, 2007 Author Posted July 12, 2007 You need your OWN lawyer and if he has not already FILED for divorce you need to do that first as you will set the tone for the divorce. The legalities very by state and there are some things specific to the military from what i remember, but YOU need to protect yourself. As for what he is asking, it is customary in many cases to ask for the world. You won't see anyone getting MORE than what they ask for. You do need your own lawyer pronto. Thanks If Wishes ~ I have got a lawyer already. He's in the process of drawing up the papers now. Its just I've heard all sorts of horror stories about military attorney's Topper ~ I know I need to speak to someone professionally about this and BELIEVE me I will. I just feel as if I need to come here and get stuff off my chest before I confront WH with anything. I feel so angry with him at the moment, but there's no way that I'm going to let him see me like that. The thing is ~~~ And I KNOW that this is going to make me sound in-decisive but please understand my point of view ~~~ My original plan was to serve him with divorce papers first but call his bluff and find out if he really did love me enough to fight to the last for our marriage. At the end of the day, he is in the wrong here, not me. I wanted to take him right to the brink and SHOW him how much he's pulled on my heart strings. IF and only IF he'd pulled something pretty impressive out of the bag then I MIGHT have re-considered reconcilliation. Problem is ~~ it's all kind of back fired on me because he's turned it around on me and is trying to file on me now. He thinks I am so hell bent on divorce that he's gone in completely the oppposite direction and is making things VERY hard ~~ so now I'm a bit stuck becuase I cant TELL him what I was doing, it would compromise my status too much at the moment. ~~~ What a freakin mess.
McFadden Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 I don't have anything legal to say but just good for you for not putting up with any crap and staying with what you originally said. If everyone was like that more people would think twice before cheating and thinking there would be no consequence to it.
Gunny376 Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 The problem I have is that now he knows I am not up for reconcilliation he's moved up a gear. Apparently he's got a military lawyer (he's in the army) acting for him and he's (apparently) going for everything ~~ House, cars, horses, savings, bikes ~~ EVERYTHING. Now you have to bear in mind that AT LEAST half of that is mine. I have a very good job with fantastic pay. I have invested JUST as much, if not more into our assets. :lmao::lmao::lmao: Ahhhhh! Gezz, I've not laughed so hard in years! Thanks, I neeeded something to start my day off right! When it comes to martial seperation ~ divorce, all a military lawyer can do is review legal documents and advise ~ that's it. They can't even draw up seperation papers, let alone divorce papers, because they're barred by federal law from representing service members in civil matters or criminal matters outside the jursdiction of the military. As a matter of fact most of them hate this kind of crap, and only advise because they're required to. You STBXH has got nothing! As a matter of fact, you're the one that's got him over the barrel. Call his CO, 1st Sergeant, Sergeant Major and bad mouth him, (drives them nuts) once a day. and then call your Congressman and Senator's office and tell them he's not supporting you and the kids, not paying his bills. BTW adultry is a punishable offense under the UCMJ, as is sodomy (which under the UCMJ is just about any sexual act other than the missionary position with your lawful wife) as is fornication (any sex act with anyone not your lawful spouse) although seldom prosecuted. By DOD regulations you as his wife are entitled up to 80% of his Base pay, regardless of the bill situation. As a dependent wife you to have access to military lawyers.
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