silentcharon Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 Hi everyone! I have a couple of questions.... maybe you could help me solve some of the mysteries. I've been seeing someone new for about a month now, and things are very busy for the both of us. I really like this guy, and he seems to be into me as well. We've gone out whenever we can, and he recently got back from Cuba- he got me some stuff when I wasn't expecting anything from him. The last time I saw him was on Sunday, just after he got back from Cuba for a week, and we totally jumped each other when we saw each other. As far as I know, we're not exclusive- I made it clear to him the first time we met up (we met off a dating site, and he's only on 3 people's favorite list) that I wasn't looking to get serious right away. He said that was cool, he wasn't asking for commitment right away either, but on the same night, he asked me if he could kiss me. It took a few dates until we became intimate- and I'm interested in dating him. I'm afraid he may have gotten the wrong impression, and I really want to keep this guy, but I'm not sure how to go about it. He recently updated his profile with new pictures- I told him I would be seeing other people, which he said was fine with him, and I recently asked if he was seeing anyone else, for health reasons since we've slept together and he said he wasn't. I've suggested a picnic date, when we're both free- how do I broach the subject, if he is looking for someone else, and how do I ask him out? Some things are so that it seems like he is interested in me, while some things tell me he isn't putting all of his eggs in one basket. Neither was I until I've decided I want to date him. God, I am such a rookie.
JeanQueen Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 This is a good question. When to have the talk...it's something that even the more seasoned daters agonize over. I guess I would start out by saying that you initially were intrested in dating others, but now that you've spent some time together and gotten to know him you've become quit taken with him and would like to see him exclusivly. Then go from there. He'll either agree or tell you he's still not ready. It's about all you can do aside from waiting for him to bring it up.
DaNziNgQuEeN1 Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 Just ask him out! You said you aren't looking for a commitment and he's said the same. It doesn't matter if he's not "putting all his eggs in one basket"...you can still ask him out! If you want to be more exclusive with him then I would recommend you to be careful. He's told you that he isn't ready for that yet. Don't even try getting yourself attached to someone who's told you he wasn't looking for a commitment. Good luck!
Author silentcharon Posted July 15, 2007 Author Posted July 15, 2007 No, he definitely wants a girlfriend. I only mentioned that I wasn't looking for anything serious right away, as we had just met and he agreed. You don't commit to anyone on a first date, do you? JeanQueen hit the nail right on the head, I'm just going to explain now that I've gotten to know him a bit, I'm interested on becoming exclusive with him and go from there. I'm supposed to see him sometime early this week, I brought up the idea of going on a picnic, I mentioned that we could take some wine and pack some sandwiches and go for a day hike. He's really into the idea, so ... I'll bring it up when we go. Sigh :love:
daphne Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 Silent, I wouldn't ever tell a guy up front that I'm not looking to get serious right away. You may think it's what a guy wants to hear, that you're not pressuring him, but you have to be real. You don't have to say you want to get married when you first meet (I wouldn't do this either unless you don't like teh guy and want to get rid of him), but be honest. Don't waste both of your times and invest anything physical or emotional until you see that this has some substance. Otherwise, you run the risk of getting hurt by someone who's not worth it.
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