Melovator Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 How do people manage work in the midst of all this emotional turmoil? Because work is a really big part of life... While all this cr@p has been happening I've been quite fortunate to have a really supportive and undertanding boss and collegues but I still feel like I'm letting them down, even when I am there (add in sick child...), because of inability to concentrate in my usual manner. I know I'm doing my best in the circumstances and my boss knows it. But how do people who don't have that get through the work day?
Chinook Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 I have to be honest, I haven't done so well with work. I was lucky that the run up to my breakup, I was pretty efficient (maybe my subconscious mind saw it coming) and so my 'to do' list of things was clear and my schedule pretty much ship shape. Add in to that I've a lot of leave to take before the end of August. I kinda cut myself a break. But I guess all you can do is put in what you can and as long as you have made your boss and colleagues who need to know, aware of what's happening - then you have done what you can. I also find taking 10-15 mins out in the middle of the day, to give myself chance to cry if I need to - or just to think, helps me to focus the rest of the time. I tend to save my 'thinking' time for the car journey to and from work. One day last week was pretty stressful and I ended up getting through the day at work without tears...but as soon as I hit the car, it all came undone and I fell into floods of tears. I've learned not to bottle things up though and to just let it out. Wish I could say something to make it easier. It will get easier with time.
dbtmarley Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 Dude your guess is as good as mine. There is only one man I know of who would not let such things bother his job and that is my father, worked till the day before he died. I still don't know how the SOB did it... I guess I did not get any of his genes. I fell a part after my divorce and almost lost everything!
sumdude Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 It's just another of those fake it till you make it things... just keep plowing forward. Take breaks during the day. Use a sick day here and there. No point in staying home a lot though ... too much time to think about things and mope. Give yourself a break, sounds like you boss and coworkers will. In fact if there are a couple people there that you can trust you might learn just how many people have been through this. That's what I've found out. Being more open in general than I ever was before, it's true that in the states at least half the people over 30 have been through a divorce and they'll understand.
Author Melovator Posted July 15, 2007 Author Posted July 15, 2007 I guess I'm very lucky with my work because its nature means I have to take my mind off myself to help others but alos because I've got a supportive team around me. I've been thinking though about people who aren't so lucky- had a client who lost her job because she couldn't stop crying about her breakup and had a boss who was a monster and a friend who got told by a work collegue "this wouldn't have happened if you hadn't had a termination" (though how a decision made when you're 16 and get date raped is responsible for your husband leaving in your thirties is beyond me... but small minds will say a lot of silly things...) If you're working full-time you sepnd more time at work than with family or friends so not only in relation to myself am I interested but in general as well, because I somehow get the feeling that while I might be the first of my 'inner circle' to go through this, I'm definately not going to be the last... I've also found that I'm thinking about work differently, that I now want to achieve different things than I did before all this. Don't know if anyone else has found this...
azianpride143 Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 I thought I was going to lose my job since I haven't been productive in the last 3 months. I am in the same boat. My boss and my colleagues are understanding with my situation. I can't help but feel guilty sometimes since I feel helpless and just can't plain focus on getting anything done. I just spend the day not knowing what to do and stare at my screen until it's time to go home. It takes some time to get your bearings back. All I have to say is, once you do it's never the same. Because these life altering events will change you.
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