heathermarie2117 Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 About a year ago I met a guy from the club, after talking for a few weeks we hung out and we hooked up. I hung out with him a few more times before realizing he was a player, and then we stopped talking for about a year or so. It's been a while but a couple months ago he messaged me we talked, and he seemed like the same guy to me, so I just ignored him. A week later his best friend calls me with the line "If he is going to play a beautiful girl like you, I'm going to take advantage of the situation" I had met his friend before, I knew he was cute but couldn't remember what he looked like. We talked for a few weeks before he convinced to come down for a weekend and hang out with him. So I did and I played hard to get for about 3 days (I know, not very commendable) but he is the most gorgeous man I have ever met, and he just made me feel so good. He had me convinced I was not some sort of booty call like his friend had made me to be. But it was weird knowing I had hooked up with his friend, no matter how long ago. Every weekend he'd ask me to come down again, he offered to take the bus, but I hate where I live and I love being in the city so I voluntarily drive to him. In the beginning he gave my number to some girl who had a boyfriend but wanted him, she harrassed me for a long time saying she was going to take him from me. He confessed he ****ed up and there was no excuse for giving her my number even though she claimed she'd play nice, it was just to talk. She used to tell me they had sex whenever I wasn't there, he denied it up and down. We've been together for two and a half months, that girl and don't have a problem and he still denies having sex with her but that's not where the problem lies. A month ago, I went to his house, to find him with hickies on his neck. Hickies he claimed that came from a girl who he knew, that came up behind him at the bar and started sucking on his neck, my question is what the hell did he do to stop it? Obviously, nothing. He swore nothing else happened and that was it, I dropped it, we aren't officially boyfriend and girlfriend whatever. The following weekend I messed around with a guy who I used to date a long time ago. But never mentioned anything to him, because I knew for sure he cheated on me. Now I didn't feel guilty about or even better about it, it just was there. A few weeks after the situation I finally brought it up to him again forced the situation until he finally came out with the fact he cheated and he knew he ****ed up but he didn't want to lose me. He cried and I just sat there laughing, because I felt so stupid. I had always said I would leave someone if they cheated on me. After my father having a couple affairs on my mother, and her taking him back the first time, I didn't want it to happen to me. I swore I wouldn't let myself get hurt like that. But I stayed, I couldn't tell what my heart was saying and what my head was saying. I knew he felt guilty, as he should. I admitted I had screwed around and that it didn't make us even, and it didn't make it right, but if he gets to use the excuse "we're not really together" I can too... It's been a couple weeks and there are have been more changes, he calls more, he's trying to find a better job, when I drive down there he spends every moment with me (Which he should). But when I am not around I wonder what hes doing, I can't stop arguing with him about it because I still can't trust him. His best friend, my ex fling, takes him to the club, asks him to be his wing man on dates with girls, he has girls he talks to, I don't think it's okay, am I wrong? I feel like when you want to be with someone you invest all you have into that. I know myspace can be ridiculous but the fact it says single and there are no pics of us bothers me. I have mine out there, I feel like he's trying to hide me. Obviously two weeks won't fix his one night affair, and why am I putting so much into a 2 and a half month almost relationship? I don't know, there's just something about us that I can't let go of and I know I am not scared of being alone, so what is wrong with me? I don't want him to leave me because I keep nagging and making comments regarding to him cheating, but honestly can you blame me? I have so many things on my mind... Any ideas?
Cobra_X30 Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 Ummm... couple of questions. 1. Are you looking for someone you can marry? 2. What kind of traits are you looking for in a man? 3. How does this particular gentleman fit what you looking for? 4. Why do you think that cheating on your man does not make you feel bad?
SierraMarie Posted July 15, 2007 Posted July 15, 2007 Honestly, I think he's a player, just like his friend. You guys really aren't even in a relationship, and that's exactly how he wants it. He wants you around so he can hook up with you when he wants to but then he wants other girls as well. And he wants to make you think that its somthing more than that, even tho its not. Just my opinion, I have experience. If I were you, I would stop driving to see him and stop hooking up with him for a while and then see how he acts.
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