Joshhsi Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 I have been married for almost 4 years and have 2 children. My wife is a very friendly person and can be flirtatious at times. She has a number of male friends, but one in particular bothers me. This guy is married and has already cheated on his wife once (supposedly in the process of working things out with her)...but he and my wife are friends. They send emails back and forth and about a year ago, he emailed my wife stating that he discreetly wanted to bang the hell out of her. She did tell me this and did not chat/talk with him for a while, but now is talking with him again. She does not always wear her wedding ring and has gone out to do things, only later to tell me she did something else instead. (once was with him) This past week she recieved a text message on her private cell phone saying "hey baby!!". She told me she had no idea whos number it was so I decided to find out and it was this guys. This pissed me off so I sent this guy an email via myspace just saying that "just wanted to make sure you know that your red-headed freind is married", and his response was "Wow..... I honestly appreciate the heads up there. Thanks". However, as far as I know he knows that she is married. My wife says that she won't talk to him anymore, but I don't know if I can trust her. Am I being paranoid, or does something seem a bit out of the ordinary about this???
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 1. he and my wife are friends. They send emails back and forth and about a year ago, he emailed my wife stating that he discreetly wanted to bang the hell out of her. 2. She did tell me this and did not chat/talk with him for a while, but now is talking with him again. 3. She does not always wear her wedding ring and has gone out to do things, only later to tell me she did something else instead. (once was with him) 4. This past week she recieved a text message on her private cell phone saying "hey baby!!". She told me she had no idea whos number it was so I decided to find out and it was this guys. 5. This pissed me off so I sent this guy an email via myspace just saying that "just wanted to make sure you know that your red-headed freind is married", and his response was "Wow..... I honestly appreciate the heads up there. Thanks". 6. My wife says that she won't talk to him anymore, but I don't know if I can trust her. You aren't being paranoid. She is cheating on you. 1. The groundwork for the affair was built as soon as he told her how he felt. 2. Sounds like he freaked her out, and it was good that she told you but it didn't stop her from picking up where she left off with him. 3. Huge red flag. 4. Even bigger red flag. Not only is this guy on intimate terms with her, she is lying to you about it. 5. All this will accomplish is that the two of them are going to drive the affair underground and be a lot more careful about what they are doing. 6. She will have you believing that she isn't talking to him anymore, but I would bet my next paycheck that she will be talking to him and sleeping with him again, but being very careful about it this time around. This guy's wife needs to find out your suspicions (and about that email that said he wanted to bang your wife) so that she can protect herself as well. Any chance you could contact her to compare notes?
Cobra_X30 Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 How can you let your wife treat you like that? You have 2 kids. What do you think you are trying to teach them? You need to decide to either 1. work things out or 2. Kick her out. If you decide to work things out give her the old ultimatum. She needs to admit at least that getting flirty with other guys is disrespectful and hurts you. Also she needs to understand that it is NOT ok to have close male friends. Does this seem like something your in a position to do?
Darth Vader Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 I have been married for almost 4 years and have 2 children. My wife is a very friendly person and can be flirtatious at times. She has a number of male friends, but one in particular bothers me. This guy is married and has already cheated on his wife once (supposedly in the process of working things out with her)...but he and my wife are friends. They send emails back and forth and about a year ago, he emailed my wife stating that he discreetly wanted to bang the hell out of her. She did tell me this and did not chat/talk with him for a while, but now is talking with him again. She does not always wear her wedding ring and has gone out to do things, only later to tell me she did something else instead. (once was with him) This past week she recieved a text message on her private cell phone saying "hey baby!!". She told me she had no idea whos number it was so I decided to find out and it was this guys. This pissed me off so I sent this guy an email via myspace just saying that "just wanted to make sure you know that your red-headed freind is married", and his response was "Wow..... I honestly appreciate the heads up there. Thanks". However, as far as I know he knows that she is married. My wife says that she won't talk to him anymore, but I don't know if I can trust her. Am I being paranoid, or does something seem a bit out of the ordinary about this??? Sounds as though she already banged him, I hope I'm wrong though........
Lynna Posted July 13, 2007 Posted July 13, 2007 It is hard to say whether there has been a PA, but your wife clearly does not understand that her contact with these men has been completely inappropriate. If she cannot understand that from what you are saying to her, then I would suggest marriage counseling. Maybe an outside, expert opinion would help her get some perspective on how her behavior is seriously damaging your relationship.
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