doiask42much Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 This guy I have chatted with online for about nine years but have never met is going to be in town and wants to take me out. I have a bf and I've told him that I'm flying straight, but he insists it's just for a meal and he wouldn't try anything. I've heard many of his sexual exploits over the years and he does get around, and I know he's attracted to me based on pictures he's seen of me. I thought maybe lunch would be harmless enough. Bad idea? He says he just wants to put a face to the name, keeps stressing that he hasn't talked to anyone as long as he has me and simply wants to meet me in person. I have no interest in him like that; he knows he's on my DNF (do not f*ck) list, simply because I've heard all his dirt. I am sort of his LS, in a way, a place for him to vent with no consequences since we don't really know each other or interact with any of the same people. Going out with him seems innnocent enough, yet I feel like it is a bad thing in a way because my bf would not be pleased. I'm not opposed to it myself but I wonder if I should just tell the guy no, and if so, how to go about it? Maybe he won't want to be my chat buddy anymore.
Vintage106 Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Well, this is a hard one. I would just go with your gut. If it doesn't feel right, then don't do it. I, personally, would chicken out. But that's just me and I have trust issues. I'd rather be safe than sorry. Just because you know his personality online, doesn't mean he's got the same one in the real world. I'm not sure how you would go about telling him, though. I guess I would just be honest and tell him you don't really feel comfortable with meeting him and you feel that if you meet, your online friendship would seem different. Some people are just meant to be online buddies and not real life buddies. Plus, if he's seen pictures...he's got a face to go with the name.
Author doiask42much Posted July 11, 2007 Author Posted July 11, 2007 He's here for a couple of days only (I didn't even read his IM about when exactly), I figure I'll just make some excuse about being busy? Or should I do a weekday lunch when I have to return to the office and nothing weird can happen? On some level I wouldn't mind meeting him but then I think what for? And would I like it if my bf was having lunch with some chick from online? Probably not, eh? I honestly don't think anything could or would happen unless we went to a bar or something weird like that, which I definitely would not do. That would be asking for it.
McFadden Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 I would go for it just because it might be so cool to meet someone you have been talking to that long. I have a couple people I talk to once in a while on MySpace but they live on the other side of the world, I would meet them if I could. I think you trust yourself not to let anything weird happen. Usually its not good to trust someone from online but after 9 years its almost like you do know him. Make sure your bf knows if you go.
tanbark813 Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Make sure your bf knows if you go. Word. If you go without telling him it's going to look shady no matter how innocent it is.
Author doiask42much Posted July 11, 2007 Author Posted July 11, 2007 That's the hard part, he would freak out on me for sure. Not because he's a jerk but because I've not been well behaved in the past. I am guessing I should not go if I cannot be honest with him about it.
McFadden Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 That's the hard part, he would freak out on me for sure. Not because he's a jerk but because I've not been well behaved in the past. I am guessing I should not go if I cannot be honest with him about it. Is there any way you can meet him in a group situation with or without your boyfriend there? That's what me or my friends do every time meeting someone from online for the first time, its like a rule for safety. I've never even met someone from the internet but I have gone with friends when they do for the safety of being in a group factor.
Enema Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Ask your boyfriend if he minds if you go. Assure him it's just lunch, the guy is leaving town shortly and you've been talking to him for years as just friends. If your boyfriend says yes, then cool.... go along, if it feels weird or the guy gets a bit too friendly at any point, leave! If your boyfriend says no, then ok.... tell the guy you can't go because it would make your boyfriend uncomfortable due to your "misbehaving" past. 3rd Option: Take your boyfriend.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 I'd suggest taking your BF with you. Does he know that you have a BF? If you're interested in keeping him purely as a friend, then just let him know that you have a BF. Honesty will make things simpler for you both. Don't worry about "losing" him. He may not be as "friendly" after he hears that you have a boyfriend - but then, you have to ask yourself what you want out of this. By all means, let your BF know that you're meeting this guy. And, meet in a public place where there are lots of people around. Possibly not in a bar, though.
JamesM Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 Take the boyfriend along...pure and simple. Besides if you have "misbehaved" in the past, then you need to show that you are aboveboard and to be trusted. If you do not tell your bf and he finds out, because he will....then you have proven that you are still misbehaving. Meeting the online guy would be neat, but online friends sometimes are best off remaining that way.
Trialbyfire Posted July 12, 2007 Posted July 12, 2007 I agree with taking your b/f to meet him. There's no reason why your b/f would be a deterrent unless your online buddy has more in mind. Make sure your online buddy is aware this is what you plan to do so he has the opportunity to back out. If he pushes you to attend by yourself, suggest that meeting might not be a good idea.
Author doiask42much Posted July 12, 2007 Author Posted July 12, 2007 Thanks for being my Jiminy Crickets, guys. He has said he wanted to "buy me a meal" and I assume he doesn't want to pay for my bf as well. My bf knows of this guy and the nature of some of the conversations so would probably sooner punch him than meet him, even though this guy is way taller. I think I should just forget the whole thing. The old me would've just gone and not told him (since we don't live together), so this is progress. Thanks again for the feedback.
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