Aussie65 Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 I find a number on his phone with no name to it and he begins to act suspiciously and deletes it after some huge story so I say nothing but am quiet as in the past it turned out the no named number was indeed an Ex girlfriends number. SOOOOOOOO I am quiet and he asks me whats wrong and rather then get into an argument I tell him that everything is alright so he goes to shower and i head to bed and I honestly copuld not help myself so I then go to see if he kept the number on his phone anywhere else.I get caught and he goes off at me so then he starts the "you dont trust me" and I reply to him " well you know it's going to take time after everything that you have done to me in the past.I then am calm and quietly try and speak to him but this is when he shuts down.....he ignores me totally and wont answer.If there is nothing worse then being ignored and I find this often where when we have problems he wont talk about them and I being female get angrier as I want to talk about these things right?Isn't it true that its good to be able to keep the lines of communication open in a relationship?Well I then get so angry I storm off and sleep in the spare room and in the morning I am still mad at him. I want to know.....what is the secret to getting a man to talk to you about problems that may arise in a relationship?He knows that something simple turns ugly when he chooses to not speak about it so what can I do here?....
Pyro Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 So he has done some shady things already before this? If both of you want this relationship to have any chance of lasting, then he needs to be patient with you and honest with you. I mean he can't expect you to trust him again overnight. I know a couple who are going through that and it ticks me off. He needs to be patient with you and your feelings and the fact that he is shutting down and not communicating, it leads me to ask you why are you even trying to work this out? You can do better then that.
Author Aussie65 Posted July 11, 2007 Author Posted July 11, 2007 So he has done some shady things already before this? If both of you want this relationship to have any chance of lasting, then he needs to be patient with you and honest with you. I mean he can't expect you to trust him again overnight. I know a couple who are going through that and it ticks me off. He needs to be patient with you and your feelings and the fact that he is shutting down and not communicating, it leads me to ask you why are you even trying to work this out? You can do better then that. thankyou Riddler.I try so hard as I really do love being with him ( when things are not crappy).I have all my life believed people should be given a chance and some people can change but they have to want to.I have seen him try but I do live day by day worrying about when he is going to cheat on me and I know....all my friends have said the same thing "you can do better". I hang in here hoping one day I wake up and everything will pay off...maybe I am living in dreamland...who knows but right now I am not ready to let go. Life after cheating is lousy for anyone although he never actually physically cheated he was mentally cheating and that was hard enough for me to feel he wanted someone else.
Pyro Posted July 11, 2007 Posted July 11, 2007 thankyou Riddler.I try so hard as I really do love being with him ( when things are not crappy).I have all my life believed people should be given a chance and some people can change but they have to want to.I have seen him try but I do live day by day worrying about when he is going to cheat on me and I know....all my friends have said the same thing "you can do better". I hang in here hoping one day I wake up and everything will pay off...maybe I am living in dreamland...who knows but right now I am not ready to let go. Life after cheating is lousy for anyone although he never actually physically cheated he was mentally cheating and that was hard enough for me to feel he wanted someone else. The fact that he had a number on his phone that he was trying to hide from you shows you exactly who he is and what he wants, and its not you. You are only being a fool by staying with him and hoping that things will get better. Mentally cheating (emotional affair) is just as bad as physically cheating, if not worse. IMO, the sooner you let go, the sooner it will be better for you.
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